No, I’m sorry. This is not about the dark and try-as-it may-to-be sinister television series. It’s about the film from 1992. It was suppose to usher in the dawn of the feminist horror queen heroines. No scream queens in this film. But instead it was campy and hilarious, and was reviewed poorly… written off by film reviewers.
Then a little thing like a cult following made a television network like the CW stand up and take notice. They repurposed the storyline for a six year run on primetime television. Only, the television version didn’t come close to what fans of the film had fallen in love with: the hot, somewhat ditzy valley girl (Kristy Swanson) meets somewhat hot and quirky love interest (Luke Perry), two very likable, ill-intending, yet clumsy vampires (Rutger Hauer & Paul Reubens aka Peewee Herman), and a wise old Vampire-Slayer guide (Donald Sutherland).
Since one of those “other” blog sites (Hello Giggles) out there posted “Five Ways Buffy the Vampire Slayer Ruined My Life” about the television show, I decided someone had to talk about how this film impacted modern-day pathos…certainly my own.
The MOVIE “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” rocked my world, because it came at a time when I was a young mother who was newly married. My life had become very proper, and tame. I was introduced to these SNARKY, HILARIOUS, COOL phrases that made up most of the film, and I was in awe. I had always been one of the girls in my circle who wise-cracked and made silly-as-hell jokes about everything, but now, just as Buffy was always ready and always witty, so too I would always be ready with a quick-witted response. I knew that my wit could some day change the world – and definitely save my life. I was right, of course. Here are just a few of the ways the film and it’s awesome lines ROCKED my world:
- When something is TOTALLY out of style: What I use to say when something was out of date or unfashionable (oh ten or more years ago) was, like Buffy’s friends in the movie, “That’s SOOOO Five Minutes ago.” But because the quick wit of the film made such an impression, I’ve become very adept at updating my quips to relate to current culture. So now I may say, “That’s SOOO five megahertz ago.” OR if I’m REALLY on my game, I’d say (pay attention now, this is GOOD): “That is SO 3G.“
- How I ALWAYS look on the bright side: David Arquette’s character, Benny was best friends with Luke Perry’s character Pike, but he got turned into a vampire early in the movie. BUMMER. Later in the movie he says “Come on, Pike! Join me! Live forever! We can start a band!” That is SO me. I’d totally be turning life as a member of the undead into something cool. I’d be the lead singer.
- When I want to use hormones as an excuse: Buffy learned that as the “chosen one”, the “slayer”, the way she would know that vampires were nearby is she would get cramps, similar to the kind she got during her period. Her response? “Great. My secret weapon is PMS.” So, basically, whenever she got cramps, it was time to KICK SOME ASS. HELLO? Can you say IRON CLAD EXCUSE for going Bat Shit CRAZY on people? Hormones People! PMS, Periods, Menopause, Whatever! Voila! See why it rocked my world? Now, before you clue me into the fact that Buffy’s cramps were not her actual period and therefore were no excuse for any behavior (one could argue that actually), let me remind you of something. This is about how it rocked MY world. You can read all the lines on your own (a link to many of them is below) and draw your own conclusions, but no one ever promised objective or even REAL reporting here in Ms. Cheevious-land. So for me, the cramps bit was a great way for me to excuse MY ASS KICKING behavior when I’m hormonal, unkay?
Heyyyy… maybe I’m not only “like” Buffy. Maybe I AM a Slayer after all.
But really, the list of comedic retorts and phrases goes on and on! There are so many great lines in that movie. It definitely ROCKED my world.
That’s it for now my lovelies! I’m off to beddy-by, where I can dream about slaying the world with my cool-ass wit.
But before I go… one of the readers of my post “10 Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women” asked me to do a similar post about what Women Secretly Wish About Men. I’m toying with the idea. But in the meantime, for your reading enjoyment, you can find many of the funny lines from the “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” film here: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_(film).
See you next time everyone!
Love you people!!!! Mmmmpphhuuhhhh!!!!
xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious
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Dirty In Public says
LMAO! First off, I am stealing “That is so 3G!” Second, I freakin’ loved this movie. If Buffy ruined your life you’re seriously too freakin’ HIGH strung and need to chill the f* out 🙂 That is all, you’re now free to go about your day! Great post, Lisa! Just what my Monday needed.
lisajey says
Thanks lovey. I KNEW you would steal the 3G thing. LOL SO FUN. xo
Neely Steinberg says
Love this! Never thought anything that came out of David Arquette’s mouth could be inspirational. 😉
lisajey says
Right? Isn’t that funny? Thanks Neely! 🙂
Angela Jordan says
LOL! You could so be a vampire slayer! Because you slay me… LMAO at my cheesy humor! hahahaha!
lisajey says
I’m so glad to see people GOT this post! Makes me feel great to know my wackiness does not stand alone! LOL
The Sassy Divorcee says
your wackiness has plenty of good company!
lisajey says
haha… well yes… YOU… ME… Ms. Cheevious… oh you’re right… the list goes on and on…lol
Ms. Cheevious says
one of my favorite lines from the movie, which almost made this post, was when Paul Reubens’ character (who earlier in the film had one of his arms ripped off in a chase accident) was trying to convince Buffy to join them and become one of the Vampires… he said “Come on Buffy… We’re immortal… we can do anything..” Buffy’s reply was… “Oh yeah? CLAP”… kills me. love it
AccordingtoJewels says
Alright…I’m dying here. I love this movie with a firey passion. Hilarious movie in it’s own right but this spin had me cracking up. Now every time I get cramps I’m going to be looking for a floating vampire. I personally still crack up after the vampire gets his arm cut off and yells “He ruined my jacket. Kill him, ALOT!” haha.
or “Come on man…I’m hungry” …. “You’re floating man…go home!” haha love it
You, my dear, are a breath of hilarious fresh air and I adore you!!
Ms. Cheevious says
Jewels! You are so right! So many really great lines in that flick. When and if we ever all get together for a dating – relationship girls weekend, we must watch BUFFY! lol “KILL HIM!!! A LOTTTT!” lol
Eaeme says
Aye, ‘tis true thy speech be well entwined with fit allegory, whence not truly fixed, but methinks from brazen intellect. To wit, thou art smart with wit that smarts. Persist!
Ms. Cheevious says
My my… I think that was a compliment! 🙂 Thank you Eaeme!
Eaeme says
It was and is a compliment. I was over 60 when I ignored that movie (among scores of others). The generations of NewSpeak that have gone on decade after decade only confuse us who don’t keep up. A time comes when one doesn’t bother any more. Just wait. The best one can do, and you do it, is lean on your observations from all of your senses and squeeze cogent responses into fine and witty English. But since you mostly write to your cohorts in their patois and acronyms, don’t feel bad if I miss subtleties.
Jasbina says
Fun:-), always looking on the bright side so resonates!
Ms. Cheevious says
Thanks Jasbina!
Wakajak says
Sooooo funny – I loved this – because I TOO loved that movie and thought the series did NOT do it justice – very good! ha ha!
Ms. Cheevious says
I didn’t know you loved it! It was such a great movie! LOL
The Sassy Divorcee says
I love this movie and I love you for bringing it back into my life! Hysterical as always my dear.
Plus, I will now be going to bed tonight reliving my lust for Luke Perry…he is yummy! Nomnomnom 😉
Ms. Cheevious says
You are RIGHT Ms. Sassy! he is freakin’ NUMMY. good call for bed time. LOL