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Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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The Funny

Hooked on a feeling

April 1, 2015 by MsCheevious

HOOKED ON A FEELING

#DailyMischief

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When I first got divorced, I wasn’t even thinking about dating, per se. I was off in La-La Land (Los Angeles for you newbies in the class… get with the program) trying to stop flopping around as a single person, when the first interesting guy came along. He turned out to be a guy who’d cheated on girlfriends on multiple occasions, but that didn’t stop me, no. I WAS HOOKED. It wasn’t necessarily HIM I was hooked on. We weren’t in a relationship for goddsakes.

I was hooked on the feeling, baby! He just happened to be the first person who came along, was a willing participant, and put the bounce back into my step (or the spark into my -um- spark plug?)….

Hooked On a Tingly Feeling

I often confused that tingly feeling with feeling special or being treated special. And heck, that tingly feeling is pretty FREAKING special. Can you blame me?

By the time I rose up from the ashes of those post-divorce “sparks” and realized it hadn’t been a lover whispering sweet nothings, but my hormones trying to scream at me…well… I’d met far too many losers.

But really, ladies, ADMIT IT. You do this too. You make the mistake of falling for the same bad guy over and over again, because not only does it feel good when we get a little action, but… well…here’s a hint: THE BAD GUYS WORK HARD TO WOO US. (Plus, most women love the challenge of taming the wild beast more than we like to admit. TRUE STORY).

And for our part, we’re putty in their hands. They’re the carpet baggers and we are handing them our prized possessions, because dammit that tingly feeling feels GOOD! You could hook me up to an i.v. NOW. I wouldn’t say no.

So when the folks at DatingMetrics.com showed me a study with statistics around this phenomenon, I knew I needed to explore further. Granted… these are people writing blog posts like “Talking to Girls Like 007” and “Picking Up Women in the Wild: 9 Lessons from the Animal Kingdom” but I was intrigued, nonetheless.

So, I conducted a scientific evaluation of my own and am hand-delivering my findings to you, here and now.

Read on, learn, and NEVER, EVER fall for a loser again (and by loser, I do not mean a hot, gorgeous, edgy guy… those guys aren’t bad, right?):

Who ARE you people at Dating Metrics, and WHY did you do this study? 

Think of us as mad scientists who measure the do’s and don’ts of dating in a secret laboratory. We did this study to wrap up the bad boy vs. nice guy debate once and for all because there’s been a lot of talk recently that nice guys are the 21st century choice and we wanted to cry BULL SH*T!

There’s been a lot of talk that nice guys are the choice for the 21st century, and we wanted to cry BULL SH*T!

But to shout from the rooftops we needed proof…so we found it in the TV characters that get women addicted to shows like The Vampire Diaries, Mad Men and True Blood.

After rounding up 53 of the “sexiest TV character” lists ONLY written by women and counting 444 votes we slam dunk proved it: 86% of women’s favorite TV characters are – you guessed it – bad to the bone. Bad boys aren’t just winning…they’re cleaning up.

86% of women’s favorite TV characters are bad to the bone. Bad boys aren’t just winning… they’re cleaning up.

What was the most shocking thing you found?

Get this: 40% of women’s votes didn’t just go to any old bad boy. They went to cold blooded MURDERERS like Dexter Morgan, Damon Salvatore and Jesse Pinkman.

Most shocking: 40% of women’s votes went to cold-blooded MURDERERS.

This quote from a Dexter fan kinda says it all: “I’m starting to get alarmed about how many murderers I would justify getting with, but Dexter only kills other killers so it’s like he’s not even a killer at all. He’s basically Batman. Beautiful, ginger Batman.”

Sure, this was all about fantasy boyfriends (serial killers wouldn’t be ideal in real life), but despite this data being very tongue in cheek, it speaks VOLUMES about the type of man that makes women…you know…go WILD.

Tell me, oh gurus…why do you think we women DO THIS STUFF? 

Women do it because oh…it feels so GOOOOOD! Bad boys allow women to unleash their most primal, sexual urges. They deliver a roller coaster ride of passion, danger, adventure and animalistic lust. Here’s a quote from a Don Draper fan that sums this up perfectly:

“Don Draper is sex. Don Draper is beauty. Don Draper is the kind of guy who will leave you at the side of the road, and have angry sex with you while making Kraft dinner.”

==============

Like I said people…. Hooked on a feeling.

I mean, feelings are good, but come on. Get over it. Take a trip to the sex toy shop if you must, or find a better feeling. You deserve it!

Oh – and here’s a nifty infographic you can pin, post, tweet, pluck, whatevs…. Check it out (and don’t forget to comment on this post):

Vampires-Psychopaths-Serial-Killers-Perfect-Boyfriend-Material

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Filed Under: The Funny Tagged With: bad guy, bad guys, batman, Dating, Dexter Morgan, Jesse Pinkman, murderers, Relationships, serial killers, Sex

How about a free copy?

March 15, 2015 by MsCheevious

I couldn’t let this chance to win a paperback copy of my book “Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood: My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town’ go without letting you in on it!  It was just offered by Momma Says Read on Facebook, and now I’ve got a giveaway on GOODREADS for all of you to enter! YAY!!!

 

Momma Says Read

That’s Momma there…

If you’ve wanted to read my book, but haven’t gotten around to buying one , how about a FREE COPY?

All you need to do is enter below, and if the giveaway doesn’t show up below for you, click HERE to enter on Goodreads too (log in is easy with Facebook)! GOOD LUCK YOU GORGEOUS SPECIMENS!!! I HOPE YOU WIN!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

 

Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood - My Zany Years Spent Working in T... by Lisa Jey Davis

 

Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood – My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

 

by Lisa Jey Davis

 

Giveaway ends March 28, 2015.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

 

Enter to win

 

Filed Under: The Funny Tagged With: books, free, free book, giveaway, Momma says Read, Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood, paperback

I like being on top

March 4, 2015 by MsCheevious

I LIKE BEING ON TOP

 

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Last Monday I received an email from Deb Scott of The Best People We Know radio show (she’s interviewed me about my BRCA mutation – and that interview enjoyed great success as the top interview on all of blog talk radio back in its day). Deb must know of my affinity for being on top, because she let me know that my book, “Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood: My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town” was the #1 New Release in its category on Amazon.

(Click here to tweet that).

I won’t even begin to try to explain to you the nuances of Amazon and how it calculates these things. I belong to a very esteemed group of independent (and some traditionally published) authors on Facebook, and none of them can explain how or why Amazon does things, but I should be completely honest here. My first thought was:

This must be a mistake. My book isn’t cheap. It’s in hardcover. Who, besides the fabulous people who follow the blog, and some close friends and family, even buys hardcover books anymore?

But it wasn’t. Maybe I was right that both men and women like a good tale of recovery from divorce and the great American Dream of making our dreams come true! Ya think?

Nevertheless, I’m happy to show you below just how FREAKING COOL it was to see my very own book displayed on Amazon with a #1 next to it! And it was #8 overall in its category. Granted, there are only about nine-hundred and sixty-some books in the Single Parent category on Amazon, and my book is not only listed there. It’s also in the Memoirs and Entertainment (I think, as of this writing it’s #31 in hardcover memoirs, and hey… as of this writing, it’s still at #3 in Single Parents, but who’s counting?) categories.

Number 1

 

 

I won’t lie. I like the look of this.

I’m not quite sure how this happened. If I knew, I’d be doing whatever it was that made it happen every single, friggin’ day.

Who am I kidding? I’d be glued to my computer screen every minute possible, clicking the mouse, banging on buttons, smoke rising from the keyboard, making it happen some more. Because dammit, I LIKE BEING ON TOP.

But wait. There’s more…  

This weekend I posted a photo of me, lying amid a pile of the advance paperback copies of my book, and someone on Facebook told me something extraordinary — that they were loving the book so much, they couldn’t put it down.

Cool Book Feeback

 

This is the stuff dreams are made of (and of course, I posted a video “If You Can Dream It – You Can Make It Happen” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dzka6cIJQM)

You can still get a copy of my book (of COURSE) by going either to AMAZON, or right here on the blog (though it’s cheaper on Amazon, of course).

 

That’s all I got for ya. Keep dreaming, and keep making stuff happen. It works.

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result (a $3.99 value). Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post on MsCheevious.com, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2015, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

 

 

Filed Under: The Funny

This is our weekend. This is our year.

February 27, 2015 by MsCheevious

Book written and released? CHECK

Book reached #1? CHECK

Book won an award in a big Book Festival? CHECK

Book signing parties have begun to take shape, the first of which happens tomorrow? CHECK

 

THESE ARE ALL GREAT THINGS, PEOPLE.

I should be friggin’ DANCING.  We should ALL be dancing.

But we’re not. Well, I’m not.

Let’s just say I’ve had better weeks. I won’t go into details because it’s just the same ole’ stuff everyone struggles with, like health insurance, or various other toils our lives get sTaCKeD with, devouring every ounce of our happy places (or our time).

 

I’m going to end this post quickly and succinctly with what I told Nuggie yesterday:

“I’m tabling this stuff until after my book-signing, even though I have every reason to be upset about these things, because DANGIT! THIS IS MY WEEKEND. THIS IS MY YEAR.”

Am I right?

As for you… I know that life can get in the way of our mantra to “enjoy every moment,” but whatever shit you may be dealing with, realize that your problems are not always as bad as the next person’s. There is always someone out there who would gladly trade places with you. You can take solace knowing some day in the future you and I will BOTH be through this tunnel, and peeking into the light.

Because THIS IS OUR WEEKEND.  THIS IS OUR YEAR.

(View photos from the book signing party here)

Love you people!

 

Host a Book Signing!

Filed Under: The Funny

Holy 50 Shades of Grammar

February 15, 2015 by MsCheevious

HOLY 50 SHADES OF GRAMMAR

 

#DailyMischief

 

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I have yet to read E.L. James’ erotic book, 50 Shades of Grey, though I don’t know that I ever will. I know. THE TRAVESTY!

It’s safe to say the book’s reputation precedes it. It has been widely panned by critics across the world for its poor use of language, with countless posts on FB, Twitter, blogs attesting the same,  and yet women, it seems, can’t get enough of the spicy sex and sultry mystique surrounding the dominant/submissive lifestyle. I hear the movie is getting a fair share of stinging reviews as well, though that didn’t stop it from breaking box office records in its opening weekend.

They (the critics) had me at “poor use of language.” I’m about up to HERE with the plethora of poor writing available out in the ether. Seeking it out for a cheap thrill (even though buying the book or seeing the movie are not going to be so cheap now) makes not sense at all to me.  

An interesting thing came across my desk this week that I couldn’t ignore, however. Apparently the folks over at Grammarly couldn’t help but jump on the 50 Shades band-wagon (COUGH – not me – COUGH). A crack team of experts on their staff took a look at the book. They reviewed it for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, and learned that — although there were some mistakes — the errors were in alignment with similar gaffes in celebrated romances such as Tender is the Night, Wuthering Heights, and Pride and Prejudice.

Their conclusion: The language of of love really is a language of its own. 

They posted this infographic comparing it to some of the most celebrated romance novels of all time (clicking will take you to another website):

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I read Wuthering Heights at about fifteen years of age. It was right in my wheelhouse. That alone is evidence to me that the dumbing down of the human race is not a new phenomenon. It was going on then, is going on now, and will obviously continue.

Does that mean it’s not okay for people to thoroughly enjoy 50 Shades? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Enjoy every moment. Let them enjoy the book, the movie, and the trading cards to their hearts’ content. I’ll be over here submitting and resubmitting this text into Grammarly, until it stops telling me my use of colloquialisms, sentence fragments and wordiness are problems. I’m wating for them to develop an app for my writing style. HUMORLY. Let’s go with that.

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result (a $3.99 value). Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post on MsCheevious.com, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2015, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

Filed Under: The Funny

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