Hellooooo all my fabulous friends out there in Ms. Cheevious-land!
A good friend sent the following list of women’s needs to me, and I agree with just about every single thing on this list – well, poem. It’s written by Maya Angelou, an accomplished writer, a woman with a doctorate degree (cool), who’s traveled and lived all over the world. She is quite an amazing single mom (at least at one time in her life she was). So – I’ve included her little admonishment to women here, and in RED is my commentary. Is that sacrilegious? Tough. You need to hear what I have to say. HA!
If you are new here – well, FINALLY! You’ve come to your senses! ha ha. JUST KIDDING! (kinda)
We have fun here, and this weekly (or sometimes bi-weekly, or whenever my travels and computer problems allow for it) blog is an extension of my book Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood – Confessions of a Hot Mamma, (need I say “AWARD WINNING”?) which is unpublished at this point – but I’m working on it. You can read about it here. But welcome to the Ms. Cheevious blog, and a whole new world! Enjoy!
So on to the poem, and my wise – ehem – wise-ass commentary:
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to…
HELLOOOO… these days she better have enough in her coffers to BUY a place of her own for cash, and then be able to RENT it back to the bastard – um, guy – that was holding her back! HA! (Not YOU, honey!!)
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…
For the boss – how about a giant COFFEE MUG or just come dressed as a pen for taking notes on all of his wise words. If he is at all lecherous, just see the notes below for dates, because let’s face it – that’s what he really wants.
For dates – will a bustier or a tu-tu do? Come on! Since when do we know when someone is REALLY the date of our dreams? Aren’t they ALL? And in that case, wouldn’t we need like seven different outfits? One for every night?
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she’s content to leave behind….
Hmmm. I’ve had a pretty good youth – but that’s all relative. I’m still young aren’t I? If you are twenty, repeat after me: “yes ma’am”. But at this very young age of mine, I don’t know whether to agree, or completely rise up in protest, take off all my clothes and run down the beach nekked. Heck, you only live once, right? HA
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age….
‘Nuff said. (smile)
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …..
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra… … a “Rabbit” (heh heh), and what’s this about LACE? I hate it. Itchy. Nope. Not doin’ it. Hot lingerie? Yes. But a good set of wine or martini glasses (or both), and always something healthy to eat (like carrots or cucumbers) in the fridge – now THAT’S practical.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…
Check!
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…
how about a 50 inch flat screen plasma tv?
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored…
Wait – covered that above… and I just memorize all my good recipes … yummmmmm… So I guess a woman should have a good memory for good recipes? So what we’re sayin’ here is women need to be super human. Right?
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a feeling of control over her destiny…
Well – DUHHHH
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself..
AMEN SISTER
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship…
Ooh. Tough call. Sometimes you want to ruin the friendship…. NOT. What kind of craziness is this??? OF COURSE ya need to know how to do those things – but let’s be REAL. Who really DOES know how? That’s why you read my BLOG people! 🙂
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…
got that one DOWN. Don’t we all, you hot lovely women out there?
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
Ohhhh, but I can try can’t I? My mom needs to wise up and just ADMIT I am her favorite! HA!
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…
whaaahhh?? over? What are you tryin’ to tell me here?
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…
now that’s interesting. I’m pretty much a “do anything” kinda gal… ha ha
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…
i like it, i like it! but i may not want it forever… may need someone to pick me up off the floor if i ever fall and hurt my hip!
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…
… NEWS FLASH – it IS personal! Someone breaks trust, it is a complete afront to ME – personally. That’s how I learn NOT to trust them again! MMM-KAY?
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…
… can you say DAY SPA? Cucumber facial, mud bath, and a glass of champagne… ahhhhh.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…
NOTHING my pretties. I can do it ALL.
Well – that’s it for ya! I am off to a weekend in Palm Springs with my man, M.C. Nugget. Ain’t life grand, people? Have a wonderfully exotic and excruciatingly fabulous weekend boys and girls!
Tune in next week, when I tell you exactly Why Denis Leary Sucks!
Love you people! Mmmmmmmppppphhhhuuuhhhhhh!
xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious
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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious
MsCheevious
Ms. Cheevious is the alter-ego of Lisa Jey Davis (former publicist, and television talent manager, current award-winning writer & author, & health and fitness pro). Though Ms. Cheevious has become known for humor via the blog and social media, offering a lighter and brighter look at life… the blog was originally a precursor to Lisa Jey's long overdue book "Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood" which offers a fabulous, funny peek into what really goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood… a Hollywood with Lisa Jey and her funny “serendipities” in it. Think Lucille Ball meets Chelsea Handler meets the girl next door (with a little chocolate and vodka). It depicts with hilarity the innocent mistakes Lisa Jey made when launched back into the big, bad single jungle, as an unassuming single-mother in the City of Angels. It’s also about the beautiful, interesting life she led while her loving, incredible sons kept her grounded and sane amid fantastic events, new friends, parties and field trips. It also shows the turmoil and heartbreak that comes with dating and single mom life. All blog content © 2015 Ms. Cheevious aka Lisa Jey Davis
Ok, so I always thought you were the strong one in the brood….sigh….give some to me.
Oh, by the way….I am the fav!
🙂
Awe – thanks blu! But I have to say I think we are all pretty strong! Don’t you? And – hellooo – what’s this about you being the fav? I don’t THINK so! Don’t make me come over there!
Well that was simply fantastic… Here here!
LOVE IT! Yes! We should have everything we want, when we want it, the way we want it, and with no lip from anyone around!
BTW . . . I’M mom’s favorite! (tee-hee!)
uhhh… hell-OOOOO!!! What planet are you guys living on? Okay. Let’s not get into an argument here – let’s just wait until we see each other next – then we can duke it out – cuz I AM THE FAVORITE – P~~~~~~~~
HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!