Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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Long Live the Rabbit

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Welcome to Ms. Cheevious-land, where some posts are more “Ms. Cheevious” than others…  Some can even be downright offensive…  This could be one of those.

Particularly if you are a member of my family.  But know this: you have been warned.  And I’m NOT kidding.

And to you females out there, just remember: don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.

So here goes!

List of electronic devices that give pleasure:

1)      The Television

2)      The iPod

3)      The Computer (for some)

4)      The Massage Chair, and

5)      The Rabbit (if you do not know what a Rabbit is, now is the time to stop reading).

Four out of five of these devices utilize quality control personnel in the development process. That is, people who test the device before it goes to market, to be sure it is

a) truly meeting the customer’s need,

b) functioning properly,

c) achieving the customer’s desired goal(s), and

d) is durable and built to last for a reasonable amount of time.

I have to say I am reasonably satisfied with the first four electronic devices on the list. But what, might I ask, happened to number 5?

For GODSAKES PEOPLE, don’t the makers of these devices know that if they actually made Rabbits according to the criteria above, their sales would skyrocket, PMS would become the stuff of legends, and the term “bitch” would actually be used to refer only to female dogs.  And besides, we all know that when women are happy, the whole world rejoices.

Just think about.  A Rabbit should

a) help women see the face of god quicker, reach nirvana, or fill in the blank;

b) do what it is suppose to do based on the features on the box;

c) provide that “pleasure” (see “devices that give pleasure” list above) in the absence of a man, in the presence of a boring man, or during football season (hey I’m not only thinking of myself here); and

d) be durable… REALLY DURABLE… and last for a reasonable amount of time.

What is a “reasonable amount of time”, you might ask?  Twenty minutes about four times a week for at least three years.  I think that’s fair.

But no.  Apparently there are no test marketers for vibrators, at least from what I can tell.  And so, with great personal sacrifice, I am now dedicating my life to ensuring that quality, durability, and product satisfaction go hand-in-hand with the mighty Rabbit… and when they build the monument to me, let them say “She did it not for herself, nor for the battery companies, but for her sisters around the world and the men they stopped annoying.”

Yes, I will spend the rest of my days testing these devices, and ensuring world peace.

As you hum my theme song, please feel free to provide your list of demands, and I will take them into consideration while conducting my research. 

Long Live the Rabbit!

Love you people!  Mmmmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

This Week’s Top Story…

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So, M.C. Nugget and I attended Improv Olympics in Hollywood last week for Top Story! Weekly.

thumb_Top_Story_Weekly_Logo_Only

Improv Olympics describes the show as such:

SNL meets The Daily Show in this constantly changing news-driven sketch romp through a week’s worth of headlines. Every Sunday at 9 Top Story! Weekly brings you a brand new 60-minute scripted show, which has been called the most ambitious weekly schedule of any LA theater. Put together by a staff of top writers and actors trained at the country’s best comedy programs, and featuring top names from film and television as guest performers, “Top Story! Weekly” is the most current, up-to-the-minute sketch show in LA.

That all sounds wonderful, and of course, it’s expected for the venue to promote the show.  But I have to say, after sitting through the show, I do concurr.  Yes, you read that right.  I actually agree.  Now don’t fall outta your chairs or anything.

These talented people (the writers, actors, director(s), etc) get together weekly, to write, rehearse and put together a show that offers a collection of the week’s top news stories – with a twist.  This, in addition to their regular day jobs and their undying pursuit of fame and fortune in Hollywood.

One cast member, Matthew Isaac Harris has the whole Obama impersonation thing DOWN! Not only could he pass for the president, but he’s got the voice and mannerisms as well. At first I thought he was just born with a similar voice and it was sheer luck that he found his way into this gig… that the chances of him being versatile as a comedian/actor were slim, but then he pulled off a convincing-enough Chris Brown to impress even me.  Yes, I, Ms. Cheevious, used the word “impress”.  (You know, “Suntines ah lahk to tahk lahk a SMART person, ya git it? …”)

I could go on and on about each of the individual and extremeley talented cast members – like Phillip Wilburn who’s impersonations of Captain Sully and Sean Connery were hysterical… not to mention the fact that in his spare time (when he’s not working full time at a local television station) he does gigs for the Tonight Show, and appears on CNN and more, while still managing to do this Improv Olympics gig. 

But apparently it doesn’t stop there.  Another cast member Artemis Pebdani, who graced the audience with her rendition of a newsie/entertainment gossip reporter, among other fun characters, is a busy working actress in her own right.  She’s booked regular appearances as “Artemis” (go figure) on one of my very favorite shows It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  A little bird told me she may even have an affair with Danny DeVito on screen…  big fun. 

There are so many talented folks… this post would have to be miles long to describe them all.  I hope to have more time in the audience soon – because we ALL know I love a good laugh.  When Ms. Cheevious is laughing, everyone around her is happy.  Hee hee. 

And, by all means, if you’re ever in Hollywood, plan some time to visit Improv Olympics, and certainly on a Sunday night if at all possible – 9 PM PST – for “Top Story! Weekly.” You’ll be glad you did.  It’s wickedly smart and TOO TOO FUNNY!

Tonight I’m off to red carpet for a movie wrap party.  My public awaits – heh heh.  Actually, I have to be not-so-Ms. Cheevious tonight, since I am RUNNING the red carpet.  WOOHOO. 

I’ll divulge all next time, I promise!  And YOU!  Well, you just have yourself a fantabulous weekend.  Just be sure to share with the class! 

Love you people!  Mmmmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Hallo-Freakin-Ween People

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Earth Date:
October 31, 2009

Cast of Characters:
M.C. Nugget, me (Ms. Cheevious, of course), the lovely, sexy pirate wench Miranda, the spunky, deadly zombie school girl Helenna, and the entire cast of miscellaneous characters at the World Cafe in Santa Monica.

The Recap in Ms.Cheevious Bitchin Badass Speak:

The OHs have it:
Went to the World (cafe, that is), with M.C. Nugget in TOW.
Okay – he had me.  He’s the boss of me.  So my power is only just – SO.
It was All-Hallow’s-Eve. We were ready to rock.  But we ate so much that we ROLLED. (HA HA).

Now on to the ARGH:
Our best girl Miranda was watching our backs. She saved us seats at the BAR.
And if anyone could it was she mateys. Ay, she’s feared near and FAR.
She sat us down and gave us drink, and that pirate wench said “ARGH.” (okay lame)

And of course the Fa-SHILL – ZL: (ha)
The crew at the World were geared up for mayhem – they were actually dressed to KILL.
There were zombies, a Joker (the Heath Ledger kind) all ready to give us our BILL.
The school girl zombie, Helenna said “To bite you would be a THRILL.”

But wait there’s more – know what I’m talkin bout, “A” ?
A Roadie, some Muppets, and Mini Mouse decided to come to our aid.
So we drank, were merry and ate some more, then went home  – and I got laid.

HA HA – Just checking to see if you were reading!  Tisk tisk if you weren’t!

So we drank, were merry, and ate some more, til our bill was ready to be PAID. HA HA!

So – here you go people.  It was HALLO-FREAKIN-WEEN!  What else did you expect, except some fun, sexy and of course identity protected photos??? And those are below!

M.C., Helenna, Me & Miranda
M.C., Helenna, Me & Miranda
M.C. Hogging the Stage, as usual! Gotta love him! Me and Miranda
M.C. stealing the stage, as usual! hee hee! Me and Miranda
Me Questioning Miranda as to why she was dressed as she was... ha ha
Me Questioning Miranda as to why she was dressed as she was… ha ha
Helenna trying to steal a nibble from the Roadie!
Helenna trying to steal a nibble from the Roadie!
Again with the growling!?? No, you cannot climb through that window! Enough already!
Again with the growling!?? No, you cannot climb through that window! Enough already!
Some of the Muppets came to our rescue!
Some of the Muppets came to our rescue!

As you can see, all manner of fun and frivolity took place.  I hope you had a fantastic holiday, and have recovered nicely! Have a nice weekend and be safe, would you?

Love you people!  Mmmmmmphhhuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Left Boob, Right Hand

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I slept really well last night. When my blackberry alarm went off at 7:45 am, which is later than I should have risen, I grabbed it, hit snooze and somehow, miraculously fell back into a deep sleep.

When I woke up – oh, a cool 15 minutes later, I was laying peacefully on my back. The first thing I noticed, however, was that my right hand had a pretty good hold of my left boob. And my arm wasn’t sore from clenching, no. It was sort of a peaceful, restful hold. I chuckled out loud.

First of all, I must address the chuckle. That my friends, is pretty good, because contrary to my normal inclinations, I’ve been waking up lately with worry and to-do lists on the brain, so the laughter was a welcome guest this morning. And people, I know this is an aside to that, but I want you to know that I ALREADY KNOW I shouldn’t be worrying, and have some serious meditation to do to get off my arse and start creating an incredible future. I knew some of you wouldn’t let that “worry” thing pass you by.

So, back to my story.

Talk about Girls Gone Wild!  And I wasn’t even TRYING!  Tell me people, what could it MEAN? Why is it that a girl wakes up peacefully holding her breast?  I could NOT for the life of me get a “hold” of my breast while awake, without clenching or “grabbing.”  Believe me! I tried to recreate it!

I know, I’m an odd one.

But apart from the dream I had last night, where I was dating a wild and crazy rock star (which – okay – I sort of AM), and the fact that a dream like that could elicit all manner of mayhem in my bed.  Apart from that, why my boob? And why so peaceful? And why coffin-style?

Tell me, oh great dream interpreters, please! And does the meaning change if it was reversed? Right boob, left hand?

Am I reading too much into this? heh heh

I gotta say, this Halloween weekend is getting off to a jolly old wild and crazy little start.

I’m going to be an officer of the law, and I’ll be on patrol on Main Street in Santa Monica with my funny, sexy, handsome man M.C. Nugget (@EmceeNug on Twitter). He’s dressing as Fred the Wonder Chicken (remember him?) – dressed as a pirate.  I wanted him to be my jailbird, but M.C. says he’ll be a criminal from a different era. I’ll be walking around saying things like “I’m gonna’ have to confiscate that yummy drink you just got” and stuff like that.

Here’s my costume – and YES – I am bringing my full-length coat so I don’t freeze.

HalloweenPoliceOfficer

And here is the picture from last year, with FWC and I dressed as Pirates.  This will be Nuggie this year:

HalloweenNIGHTFWC

Stay tuned next week when I tell-all. Oh – and I’ll fill you in on the red carpet event I took my peeps to earlier this week!

Have a safe, fun, scary, ghostly time this weekend you gorgeous men and women!

Love you people! Mmmmmmmmphhhhuuuhhhhhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Okay Okay – Have a Slice of Big Apple Pie

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Oh. My. Gawd. 

I have had this weird, creepy sickness for the last three weeks, and it is trying to eat away at me! 

I’m not kidding.

Well, okay. Not really.  But I sort of wish it were true. Then I’d be thinner, and we all know that losing weight is the bonus we get for being sick. But no dice.  I’ve not experienced anything similar, ever.  Well – maybe the time when I had mono-nucleosis and had to spit into tissues, because my throat closed up so tight that I couldn’t even swallow my own saliva.  Sad. 

But it’s been THAT long people!  That was like thirty years ago!  Helloooooo!

So, I finally got past all of the ailments that were bringing me down.  Finally. I think. (whew).

And now – drum roll – I am ready to dish on New York City like it should be dished upon (or on, or, er… you get the point).

But first a little segue (ha ha).  I have to beg you incessantly for something.  You see, these little “dishes” I post can take quite a bit of time.  Some are simpler than others to post, when I can easily write about something and just press that great little “publish” button.  But if I add photos or videos, it can be exceptionally time consuming.  The photos have to be doctored up to hide my peeps’ identity and all, and I must save them in a certain format.  It takes some serious strategic planning on my part.  I have to have my camera with me, and take pictures that can be used on the blog.  I feel like a quarter back in the NFL.  All those strategic moves for one purpose. Only I’m not paid as much.

But this is how a blog is done… at least in my world.

So, here’s what I would LOVE this week:  I’ll pick the topics from my little BIG APPLE SNAPSHOT post, and give you more details and photos. 

If you like it?  Then PLEASE post a comment. If you don’t like it?  Then PLEASE post a comment! 

Think of it this way: If you leave a comment, it’s sort of like a tip.  Think of my posts here as a perfectly crafted carmel machiato, or vanilla latte (or PUMPKIN for some of you holiday beverage drinkers).  You know how you go to the same coffee bar every morning, and order the same coffee beverage?  And, you know how you don’t leave a tip every single time, especially these days? (Oh, you know it’s true)  Things are tight.  So, every few times you get that coffee, you leave a dollar or more tip, even if your drink was only three or four bucks.  You do it to make up for the multiple times those barristas have served you, and you didn’t tip them. 

That’s what I’m talkin’ about.  My blog is your daily (or, well, weekly) coffee beverage, and I am that hard working barista!  Every few times you gotta leave a comment – er – tip.  Okay now? 

Now onto my NY details. FINALLY!

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, we met M.C.’s lovely friend Michael Rose, and his partner David Morgan for coffee… They were in town from London producing the play “A Steady Rain” – starring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig.  They provided fabulous seats and party admittance to M.C. and moi.

As you know if you are not a newbie, we attended the play.  (Again – no – we were not in the audience where the cell phone went  off, and Hugh, staying in character and in Chicago accent, asked the person to answer the phone. Go here, to see it if you’d like). 

We loved it immensely and galivanted off to the party.  It was (insert double dots over the “u”) uber  fabulous – but I forgot to get pictures with Hugh and Daniel, or any  of the famous celebrities in attendance that night.  I’d even SPOKEN on the PHONE to my friend Maven (a regular poster here in Ms. Cheevious-land) and she gave me the idea to shoot pictures “from the hip” so I could score pics for you all to see, but not look like a star stalker. What can I say, people?  LAME-O.  But – I must say we had fun, regardless!

Below is a complete NYC gallery – including the stars that were around that night.  Everyone from Liev Schreiber, Naomi Watts, Jerry Seinfeld, Matthew Broderick, Ellen Barkin and so many more!  Oh – and let’s not forget MY MAN, M.C. NUGGET!  HA! There are also pics of me and my peeps.  We got to spend some fun times with my girl G-Love and some of my gal pals from Aspen, as well as our friend Ricky and another friend of M.C.’s. 

**Not everyone from our trip made it into the gallery.. but they are in my heart 🙂 (oh my god, kill me now).
**Also – some pictures are just not that big – or clear.  You can click on each one to see them a little better, however. 

I think you all may know the rest – that I got horribly sick the rest of the trip – that I have continued to be sick off and on since I’ve been back (three weeks now) – and that despite my ailments it was a FANTASTIC trip.  And despite my coughing and sniffling and tummy aches, I have decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  Plus, I am so lucky to have a fun, handsome, sexy man like M.C. Nugget in my life.  Nuggie took good care of me. Even when he didn’t want to (hee hee).  Many great memories people. That’s what it’s all about.

I am sorry this took me sooooo long to get out to you.  I’ll be prompt and on time next week, when I dish about some of the other happenings in and around Hollywood! 

Have an eventful, fun and exciting weekend everyone! No matter what you end up doing!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmphhhuhhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Big Apple Snapshot

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I am quite aware – as evidenced by the posts on my Facebook profile and “Lisa Jey Davis”  fan page – that people are wondering about my trip to New York City and where on earth this week’s blog post is.  I am SORRRRRY people.  I am in New York City, gallavanting around, and have left you all in the dust wondering what’s happened!  How utterly selfish of me!

If you are new here – thanks for stopping by!  I hope you come again, because today’s post is going to be brief!  It’ll hopefully provide enough of a tease to get you back here, though!

Why brief?  Well – sad to say folks – but my allergies took a turn for the worse, and have either turned into a full blown cold, or some god-awful infection!  Blech!  So, though I’ve wanted to dish about the fabulous time me and my man, M.C. Nugget are having, I’ve just had little to no energy left for computer time.  It’s EXHAUSTING gallavanting around this city!  So, I’m sending up a few smoke signals to wet your whistle. 

P-O-O-F!  We arrive in the Big Apple and proceed to a fantastic restaurant and on to a really great bar.  I am a baaad girl.  I drag the guys there and M.C. and I close the place down.

P-O-O-F! Football all day long at the wonderful Gin Mill on the upper west side.  We rock our football pool (with 11 out of 14 – a really GREAT score by normal standards) and STILL manage to lose!  How the heck does someone get 14 out of 16 in ONE WEEK? It was FIXED, I tell ya!

P-O-O-F! We meet M.C.’s lovely friend Michael Rose, and his partner David Morgan for coffee… They happen to be in town from London producing the play “A Steady Rain” – starring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig – for which they provide fabulous seats and party admittance to M.C. and moi.

P-O-O-F! We attend the play, and no – we were not in the audience where the cell phone went  off, and Hugh, staying in character and in Chicago accent, asked the person to answer the phone. You can see that little episode here, and notice how LONG the cell phone keeps ringing). 

But the play is fabulously written, draws us in, and keeps our intrigue and interest for 90 minutes, with a simple stage, two guys and two chairs – and that’s it.  We thoroughly enjoy it.  Both actors are wonderful. The New York Times isn’t so nice.  The are snooty and give a really bitchy review!  

P-O-O-F! The party is phenominal.  The food incredible, and unending.  The bar is – well – a bar – and anything you wanted was FREE.  Grey Goose?  No problem.  Fabulous Champagne?  Yep!  Cognac?  Well, hang on there cowboy.  BUT, believe it or not, I FORGET to get pictures with Hugh and Daniel, even though I our entire table is concerned about it and assists me in my search for them at the end of the night… all to no avail, however…  I don’t even notice or say hi to Jeff Goldblum, whom I know, nor do I sneak any snap shots of all the other celebs in attendance.  Ahhh… the life of a social butterfly, who also happens to be the writer of the fabulously fun and flirty Ms. Cheevious blog.  It’s tough to stay on task!  But next week, I will post a full album of photos I’ve collected from others.  🙂

P-O-O-F! Rest, running errands, meeting friends for drinks – one of which happens to be a casting director friend of M.C.’s.  She and her boyfriend suggest that both M.C. and I come in for an audition the next day for a natural gas commercial!  So, we do!  Go figure.  More on that one later.  But I am a wreck during the entire fiasco. HA!

P-O-O-F! Tonight is our last night.  More on THAT later too! 🙂

Have a wonderfully fun and warm, and inspiring weekend everyone!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmphhhuhhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious