Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

#dailymischief

They didn’t know who it was

by

THEY DIDN’T KNOW WHO IT WAS

 

#DailyMischief

 

click to leave a reply

 

Last weekend Nuggie and I went down to an area of the South Bay of Los Angeles called Rancho Palos Verdes. We attended a birthday party at the Trump National Golf Club. Most Trump “properties” are covered in glass and steal and tower over people ominously, as if to say “I dare you.” His golf club here sprawls instead of towers, and instead of saying, “I dare you,” it says, “Don’t even THINK you’re good enough.”

We immediately felt at home when upon mere mention of the party we were led through the fancy dining rooms to the outside patio. Before you think “Oooh.. cool! They had an outside patio!” let me clear this up for you. There was no one else out there, because they seat no one there. No one except us (unless you’re spending a gazillion dollars on a wedding, and you need extra space, they’ll happily put more tables out there for the guest rejects). The patio was like a long porch to a big estate. Okay… veranda. (below photo from their website)

Trump National Golf Club

Don’t get me wrong. It was incredibly beautiful. But it was so friggin cold, it felt like the place where the family puts the kiddie table during parties, or if you’re in my family, at Thanksgiving. It was miserable until I started ordering the wait staff around and got the space heaters turned on.

Never to be stifled, at one point Nuggie and I (and our friend Jenna, who also happens to be an MOS – Ms. Cheevious on the Street – contributor), decided to walk to the far end of the veranda, where Nuggie immediately noticed the phenomenal acoustics.

We broke into an a cappella version of a song we’ve been working on for a while, “Tonight You Belong To Me.” You know the song, don’t you? Steve Martin sings it on the beach with Bernadette Peters in The Jerk. You can watch a video of Zoe Deschanel (New Girl) playing ukelele and singing it with someone here.

One day Nuggie and I will do it for you here. We’re brilliant. Trust me.

Heads turned as we walked back, but they really didn’t know who it was singing at the end of the veranda.

We like it like that.

 

click to leave a reply

 

Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

 

 

It’s all about the loophole

by

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE LOOPHOLE

 

#DailyMischief

 

click to leave a reply

 

I was called in for Jury Duty this week. Correction: I postponed my mandatory jury duty service (from last November) to this week.

My true confession over this is I would be overjoyed to be able to exercise my freedom as an American and serve on a jury. Really and truly. Pinky swear.

And I know I’m not alone in this. You’ve fantasized about kicking some criminal booTAY on a jury ever since you watched your first episode of Law and Order (and for you ancient – ahem – Nick at Nite types, maybe it was Perry Mason). It’s true. Admit it. We both have fantasized, even though we know the system works against itself and is one flawed MOFO. If you happen to be one of the few people who disagrees with me on this, I have just two more words for you:  CASEY ANTHONY.

O.J.

Black Glove.

George Zimmerman.

Lorena Bobbitt.

Apparently I have a lot of words.

And those trial lawyers are crafty sonsabitches. But hey, I may not have killed anyone or anything like that, per se, but I’ve wished some pretty bad things. Things like my neighbor falling in a ditch and never coming back, ‘n stuff. And if that were punishable by death (or at ALL) I’d want one of those people on my side doing some fancy footwork.

Called to the Bench

 

I postponed my original jury duty in November when I was about to leave town to join M.C. Nugget in Arizona on his film set. I wasn’t about to miss that, and the court said I could only postpone this last time. So I did. I picked this week, not knowing what the future held, or that some of our very best friends would choose this FRIDAY, VALENTINE’S DAY to get married (during the day, no less).

OY.

I needed some fancy footwork of my own.

Here’s what I did:

  1. I reported for duty, on time, as directed.
  2. I listened carefully to the verbal instructions of the boss lady in the jury room. (My ear was tuned in for any clues that might help… things like being “EXCUSED” and whatnot. When it came up, my brain zeroed in on everything she said).
  3. I followed her directions implicitly, and after a brief interview with a woman who wanted some fitness tips, I got my official EXCUSED stamp.

Actually, I discovered my footwork didn’t even have to be that fancy. When it comes to dealing with the county clerk’s office, the hall of records, the courts… hell, basically any government office or agency, your footwork can be…eh… mediocre. You’d probably still be okay even if you can’t dance at all. 

There is always a way to delay, distract, discombobulate or defer.

There is always a loophole.

 

In the end I found mine, which I’d love to share with you, but because I don’t want the courts to read this and decide to crack down on people with excuses like mine, I’ll leave it to your imagination and incredible ingenuity. Just trust me. I got out of it and it was all about the loophole.

Click to leave a reply 

photo credit:
myfuture.com / Foter / CC BY-ND

I’m pretty gluten-ous

by

I’M PRETTY GLUTEN-OUS

 

#DailyMischief #Health #Diet

 

click to leave a reply

I’m sure you already know this, but for the last four weeks, M.C. Nugget and I have been GLUTEN-FREE. The #DailyNugget hilariously reflected Nuggie’s struggle to be totally gluten free (here and here). It was my idea and I am happy to take the blame – er – credit. The reason I wanted to do this was because I’d already been thinking long and hard about the inevitability of my going on the GAPS diet one day in my future (something that will completely restore the flora of my intestines to a naturally healthy state).

Don’t stop reading. It’s really a thing.

So, in an effort to sort of wax GAPS, without all the upheaval to my daily routine (because it’s a whole giant lifestyle change, with real deprivation and insanity), I posited a Gluten-Free Month to Nuggie. I knew if he were game, I could certainly do it, cuz’ PFFFF… I’d be stuck then. I can’t let him outdo me (or anyone I posit something to, for that matter).

Nuggie survived pretty well on the gluten-free train too (though he may argue the contrary). When he realized that BEER is UTTERLY, TOTALLY, AND COMPLETELY GLUTEN IN A GLASS – well, then it was all over. He wanted to take his ball and go home.

February 1st was our first GLUTEN-OUS day after 30-days on the diet. So, on Friday night, January 31st we went to our neighborhood coffee shop and picked up a red velvet cupcake for each of us to wake up to. I know. We’re so friggin’ cute! We made our first day of being GLUTEN-Y a thing.

But hang on, because there is more.

I actually feel lighter. I look lighter. I feel more energetic, and guess what? Being gluten-free was NOT that hard. I rather enjoyed it.

… though, I must admit, I do love my bread. And I mean I LOVE MY BREAD.

So, then I had this dream….

No I'm NOT licking the bread! #GlutenFree

If you cannot see the video box above, you simply MUST click this link and watch this video, because M.C. Nugget’s camera skills and direction are UNMATCHED! http://youtu.be/md7CzNweoGY

Now let’s recap so you all remember this is a #HEALTH post:

After one month of being Gluten Free

1) I feel lighter

2) I look lighter

3) I feel more energetic

4) Being Gluten-Free was NOT that hard.

I highly recommend at least trying it. Then send me your dreamy video, would you?

click to leave a reply

Here comes Jabba Claus

by

HERE COMES JABBA CLAUS

#DailyMischief

 

click to leave a reply

When M.C. Nugget and I first started dating, one of the key factors in solidifying our destiny as a couple was our mutual affinity for Jabba the Hutt (from Star Wars). We see Jabba as a chubby fatso who can eat anything (and as much as he wants) and not care, because dieting is most definitely not going to make him look good. Nothing can. We totally get it.

We also have a mutual love (or sickness, depending on how you look at it) for impersonating funny or quirky creatures and characters. I do a mean Jabba. I know where I got this weird trait – it runs in my nutty family. We’re all drama queens (and kings) and will put on a show for no good reason at the drop of a hat. I cannot speak for Nuggie. He’s an actor (maybe that is speaking for him).

Although I vowed to eat healthy during the holidays (which I’m doing extremely well at it, I might add), I did not promise to prepare healthy holiday foods for others. I have my limits. Everyone else is on their own. I can only see my healthy ideas and tips defaced and ignored before my eyes so many times, before I give up and begin to daydream of shoving the fudge and cookies into the mouth of the next person to explain why they aren’t making healthy choices… it can be discouraging.

The other side of the coin is that I too love my yummy treats and decadent foods. I am something of a cook savant in that I can eat something fabulous at a restaurant and recreate it with some good success on my own. This doesn’t always make for healthy dining, which is why I am on a healthy eating binge this holiday season. But it was a helluva good (or bad) eating run over the past six months.

But enough about ME! This is the Holidays! It’s Christmas! So in the spirit of Christmas, and in the spiriting of giving —

I went ballistic and baked the following decadent treats for two days straight: White, Milk and Dark Chocolate Fudge with Walnuts, Chocolate Chunk Cookies with both Cadbury Dairy Milk & Dove Milk Chocolate bar chunks (literally — the full squares are my chocolate chips) and walnuts, and Russian Tea Cakes (snowball shaped cookies full of butter, walnuts and powdered sugar).

Yumminess at Christmas

Yumminess Closeup Christmas Yumminess AGAIN

 

Nuggie posted a DailyNugget earlier this week with all of the ingredients I used for this endeavor, to which someone said something like this on Facebook, “Hey Lisa, I seem to recall a post about your eating healthy these Holidays.”

You, my dear commenter are correct. I’m remaining healthy while I Jabba-up the rest of the world.  Look out. Cuz here comes Jabba Claus.

Oh...Oh...Ohhh...

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy whatever you celebrate. Peace out.

No really — Peace, people.

PS) I have reserves, just in case…

Reserve Yumminess

 

While you’re at it, read my new article on the Huffington Post:

“Girls Night: Tips for Responsible and Healthy Holiday Imbibing“

about being responsible while you drink these holidays http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-jey-davis/girls-night-tips-for-resp_b_4470696.html:

Xmas Cocktail: Snowball

 

click to leave a reply 

 

 

 

Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

 

cocktail photo credit:

Chuckumentary / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

 

 

Getting this holiday cheer thing down

by

GETTING THIS HOLIDAY CHEER THING DOWN

 

#DailyMischief

 

click to leave a reply

 

When the holiday earmarking the thankfulness thing is so recent we can still smell the stuffing, and the next one earmarking goodwill toward men is so close you can taste the candy canes, you know it’s THAT time of year. The time when we’re supposed to allow anger, rage and hatred for all of mankind to dissipate in favor of those more gracious expressions, right?

 

Yes. It is that time.

 

Xmas Tree
R. Motti / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

 

But just because I plan to be joyful, cheerful and full of good will doesn’t mean I always am. And even if I do exhibit these great qualities or sentiments once every um – day – right? –  these acts shouldn’t be confused with any kind of zen-like or mature disposition – PFFF.

I mean, I’m working on it, but god it’s taking a while to get there.

Remember the time I told you how I was sitting stalled on a freeway off-ramp just before this past Thanksgiving, because car number 2 in our little family blew a gasket (or something)? That story may have flown under your radar, because I posted it on my personal website rather than here. I wax PG on that site.

Yep… I had the hood up and steam was rolling from the engine, when some lousy punk-ass kids drove by leaning on the horn, hurling expletives at me for blocking the road. I could have been the bigger person and chuckled at those involved little people who were obviously incapable of understanding the great opportunity for compassion they were missing. But I hurled back an expletive like “F*CK YOU! F*CKING ASSHOLE!” as I chased them thinking I could actually take the whole lazy, good-for-nothing lot of them. I probably could have.

It’s awesome how just when you say something like I’m working on being thankful, or gracious, (or any of those great qualities we sometimes think we wish we had) that’s when every mo-fo situation under the sun comes your way to help you practice those great qualities.

So, now when I find myself in Tucson, with M.C. Nugget (in case you forgot, he’s on location shooting a film and I am his guest), it’s only fitting that the freaking hotel can’t get a single friggin’ thing right…

I have to hold my breath til I turn blue, then slap my own face to stop myself from doing what I REALLY want to do.  I have do my ohmmmms of I’m a guest of the film production people…. I’m thankful… I’m gracious… I’m joyful…

But what I really WANT to do is sign up for EIGHT THOUSAND different Yelp accounts and report every misstep by this flippin’ hotel. Because SOMEONE should! They lose mail, they forget to do promised wake-up calls, their gym has dirty mats and equipment, no one knows how the jacuzzis by the pool work, and the maids keep forgetting to do things like put pillow cases on our pillows. (The irony of my complaining about my maids – and how ridiculously privileged that sounds doesn’t escape me).

But you guys…. I won’t do that… I won’t sign up for eight thousand yelp accounts (even though I probably should), because DAMMIT…come hell or high water, I’m getting this holiday cheer thing DOWN.

Let’s do it together. Shall we?

 

click to leave a reply

Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

Stupid Fallout Boy

by

STUPID FALLOUT BOY

 

#DailyMischief

 

click to leave a reply

 

When M.C. Nugget and I met, I like to think the way it happened was kismet. He was at the pier for a Thursday night concert and KABLAMO there was a surprise concert by FALLOUT BOY. He called his best friends, (one of which I happened to know) who promptly hightailed it to the pier. As these things go, surprise concerts by such big time artists as Fallout Boy don’t just happen. The guys don’t sit around commiserating like “hey, let’s go surprise the shit out of the people in Santa Monica this Thursday,” no. Victoria’s Secret was having a big PINK party (that’s one of their clothing lines), chock-full-o models, free drinks and a pink carpet — and they brought Fallout Boy with them. They’re so nice.

By the time I was able to maneuver my way to the pier at my friend’s invitation, Nuggie (and my friends) had taken full advantage of the hosted bar. For about two hours.

Our stories differ a bit here, because mine is right (well— pffff — I was the sober one), but basically Nuggie was standing on a picnic table swinging the purse of my friend. She came up to me, and over her shoulder introduced Nuggie and I, then said to me “Let’s go watch the band!” I turned to Nuggie who was smiling and swinging that purse and said, “Would you mind holding mine for a sec”? MISTAKE.

He laughed as he said Step back! I don’t hold purses for anyone.

But, you’re holding Lucy’s… I started…

That’s only because SHE got me IN HERE.

Ahhh… someone who knew which side the bread was buttered on…

It was love, I tell ya.

You know… that pull-my-hair, then tell-on-me-to-the-teacher kind of love.

One thing is definitely true – after many more cocktails and several games of Wii Bowling into the wee hours of the morning… I was kinda smitten, and at the very least I knew I’d found a cool new friend.

And how fun was it to sneak in to a free FALLOUT BOY concert?

Now every time either Nuggie or I get too mushy with each other, one or both of us will say it:

Fallout Boy

STUPID FALLOUT BOY.

 

photo credit: bgarmisa / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

 

click to leave a reply

 

 

 

Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.