Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

Health & Wellness

Long Live the Rabbit

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Welcome to Ms. Cheevious-land, where some posts are more “Ms. Cheevious” than others…  Some can even be downright offensive…  This could be one of those.

Particularly if you are a member of my family.  But know this: you have been warned.  And I’m NOT kidding.

And to you females out there, just remember: don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.

So here goes!

List of electronic devices that give pleasure:

1)      The Television

2)      The iPod

3)      The Computer (for some)

4)      The Massage Chair, and

5)      The Rabbit (if you do not know what a Rabbit is, now is the time to stop reading).

Four out of five of these devices utilize quality control personnel in the development process. That is, people who test the device before it goes to market, to be sure it is

a) truly meeting the customer’s need,

b) functioning properly,

c) achieving the customer’s desired goal(s), and

d) is durable and built to last for a reasonable amount of time.

I have to say I am reasonably satisfied with the first four electronic devices on the list. But what, might I ask, happened to number 5?

For GODSAKES PEOPLE, don’t the makers of these devices know that if they actually made Rabbits according to the criteria above, their sales would skyrocket, PMS would become the stuff of legends, and the term “bitch” would actually be used to refer only to female dogs.  And besides, we all know that when women are happy, the whole world rejoices.

Just think about.  A Rabbit should

a) help women see the face of god quicker, reach nirvana, or fill in the blank;

b) do what it is suppose to do based on the features on the box;

c) provide that “pleasure” (see “devices that give pleasure” list above) in the absence of a man, in the presence of a boring man, or during football season (hey I’m not only thinking of myself here); and

d) be durable… REALLY DURABLE… and last for a reasonable amount of time.

What is a “reasonable amount of time”, you might ask?  Twenty minutes about four times a week for at least three years.  I think that’s fair.

But no.  Apparently there are no test marketers for vibrators, at least from what I can tell.  And so, with great personal sacrifice, I am now dedicating my life to ensuring that quality, durability, and product satisfaction go hand-in-hand with the mighty Rabbit… and when they build the monument to me, let them say “She did it not for herself, nor for the battery companies, but for her sisters around the world and the men they stopped annoying.”

Yes, I will spend the rest of my days testing these devices, and ensuring world peace.

As you hum my theme song, please feel free to provide your list of demands, and I will take them into consideration while conducting my research. 

Long Live the Rabbit!

Love you people!  Mmmmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Anything but Common!

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Okay.  I know I’ve promised to share some juicy tales lately, and have yet to deliver.  But in the craziness of life and travel and too much fun over the past weeks, I ran across a little gem yesterday that I wanted to share with you lovely boys and girls first.  It’s from a website called Daily OM.  And it definitely provides that BREATH of fresh air in terms of perspective!  Enjoy!

Small Gestures Make a Big Difference
Common Courtesy

We often feel that we don’t have the time or energy to extend ourselves to others with the small gestures that compose what we call common courtesy. It sometimes seems that this kind of social awareness belongs to the past, to smaller towns and slower times. Yet, when someone extends this kind of courtesy to us, we always feel touched. Someone who lends a helping hand when we are struggling with our groceries makes an impression because many people just walk right by. Even someone who simply makes the effort to look us in the eye, smile, and greet us properly when entering a room stands out of the crowd. It seems these people carry with them the elegance and grace of another time, and we are always thankful for our contact with them. Common courtesy is a small gesture that makes a big difference.

An essential component of common courtesy is awareness and common sense—looking outside yourself to see when someone needs help or acknowledgment. As a courteous person, you are aware that you are walking into a room full of people or that your waiter has arrived to take your order. Then, awareness leads to action. It is usually quite clear what needs to be done—open the door for the woman holding the baby, move your car up two feet so another person can park behind you, acknowledge your sister’s shy boyfriend with a smile and some conversation, apologize if you bump into someone. A third component is to give courtesy freely, without expecting anything in return. People may not even take notice, much less return the kindness, but you can take heart in the fact that you are creating the kind of world you want to live in with your actions.

When you are out in the world, remember to be aware of others, lend your hand when one is needed, and give this help without an ulterior motive. Through these small actions, you make this world a better place in which to live.

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Wasn’t that lovely, and yet so very true?! 

Sadly, there is ONE thing I take issue with – the fact that they call it “Common Courtesy.”  Courtesy is anything but COMMON!

It is that rare jewel we are pleasantly surprised by — often times when we need it most — and sometimes when we are least deserving.  We stumble upon it if we are lucky enough to be graced by someone who gently wields it, or if we are aware of our surroundings, looking into the world with hope and gratitude.

Like they say “What goes around, comes around.”  This weekend, my pretty people, I’d like to challenge you to become a commoner .  Yep – me – Ms. Cheevious – the very essence of all things uncommon – is asking each and everyone of you  to become a purveyor of “common” courtesy – and do so with grace, kindness and an overall positive attitude.  I promise, if you bestow just one small gesture of kindness upon a perfect stranger, you will shine like no other, and be nothing less than uncommon and priceless.

Have a beautifully common weekend everyone!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmmmphhhhuuuuuhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Shake Your Groove Thing

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Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah yeah. 

Show ’em how we do it now!

Hello there you incredibly beautiful, vibrant people!  I trust after my  “Brand Spanking New – Year” post, you’ve had an incredible week, commanding your world.  Am I right?  I certainly hope so!

It has been a FANTASTIC week for me.  And I mean that in the true sense of the word:

Merriam Webster defines the 14th century word, Fantastic as:

1 a: based on fantasy : not real b: conceived or seemingly conceived by unrestrained fancy c: so extreme as to challenge belief : unbelievable ; broadly : exceedingly large or great2: marked by extravagant fantasy or extreme individuality : eccentric3fantastic : excellent , superlative <a fantastic meal>

 

By fantastic – I mean definition “c” above:  My week was so extreme, as to challenge belief. 

Ya’d think that someone who wrote with such conviction about not ascribing to the whole worry and fear campaign sweeping our nation could go on from that and have a phenomenal week – one without drama or circumstance, wouldn’t ya?

The truth is, the drama was mostly within ME.  But hang on a minute with me here.  This story does have a point – and you’ll know why I’m saying to shake your groove thang in a bit. 

It’s not that I had such an unbelievable week.  I had a week of incredible extremes – emotionally. And no, I don’t mean the girly “Do I look fat in this dress?” or “Why don’t you ever tell me you love me?” type of emotional extremes.  Those are girly extremes. I guess I don’t DO girly.  No, for me it was emotional on that same level I warned about last week.  I was extremely worried in one moment, and on top of my game in the next, fearful the next, but happy and content most of the way through.  I woke up not just one morning, but a few mornings with a feeling of incredible fear of what might happen.  I had thoughts that somehow I was not good enough to be where I was financially or professionally, or whatever. That I didn’t deserve my reality, as good as it was, and perhaps the challenges I was facing were deserved, and life as I knew it was about to change.  Everything I thought about was the antithesis of my reality, and of my normal thought patterns. It was stupefying and ridiculous, I know. 

So why would I be singing “Shake Your Groove Thing,” you ask?

All I can say is the one thing I did NOT do was lose my grip on the sense that I am better than “all that.”  On the fact that I know I attract what I want, what I do, what I say, and what I am determined to be.  I really do.  I always have.  I have watched it happen time and time again in my life – almost as though I were watching stop action film footage of the events. 

I knew all along that no matter what I FEEL, I AM the one responsible for what my world has become.  I knew I just needed to continue to stay focused, to put it out there, and to TRULY know it to be true.  I needed to be strong and make things happen.

So when I was faced with my own final challenge this week I did it.  I pulled myself up by my boot straps.  I pumped my brain full of all the things I needed to be armed with.  I surrounded myself with influential people – who would remind me of how to think.  I put my armor on (in my case it was a hot little business suit) and I went in prepared, knowing that everyone involved would be fortunate if I chose to be involved. 

Things went so well – it was everything I could have asked, and more.  So, on Thursday – the day I normally write and send this blog off into cyberspace – I went from tenuous soldier to champion within a matter of hours.  But I tell ya – it feels good to be a champ. 

And THAT, my friends, is why I am saying to “Shake Your Groove Thing!” 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWm1zYQi9_8&feature=related]

You are incredible. You are dynamic. And I am thankful for you and your thoughts. 

Have a FANTASTIC (And I don’t mean extreme – unless you want it that way) weekend everyone!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmppphuuuuuuhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2008, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

La Vida Loca with Angelina and Brad

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I’ve done some pretty cool things in my life.  I think I’ve been pretty lucky.  Actually – scratch that.  I STILL do some pretty cool things.  I AM very lucky!

Some might argue that while I’ve DONE cool stuff in my life, it all happened a few years ago, and I am in danger of actually becoming a has-been.  But I beg to differ.

Yes, a few years ago I lived in LA and worked with celebrities and all that, but then I packed up and moved my son and I to Aspen Colorado for a grand adventure.  It turned out to be all of that, and then some.  I tried rock climbing (thanks to my stud boyfriend), I learned to snowboard, and I kissed a girl.  HA!  Just checking to see if you were “listening.”  But hey, I feel as though I have the drive and adventurous spirit of Angelina Jolie.  She flies her own plane, ya know.  At least I hear that she does.  She also rides motor cycles, I think. I’m not sure I’d do the motor cycle, unless it was a really cool sport bike.  Maybe a motor-cross bike. That’d be cool.  And, yes, she is a multi-millionaire who’s married to Brad Pitt – but I’d never let a little thing like extreme fame and fortune create a chasm between me my new best friends. I can hang.

Anyhow, I think I still got it.  Even if in the end, I am delusional, I’m content with the action I’m getting, so who could argue with that? 

On top of what I do professionally (marketing and PR), I am a freelance writer.  And, no – I don’t just write this blog.  I actually sometimes get PAID to write.  Somehow I even fooled some people into paying me to do this stuff.  I love my life!  (OMG – I have to tell you this.  Just now, accidentally, and probably by a Freudian slip of the fingers, I just typed “I love my loaf” – which I immediately corrected – but then I realized it was too priceless.  Was it Freudian in the sense that I get paid to sit around “loafing” while I rant about every little quirk that crosses my path? Or is my “healthy eating plan” finally driving even my FINGERS to insanity, causing them to spell out in front of me that which I cannot have? ha ha)

Anyhow, a couple of months ago I interviewed Chris Cornell for the Associated Press.  You remember him don’t you?  The lead singer of Sound Garden, and more recently of Audio Slave?  Well – he made a slight stir last summer by singing the latest James Bond theme song.  Then of course there is the legendary cover he did of Michael Jackson’s Billy Jean.  That song was even covered recently – Chris Cornell style – by David Cook on American Idol, which elicited a phone call by Cornell to the show’s host, Ryan Seacrest, saying he liked it.  Interesting stuff, eh?  And you thought I’d lost my touch.

Well, the article didn’t get picked up.  So much for my CRASHING into the music journalism scene with a BANG. So I posted it on another blog i-Society.  Check it out (click the link a few words back), and leave a comment or two! It’ll make me feel important again.

If you are new here, welcome!  Normally I write fun, amusing posts of life from my own perspective.  To be quite honest, my perspective is one of intense exhaustion.  I think I just want to take a long hot bath, or get into the jacuzzi under the stars at the house in Moab and just chill for about six months.  Doesn’t that sound fantastic?  Heck, I’d even forgo the shops of Beverly Hills to relax for a good long while.  And do you know what sounds really awesome right now?  Brace yourselves.  A really nice long walk out in the desert.  Maybe even some rock climbing.  Nothing better to clear your head – that is, if you are in shape enough to trudge your fifty or sixty pound pack up uncharted (or non-existent) steep trails, landing at cliff bands that are more than sketchy.  It takes skill I tell ya.  Mad skill.

Any how, I am still traveling this week – so guess what?  No weight results.  But just remember, above all, I am a Thin, Light, Lean, Mean Machine. I am ROCKIN’ this thing.  I promise I’ll get back to you next week with my progress.  It’s been brutal trying to be healthy while on the road.  I need a valet – someone who will run to the market for me and grab some organic baby carrots to snack on when I forget to pack something healthy for the day.  They could also whip up a nice lean lunch while they’re at it.  That’s what I’m talking about:  Jacuzzis under the stars, and a valet. 

Now that’s the life!

It must be that time of month again.  Uh oh.  Here we go.

[digg=http://digg.com/celebrity/La_Vida_Loca_with_Angelina_Brad]

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The Indelible Foibles of Drinking & Dialing (or Texting)

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“This i-phone!” my girlfriend Danielle shrugged, exasperated. 

“What’s the deal?” our friend Debra and I asked over breakfast.

“Last night I was texting back and forth with different people, and for some reason, when you hit ‘reply’ on a text message, sometimes it brings up the last person on your phone list, rather than the person you actually meant to reply to. So last night I was texting back and forth with Craig [sometime boyfriend] – and of course I did have a few glasses of champagne throughout the evening – and he was sending me texts like ‘where are you?’ or ‘what are you doing?’, so at one point I thoughtI was texting him and I said, “I’m on the corner by The Lounge. I’ll be the girl with the hot tits.””

Debra and I chuckled at that statement alone!  Then we heard the real punch line.  “So this morning, I was going through my old texts, and what I thought was a text to Craig, went to the taxi driver from earlier in the evening!” 

We roared with laughter.  The thought of that guy racing to her corner (since we are talking about small-town Aspen here), looking for someone who was hot-to-trot for him was just priceless. 

If you are new to this blog, welcome!  Come on in.  It’s fun here.  Would you care for a drink?  ha ha

Seriously, we’ve all had our share of experiences I’m sure (unless of course you do not indulge or over-indulge in the occasional alcoholic beverage), where we’ve said or done something embarrassing as a result of having too much fun.

cocktails.jpg

And be warned:  These sorted scenarios don’t only play out on the evening in question, but can carry over to the morning after, while we recover from the night before.

I’m sure this is why my friend Danielle thought for certain that the i-phone was her problem.  She continued, “So, this morning I had a text from Ellie, who was asking where I went last night, and I thoughtI was texting her back, when I said, “I met up with Craig and we had wild monkey sex until three in the morning.”  Hey – what can I say? Some of my best friends are base individuals – given to animal instincts and behaviors at times!

As we absorbed her comments, she delivered this little doozy: “Well, I just looked, and that text went to Craig.”  she said, mortified.

“Oh no!” we said, laughingly.  Then I offered, “That’s so weird!  There must be some faulty programming on those things. You should check for updates or something online.  I bet it’s a known problem!” 

In reality, it’s more likely the alcohol in her system to blame, rather than a renegade text mechanism in her i-phone.  I’m sure Danielle, now that her system is clear, knows this to be true.

So, though I have dealt with the consequences of drinking and dialing, the whole texting thing is a new one to me.  I mean, I’ve sent some indecipherable texts after a few cocktails.  I’ve even texted the wrong person, but generally the messages were harmless, and left my unintended targets scratching their heads, and later writing it off to my – well, blondness.

It begs the question, however, how does one, if inebriated, make the  level-headed “call” to step away from the cell phone?  I am asking this question as a student – someone who does not have the answers, I swear.  If I did, my friend, I promise I’d rattle off some list of do’s and don’ts!

I suppose the very same mechanism that kicks in, making some insist, by god, that they can drive, even though they’ve only had three? four? five? drinks, may be to blame here. 

What is it about this legal drug and its affect on us?  And why do some people have more command over their faculties than others?  I have some friends that get just plain stupid when they drink. I don’t even want to be around them.  Then there are others that seem perfectly normal.  Or could it be that I’ve had as much to drink as they have on those occasions?

I can offer this sage advice, from years of doing the RIGHT thing:  If you don’t want to do anything stupid, determine that ahead of time, and be responsible.  If you find yourself guzzling the wine, perhaps you are actually thirsty.  Try a glass of water.  It’s actually refreshing.  And, as a wise man once said “Know thyself.”  Don’t be an idiot and think you can pound down the drinks without even developing a slight stagger or stutter.  Everyone does to a certain extent.  If you are going out to drink, learn from other people’s mistakes if you can and take precautions.  As a single mother, I learned long ago that you do NOT go out and drive if going out for a night of drinking. There are precious people I am responsible for, and it is just wrong. Don’t even BRING your car if you stand a chance of drinking over the course of an evening.  A hundred dollars in cab fare is far better price to pay than dealing with the myriad of other possible outcomes, which I won’t even go into here (the very least of these being a DUI).

So – enough about drinking, dialing and texting.  I know you are all sitting, waiting with bated breath to hear about my results for the week.  In case you’ve not been here, I’ve been on this challenge to get back to a healthy eating lifestyle.  I’ve been known for being an incredibly disciplined eater for most of my post-divorce, adult life.  That is, until a few years ago.  It got to the point this past January, where I put some of my favorite clothes on and they looked awful.  There were bulges where it use to be solid and lean, and I just didn’t feel as good as I’m accustomed to.  So, I got rigid.  Then I got lax (last week I actually gained half a pound).  Anyhow, I am back on track, and still determined.  You don’t get rid of bad habits overnight.  This I know. I’ve decided that until I reach my goal, I will not belabor the message in these posts.  I will simply state my goal, current weight and weight lost/gained. 

Sound good? Works for me!  Except, of course, for this week.  PSYCHE!  I am in Albuquerque, New Mexico to spend time with my mother who recently had a stroke.  I’ve been packing, condo hunting, moving, running a business and much much more ever since this whole thing started.  I’ve been traveling so much (just this month) that my whole system (physical and logistical) is off, and I decided not to go there.  I will weigh in on this (no pun intended) next week!  Know this:  Changing habits that you aren’t fond of (in yourself) takes determination, stamina and time.  You have to be IN it for real.  I am.  Bring it on, baby!  I’ve lost 8 of 11 lbs, and I am going to WIN. hee hee[digg=http://digg.com/food_drink/The_Indelible_Foibles_of_Drinking_Driving_or_texting]

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Yo Yo Me

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Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

I’m nauseous already.  Sorry. 

But I’m being real here!  And at the same time, I’m waxing metaphoric.

The Realness? My battle to lose 11 pounds has now spanned over two months, and though I’ve managed to dodge the bullet, if you will, when it comes to gaining weight on weigh-in days, I’ve not managed to reach my goal yet.  All in good time ladies and gentlemen.  All in good time.

The Metaphor?   It’s all in the week I’m having!  Or month.  Or season?  It’s been so crazy – in a fantastic way.  My business (going from running full board to gangbusters in just about three months) is ever growing – something I’ve intended for quite some time.  My writing career has gone from non-existent to something to speak of – which didn’t happen really until I finally took the advice of the astrologist at the Ebony Magazine / Essence Awards After Party held at Merlin’s in the Universal City Walk back in 2002, who said “You are a writer. You should write. Now.”  – okay, so it’s not a totally reliable source, but hey, it got me writing. (I just got an email from a hot mommy’s website asking me to do a column – won’t say much more until it’s official, but that’s AWESOME).  It’s almost more than I could have imagined. Well, almost.

Heather Headley at 2002 Essence Awards

So, why does the picture above suddenly appear in my blog?  Well, that is Heather Headley.  You should look her up.  She is actually a FANTASTIC vocalist. She is somewhat of a Diva (at least it seemed that way to me), but she is the reason I was even AT the Ebony Magazine party that year.  I was dating her manager, but that is a whole OTHER story. HA!

In case you are new here – welcome!  I’ve been on this lonnnnnng, drawn out quest to shed a few pounds and get back to a healthy eating lifestyle, and I’ve taken my peeps along with me on the roller coaster ride.  I’ve had some challenges, but all in all, it’s been pretty simple I think. Once you put your mind to something, I am convinced you can achieve anything.  Yep.  Anything. 

So, on to the reasons for some of my YO YO – isms:

I’m buying a condo in Los Angeles.

Or am I? No, yes I am.  Well, I am trying to.  DO YOU SEE what I mean?  Yes. No. Yes. Buy Right Now. Don’t Buy Right Now. Hurry. Wait.  It’s dizzying! I had two condos in mind that I liked, after my last trip out to LA. The one I was leaning toward sold. Sounds simple enough, right?  Buy the other one, right?  No, it’s not so simple.  The let-down on the first condo – it was soooo cool – coupled with some things my worry-wart Realtor said about the shaky market and when I should strategically make my offer on a property, made me rethink everything. 

So.  Here’s the lowdown on my dizziness:   I’m in Aspen.  I’m going to Moab in a few days.  Then I go to Grand Junction, Colorado with my boyfriend to celebrate his birthday – woo hoo – Grand Junction (don’t ask – it was my idea, and I’m sticking to it). Then I’m flying to Albuquerque to spend time with my mom.  I need to be with her.  I’ll be there a few days, then I fly back out to LA to hunt some condos down.  Then I go back to Albuquerque to spend more time with mom.  Then I’ll be back in Moab.  Then we (my boyfriend and I) go to Aspen to pack up that condo.  Then we are moving all of my belongings to GOD ONLY KNOWS WHERE.

Stop. Start. Stop. 

Travel. Stay.

Shave. Grow. 

Sneeze.  Don’t. 

I just threw that last one in to shake things up a bit, and see if you were reading.  Don’t you hate when you need to sneeze, and suddenly it’s just GONE?

Well, anyway – here are my health quest results for this week.  I have to say that considering the following:

Easter (fantastic brunch at the St. Regis Hotel in Aspen)
PMS (can you say “monthly bloat?”)
My friend Tanya came to visit for a couple of nights to PAR-TAY in Aspen
My twelve year old son came to Aspen to snowboard and take a vacay, which meant eating out and movies and popcorn.

Considering all that, I did not do so bad!

Start Date:  Thursday January 31, 2007
Height: 5′ 5″
Goal: 125 lbs
Beginning weight:  136 lbs
Weight after week 1:  132.5 lbs (02.07.08)
Weight after week 2: 130 lbs (02.14.08)
Weight after week 3: 130 lbs (02.21.08)
Weight after week 4: unknown – no scale! yippee! (02.28.08)
Weight after week 5:  128 lbs (03.06.08)
Weight after week 6:  127.5 lbs (03.13.08)
Weight after week 7:   127.5 lbs (03.20.08)
Weight after week 8:   128 lbs (03.27.08)
Net Loss / Gain this week:  + .5 lbs 
IT’S A GAIN – OKAY I USE TO HATE THE MOAB SCALE.  NOW I KINDA LIKE IT.
TOTAL Net Loss:   8.0 lbs 

Time to buckle down and get back on track.  No more Mister Nice Guy.  For those of you who read this and think ‘Wow, it just seems so hard,’ don’t.  It’s not that hard.  I just underwent a brief stage of the “Cutsies,” as a wise Weight-Watchers counselor once told me.  We get a few pounds off, and we start to think, ‘Hey! I’m lookin’ pretty good.  Now I can eat whatever I want!’  But the really successful people – of course I AM one of those – stick with it, and don’t get discouraged, realizing it’s all part of the journey.  You’re Up.  You’re Down.  Physically, Mentally, Spiritually.  Don’t give up, or you won’t experience the bliss of success.   

So! I’m excited about the coming months and years ahead for me (and my lovely man), even though I’ve now added even more travel to my future, and it will be hectic and crazy at times.  Can you believe my man actually agreed to go on this wild ride with me? He doesn’t even like Los Angeles! He must really love me.  By the way – let’s wish him a Happy Birthday.  Happy Birthday to him! He’s an April Fool’s baby.  What does that tell ya? That he is a fool for love? Well, that works for me. He IS a love! Mmmmphhhhuuuuhhh!

Now Let’s Talk About You:  I actually don’t mind it so much when life gets hectic and crazed. How about you?  How do you handle things when your world gets tossled up a bit?  We’d all love to hear how you glide through life with chaos in your wings.  How you do so with charm, grace and sophistication.  Oh, and be sure to let us know if you are 40+ years or older, and haven’t a wrinkle to show for it.  (ha ha)

Also, do you think I am being too easy on myself? Should I have LOST weight this week?  It was “all so easy” in the beginning.  Do you think I should just buckle down, go postal on my body and LOSE THE LAST STINKIN’ THREE POUNDS ALREADY?  Please feel free to leave me a nice, friendly reply.  (ha ha)

[digg=http://digg.com/health/Yo_Yo_Me_The_Up_Down_Sideways_Adventures_of_Me]

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