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Meditation

Wherever You Go, There You Are

January 14, 2008 by MsCheevious

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

It’s January, 2008, and as the snow dumps at record proportions outside my window in Aspen, Colorado – I am reminded of a little trip I took last fall.  It was just before the first snowfall, when the leaves were still turning gold, and the crisp evening air required lots of layering, warmer sweaters and all the yummy snugly apparel that makes one anticipate the fall.

It all began on Thursday, September 20, 2007, when I packed up my car and headed west to Moab.

No. It’s not in the Middle East, somewhere. The original Moab (or the Moab some may have heard of), circa “old testament” was indeed in the middle east, and those Moabites wreaked havoc on the Israelites.  They were certainly a force to be reckoned with, from what I hear.

Moab, Utah, though it’s historic reputation of being home  and jail  to some surly wild west criminals back in the day may rival that of the middle eastern Moab, is not quite so infamous. These days Moab, Utah is most known for being home to the famous Arches National Park (pictured above), and for being a favorite destination for extreme sports (biking, rock-climbing and hiking) fanatics.  I have a little house there, and though the turning of the leaves that occurs in autumn in Aspen is really something to see and often awe-inspiring, I was ready to get out of Dodge.  The dew on the grass, and the chill in air was enough to scare even hard-core golden leaf fans. I just knew if I didn’t leave, I’d be dealing with the first snowfall, and I wasn’t quite ready to let go of summer!  (How far away and unfathomable that feeling is now, as the snow piles to twelve feet on the side of the road)!

Back then, I had just returned to Aspen from the Santa Barbara coast, with the sheer bliss of the ocean breeze, together with balmy, 75 degree temps and surrounded by REAL bronze tans (with salt-water-pelted skin). And with 80 degree weather still the norm in Moab, getting out of Aspen was something to look forward to!

So, I headed west toward Moab, careful not to miss exit, 182.  Not this time.

You’d think I’d know my way to my own home – even if it is a part-time residence, wouldn’t you?  In my defense, I just love a good road trip. It’s very cathartic for me.  I get some much-needed thinking and problem solving done.  I also day-dream quite a bit, but I’ve learned (the hard way) that there is a certain point on the highway when I really have to pay attention to where I am.  I once ended up in Green River, Utah and hadn’t even realized I’d gone too far!  I pulled off the highway and wondered with awe at the great restaurants and conveniences they’d built since my last trip to Moab, just a few short months ago (I am blond.  I was born that way).  Then I realized I’d gone too far and turned my car around.  I’ve never lived it down, since.  My boyfriend sends friendly reminder text messages to my cell phone, with playful comments like, “Don’t miss 182!” or “Don’t miss the turn!” because of that little jaunt.

But this time, as I drove west toward Moab, I mused about the transition from Colorado into Utah.  It was interesting.  I drove through towns with names like Rifle, Parachute, Silt, and Grand Junction.  Think about it. It definitely can conjure up some wild west sort of images.  Let’s play word association:

Rifle:  guns, hunting, target shooting, pickup trucks and beer with too much time to waste.

Parachute: blue skies, colorful parachutes, extreme sports, paratroopers, wartime, pow, guns.

Silt:  white rock, powdery rock, quarry, middle of nowhere, desolate, target practice, pickup trucks, beer, rifles, guns, hunting.

Grand Junction:  The place where it all comes together.

‘That is soooo Colorado,’ I thought laughingly, as I drove past a “Caution, Eagles on Highway” sign.  ‘No wonder everyone thinks Colorado is full of cowboys and ranchers!’  It is a tough stigma to live down.  Imagine me, Ms. Cheevious at one of the year’s most anticipated parties – lets say an Oscar party in Hollywood (work with me here – I like to dream big). Tom and Katie (tom-kat) compliment my dress, I smile and nod as I walk by and bump into Leo (you know the guy – DiCaprio), who stops me for a hug and asks where I’ve been.  “I moved to Colorado,” I say.  “Colorado? What prompted that decision?” Now, I know in this instance that Leo is patronizing me. He’s choosing his words carefully.  He’s already imagined a gaggle of cattle ranchers, and eco-nazi hunters touring the mountains in their Hummers and gas-guzzling other vehicles, and he is trying to place me in that landscape. I can relate. I LIVE there, and I am still trying to place me in the landscape!

That said, it is incredibly beautiful country. While places like Colorado and Utah may attract hunters, gun aficionados and all manner of cowboy sorts, it also attracts hard-core, serious athletes. The two states combined are probably second to none in providing training ground for world class Olympians.  The hiking, snow sports (skiing, snowboarding, snowshoeing, etc.), rock climbing, biking and more are virtually limitless, and people come from around the world to get a taste. They (Colorado & Utah) also attract their share of authors, writers, painters, sculptures – true artists – those who break away from the mold, and escape the confines or hustle and bustle of civilization in order to create something truly superb.  I think I fall into the latter group.  Yes, I like to imagine I am a true artEEst. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  I am definitely an artist – but in reality “true” sounds like a heavy commitment.  Let’s not go there.

Anyhow, we (my boyfriend and I) spent the better part of the fall in Moab.  It was incredibly beautiful with space and air and blue skies, and visibility for miles all around us.  The red cliffs that tower hundreds of feet overhead are awesome and intimidating.  What is not to love?  It was a refreshing reprieve from our crowded lives in Aspen.

In spite of all that wonder and amazement, however, I started to get a little stir crazy toward the end of our stay.  I was ready for some social time, some fun cocktail get-togethers and cultural fare. That stuff doesn’t happen in Moab – at least not for me who knows no one.  It was time to get out of there and get my fill of GIRLY time. Shopping, chick-flicks, yoga class and fantastic meals at restaurants that are not closed due to off-season.

I guess my boyfriend got the hint, (maybe it was that banner I hung over his side of the bed that said, “Help me. I’m suffocating in the beautiful scenery.”) Shortly after I started dropping hints, we packed up and returned to Aspen.

So, as I gaze out the window, and the snow continues to fall, I am reminded that we can never get too much of life’s beautiful scenery.  Wherever you go, there you are.  You know what I mean?  Make the most of every day, and above all, stay true to yourself.  You won’t let yourself down.

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Blog content copyright 2007, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

Filed Under: Anti-stress, Girls Gone Wild, Hip Chicks, Meditation, Single Moms, Single Women, Stress

Out in the Desert

October 18, 2007 by MsCheevious

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This photo taken outside of Moab, UT reflects how I feel about life – especially now –
Life is a journey… and you never know what’s coming around the corner.

 

It’s been a challenging month or so…  I am spending some time in the desert during the Aspen off-season.  It’s a way to prolong summer just a bit, since the summers are so short in the Mountains.

It’s beautiful here, but I’m challenged.  Not by locale, but by working conditions.  It’s the main reason I’ve been away for so long!

In the last month and a half, my website servers crashed, my computer got a virus that sent out emails from my address, thus black-listing me from umpteen mail domains – like AOL, YAHOO, you name it.  I’ve spent the last six weeks explaining why I am not spamming people. Then I backed up everything I thought I needed from my computer, and wiped out my hard drive.  I started from scratch again, and uploaded all the software I needed, to make a new beginning!  THEN – the modem at my house in Moab, Utah crashed.  So, for the last few days I’ve been working from an internet cafe.  Working from home has its benefits, but some days I just wish the “Internet Tech” guy would come to my cubicle and make everything all better.  Ahhh.. some days corporate life seems almost appealing.  Almost.

Then – to make matters worse, I’ve been working on a blog post for far too long.  This was going to be really great, with funny video clips of the beauty of the desert – hiking, silliness, etc…  I took some great footage, and have since LOST my camera!  I cannot find it anywhere!  It has disappeared!

Sorry for my absence folks.  It’s been a tough run!  I’ll write again soon – once I get my head out of the sand!

xoxo – Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2007,
LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

Filed Under: Meditation, Stress Tagged With: computer problems, desert, hiking, moab, utah

Catharsis of a Scenic Hike

August 19, 2007 by MsCheevious

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7kPs-542_Y]

The Catharsis of a Scenic Hike
By Lisa Jey Davis a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious
Image copyright Lisa Jey Davis (c) 2004
In Association with Read ‘Em & Weep Articles on LJEYS.COM

You know, people’s lives are just a little crazy.  Things can often seem crazy at work.  It’s crazy keeping up with the kids and their schedules, or social and other obligations.  Even having fun out on a Saturday night can get a little crazy! Every once in a while in our lives, our bodies need to relax, regroup and rejuvenate.  It’s a lofty goal indeed, when we are stuck in grid-lock traffic at rush hour, racing around the mall to buy last minute gifts, or fast approaching a deadline we have worked very hard for.  But rejuvenation is essential.  Why do you think yoga has become a more popular practice in the last twenty or thirty years? I practice yoga, and I love it. Especially when I can practice outside, or in a calming, beautiful environment.  I must say that getting outside and breathing the fresh air, participating in nature – whether walking, hiking, biking, or practicing yoga – is extremely cathartic. There is nothing like it.  My new love is just getting out for a walk, or hike – someplace with beautiful scenery or views, where my mind can be drawn away from the pressures of life.

Today I went for a walk with my boyfriend.  We’d recently dealt with our share of stresses, from sickness (our entire house came down with some weird respiratory virus that made our heads spin – literally!  We were all dizzy.  Did you know there is actually a medication that takes away vertigo?) to an unusually early cold snap with over twenty inches of snow, that caught a lot of people off guard, not to mention the unending work both of us had to accomplish in our jobs (which we both do from home)! It seemed we’d become attached to our computer monitors, and I was feeling very claustrophobic.

After days of working inside, cooped up and feeling a certain communion with my internet connection, I’d had enough.  I needed to get out of our little condo and into the fresh air

DSC01291(we live in Aspen, Colorado, where all the condos are small – it’s much like New York City – not much space).  We drove to the guard rails on Independence Pass, where it gets locked up for the winter season.  We parked, got out and started walking.  Granted, it wasn’t a real back-country hike (we were walking on pavement), but we went at a good clip for over an hour before turning around.  The crisp, cool air was fantastic (and since most of this part of the pass gets full Southern exposure, we weren’t in danger of freezing).  The best part was the magnificent views! It felt so great to be outdoors, taking it all in!It’s times like these, when I get what I like to call my more “creative” ideas.  I can fantasize or get lost in the wonder of the wilderness.  My imagination goes wild!  One such wild adventure of the mind started like this: I noticed how I was sweating hot, even though I only had yoga pants, a bra top and a light fleece jacket on.  The air kept cooling most of my body down, but it seemed my chest stayed pretty warm (and even sweaty)!  It was then that my mind took leave. I wonder if my chest isn’t cooling off because I have silicone implants? 

Then I said aloud to my boyfriend, “If I was ever found frozen to death out here, honey… I wonder if my chest would freeze?” “What?!” he laughed incredulously, knowing I was referring to my silicone implants.  “That’s just out there!” I knew it was.  But I continued, “Well, you know.  My breasts never get cold!” I said, laughingly. “They don’t?” he asked. “Nope! But I’m not sure if it’s because when I’m outside in the freezing cold, I am moving around so much, exercising, that my chest stays warm because of the extra weight, or because my lungs are working so hard?”  I contemplated this, before I went on, “Because I never come out in the freezing weather and just stand around, so it’s hard to know if they would be warm, if I were standing still!” “That’s just too weird, honey!” he kidded me. We both laughed at the strange places your mind (well, my mind) can go out here on wasteland’s edge.

I admit, it was a twisted comical moment.  Why on earth was I thinking about whether or not my ta-tas would freeze anyway?  Leave it to me to ask the question loads of girls have wondered (haven’t they?), but were too afraid to ask! 
DSC01286Just recently, I read an opinion column in the local newspaper that suggested they set up a booth at the base of one of Aspen’s most popular hikes, Smuggler Loop.  The author noted how so many people use hiking as a way to deal with the pressures of life, so the booth at the base could be staffed by a priest, a counselor, etc… He had some great ideas for how to market the ideas, i.e. “Counselors of Cardio” or “Reverends in Reeboks.” It was pretty funny.  I thought, Now that could work! But the truth is, lots of people go out into nature and on hikes to think, not to talk!  Hiking, walking – getting out there and breathing the fresh air is extremely invigorating, and can solve a world of woes.  One could argue that given the places my mind travels to on these hikes, perhaps a little psychological help wouldn’t be out of order! I swear, my pocket version of “Psychology for Dummies” never warned me of the dangers of going wacko out on the trail! 

The point is,  I went on this great walk, and I experienced some incredibly peaceful, contemplative moments, as well as plenty of laughs along the way.  It was actually an enjoyable experience for the self-proclaimed city girl that I am!  But it also cleared my head. Believe me, I have plenty of things going on in my life to cloud or distort my thoughts and stress me out!  This little jaunt took me to another world, and I relished the moment, as well as the wonderful benefits to my body!  

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Photos & Website content copyright 2007, LJEYS.COM & LISA J. DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious / Blog content copyright 2007, LISA J. DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Anti-stress, Dating, Entertainment, Hip Chicks, Meditation, Stress

Can We Find Ourselves?

August 8, 2007 by MsCheevious

Wednesday, July 18, 2007 was a day in recent history marked for me by sadness, guilt, and hope – all rolled into one little package. It was the day my youngest child – twelve years old – loaded up his prized possessions (with the help of his dad and a friend) into his dad’s truck and drove away to live a brand new life… A life without the everyday influence, participation and firm, loving hand of his mother.

I can’t begin to express the flood of emotions that ensued once my son drove away and headed for another state, to the land of what he saw as opportunity and life on easy street. I was ill-prepared for the countless negative thoughts that would whirl through my mind, out of control. “If only you’d done this…” “If you lived in a house, maybe he’d be happier…” “You’ve been such a bad mother…”

The reality, which I so seldom indulge in, is that life with me was not so bad.  As a matter of fact, it was pretty damn good.  How bad can life be in Los Angeles, California, surrounded by good friends, a fun community and endless opportunites?  And then, what about once we moved to Aspen, Colorado?  I’m sure the winters can grow tiresome, but walking out your door to hit the slopes is not all that bad. Riding your bike to school, because it’s safe enough here to do so.. well, that’s pretty special too.

It was the divorce that made things tough on my little dude.  He and his dad were always very close, and as such, his dad could do no wrong. Ever. From the time he was six or seven, and shortly after the divorce, my son asked if he might ever be given the choice to live with his dad.  At the time, I understood this to be his little heart crying out for his daddy, and I supported him.  I knew his dad would be very important in his life. I told him when he reached twelve or so, it would be possible.  I figured that was several years down the road, and would be plenty of time to raise him into the child he could be…   He never forgot.

Just before my son’s departure, I began to panic.  I didn’t know it, nor could anyone tell me, but I was trying to figure things out – and fast.  Why was my son really leaving?  Was there anything I needed to do to change things? Should I look within myself and make changes, or try to fix my external surroundings?

This thinking, and related behavior (tears, emotional roller-coaster rides) put tremendous strain on my relationship with my boyfriend – whom I live with, and with whom I’ve started to build a new life. I started to doubt every choice I’d made since the divorce. First, to move from Orange County to Los Angeles, then to move to Aspen.  Then to move in with my boyfriend, whom I’ve since claimed to be the love of my life. Had it been too much for my son? Had he finally reached his limit?  Was all this grossly unfair to expect a child to endure? And what was this whole business about Aspen?  What was I doing here after all?  Was this really what I wanted?  I’m a marketing and public relations maven!  What could Aspen possibly have to offer me?

I decided to take the time immediately following my son’s departure to travel back to Los Angeles. I needed a good dose of it too.  I needed to take it all in and decide if I could live in peace and happiness in Aspen.  Los Angeles is one city I love. I knew this would be a challenge.

My older son had remained in LA, so it was a perfect time to pay a visit and receive some much-needed acknowledgement as a good mother.  It was a good move. I realized that I’d never visited LA and spent time with my older son – just the two of us.  We needed that time.

I also realized it was ridiculous to pressure myself into deciding for or against a city.  There were a few things I knew for certain which remain true:  1) I love my boyfriend; 2) I want to continue to try to build a life with him; 3) I love Los Angeles, and all my friends and family there; 4) I’m definitely a city girl and need a good dose of the city regularly.  But whenever I tried to reach a decision about moving to Los Angeles, or staying in Aspen I felt like I was being shackled. Choked out. Smothered. I didn’t come to the conclusion that I wanted to leave Aspen, nor did I feel I was so in love with Los Angeles that I would foresake everything and move back. Why couldn’t I make a decision?  I’ve been hailed among friends as being a decisive, action-oriented person.  I’m the one who’s brave and willing to take risks.  What was I afraid of here?

I guess I realized that this whole great whirlwind of emotion was more about ME then it would ever be about any one place. I had lost my peace, and felt insecure.  I was living in fear and regret.  My peaceful, self assured way of being had been chewed up and spit out by the ebb and flow of life, and I’d sat by and watched it happen.

I also learned that it is impossible to fabricate security, and peace.   This I know.

I went to Los Angeles hoping to find a piece of myself still there: some hint or clue … I hoped I’d find that little piece lying on a curb near my regular haunts or on the counter at my favorite music store or something..  I didn’t find myself or any remnant thereof in Los Angeles (metaphorically, of course)..   It just didn’t happen.  I loved it.  I missed it.  I missed my friends and my son.  I missed the conveniences. But I just couldn’t bring myself to say I was ready to give up on Aspen and the man who is my love.

I remembered an important idiom I’ve quoted many times, only this time it had real meaning:  “Wherever you go, there you are.” That was it.  Wherever I go, There I am!  The key to this whole mess, the ups and downs emotionally, and my happiness and peace was ME.

I realized that you can’t find something you haven’t lost… DUH. I wasn’t lost.  I was just crazy and sad over something that is NORMAL to be crazy and sad over.

I’ve decided to sit with things as they are.  Cry when I need to cry. Laugh as much as possible.  Remember who I am, and stay true to that.

Wherever You Go There You Are

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Photos, Website & Blog content copyright 2007, LISA J. DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Hip Chicks, Meditation, Motherhood, Single Moms, Single Women

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