I engaged in a twitter conversation the other day about the horrors “Frankenstorm” was expected to inflict on New York. A friend was saying, “I am really hoping you won’t come to New York, storm… but I think you won’t listen.”
Yes. People tweet these things, myself included. It is sickness… these conversations we have with inanimate objects in a forum where said objects could never answer, even if capable. Okay, that’s debatable. As soon as the keystrokes left my fingers to complete that thought, I realized that acts of nature are in and of themselves, responses. I suppose if the power goes out as a result of the storm, it will be Frankenstorm’s way of saying, “Hello? Did you challenge me? Did you say something to me, the great and powerful Frankenstorm?”
Lil’ ole me wrote something which, now that I know the storm is happening, even as you read this (most likely), now seems quite capricious. It said something like “I prefer to stay more positive and let my intentions be known… “you will *not* come close. You will turn back…” I meant well, and I do believe my friend either got it, or was pissed off, as she promptly deleted her original tweet, which as a result, deleted my reply.
The fact is, the weather does not comply. All the purposeful thinking, intentions and positive thoughts in the world will not make Mother Nature listen. We can pray, meditate, beg, and if the storm moves, we thank God (or whomever we spoke to about this dilemma). If it doesn’t, we move along quietly, wondering what we did wrong.
Calm down now. We did nothing wrong. Weather is weather people.
It’s going to blow its wind, rain its rain, shine its sun and snow its snow whenever and however it chooses. There is not a whole lot we can do about it.
Wait.
Scratch that.
We can most definitely have a teensy, tiny affect on weather by continuing the high-speed ozone layer demolition course we’ve been on for decades (maybe even a century now). That will most definitely affect whether we have heat in summer and cold in winter.
But will weather change, divert, move away from us in respect to what we want?
Let me say it once more, this time with feeling: The Weather — Does Not — Comply.
And we should know this by now. Why doesn’t everyone on this planet know this?
It’s hot as hell here in Santa Monica. I’m talking late 80’s and 90’s during the day. To top it off the Santa Ana winds are in full force, wreaking havoc on everyone’s allergies. Later in the evening it turns cool and damp, which of course rings in a furious flu season. We know this type of weather is fairly normal here, particularly in Summer. But not this late in the Fall.
Listen. I know. I can hear it now: Awe, poor you! You’ve got balmy sunshine and warm breezes! Oh boo hoo hoo!
I realize how ridiculous this entire article is, but realize I’ve just had surgery. As part of the FAT HARVESTING from my legs and the FAT GRAFTING done to my BOOBS, just after they CUT THEM UP, TRIMMED SOME SKIN AWAY and RE-SHAPED them… well, I am required to wear, what I like to refer to as my own personal pair of Spanx. It’s not a pair of spanx, unfortunately, and it’s not very comfortable to wear, especially if it’s hot. So cut me some slack, yo.
I’m no idiot. I realize how ridiculous my description of my personal “hell” is, while New Yorkers and millions on the northeastern seaboard are battening down the hatches, stocking up on emergency supplies and running around panic-stricken over Frankenstorm.
But still. I’m hot. And the weather will not listen! And here is a little poem I wrote to illustrate it for you:
THE WEATHER DOES NOT COMPLY
The weather does not comply.
No matter how hard we try.
It will not do as I say.
It will not do as you say.
It will not in the East. It will not in the West.
It simply won’t comply, not even at your best.
It will not in the North, and neither in the South.
It will not hear a word that comes out of your mouth.
Not in the Fall or in the Spring.
It won’t comply for anything.
It will not change its course.
Not from a car, or on a horse.
Comply it will not do.
Not even just for you.
Not when it’s hot or far too cold
Not when you’re young or when you’re old.
No matter how hard you try
The weather does not comply.
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Other articles you may enjoy from Ms. Cheevious related to Breast Cancer Awareness (or Boobs in general):
Before the Boobie Era (BBE) (On Singles Warehouse)
Lack of attention to her boyfriend spurs Lisa Jey’s creation of a new era! (Read More)
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Why I’m Glad I’m a Woman – And You Should Be Too
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