I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “In a Perfect World.”
People use the saying sarcastically, or half in jest, but I’ve thought about it at length, and I’ve determined what would make my world perfect. If one has a true sense of who I am, it would be easy to assume my perfect world would consist of things like world peace, no hunger, no poverty, or maybe the discovery of the fountain of youth (now THAT one could run a close second). But no, my perfect world would be a world without bugs. And by “bugs” I mean insects, arachnids, or any creepy variety of creature similar to that, for which I do not know their scientific name, in general.
Let’s think about this, really. No disrespect intended to the great powers that placed us on this clod of dirt floating through space, but, assuming there was “design” involved in all of this – I have to ask the question: Why bugs? If I were starting this whole concept over from scratch I think I’d have to bring in the focus groups and devise a way to get rid of the whole pollination/bug interaction thing. There would be no bugs. Period.
No longer would I walk out my door on one of the few hundred sunny days per year in Southern California and be forced to cross the street to get away from a pesky horse fly or bee who has mistaken me for a flower and flown into my ear, up my nose or into my mouth as I’m speaking. Never again would I be the person invited to an outdoor gathering, and to everyone else’s delight, seem to be the only one the spiders, bees, ants, or any other bug are attracted to. I’ve actually been told that if I come to an outdoor party, they don’t have to worry about bug-repellent.
That’s it. No bugs. True bliss.
Don’t hate me. I’m only delivering the truth. Just see for yourself.
This is a water bug of some sort. Are those EGGS on his back? EWWWW
This one looks like some kind of thing I’ve seen on Family Guy or something. Blech.
Look at the bulgy red eyes on this one. And what kind of teeth are THOSE? ICK.
This guy looks like he just might creep into my nightmare one night. Look at those mean, evil ass eyes. OH.MY.GOD.
Here is a female horsefly. I really do NOT want to know where her legs have been.
And this guy… Well, okay. He’s kinda cute….
I rest my case. Just sayin’. Bug free would be pretty close to perfect.
And with that, I will bid you adieu for the week, my lovelies. Stay safe, and steer clear of the ugly bugs.
Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!!
xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious
aka Lisa Jey Davis
Editor in [Mis] Chief
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MsCheevious
Ms. Cheevious is the alter-ego of Lisa Jey Davis (former publicist, and television talent manager, current award-winning writer & author, & health and fitness pro). Though Ms. Cheevious has become known for humor via the blog and social media, offering a lighter and brighter look at life… the blog was originally a precursor to Lisa Jey's long overdue book "Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood" which offers a fabulous, funny peek into what really goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood… a Hollywood with Lisa Jey and her funny “serendipities” in it. Think Lucille Ball meets Chelsea Handler meets the girl next door (with a little chocolate and vodka). It depicts with hilarity the innocent mistakes Lisa Jey made when launched back into the big, bad single jungle, as an unassuming single-mother in the City of Angels. It’s also about the beautiful, interesting life she led while her loving, incredible sons kept her grounded and sane amid fantastic events, new friends, parties and field trips. It also shows the turmoil and heartbreak that comes with dating and single mom life. All blog content © 2015 Ms. Cheevious aka Lisa Jey Davis
Just think of it as a compliment. That bug thought you were pretty and smelled close enough to a flower he thought he’d investigate!
<3 the "Happy Place" spin! LMAO!
HAH!
No dice Alan. I’ve tried that… I’ve joked with M.C. Nugget that I am like a petite Flower to them, and they simply can’t help themselves… but it’s no consolation when they fly up my nose.
Bugs must be similar to cats, they are attracted to the one who likes them the least.Now that I am thinking about it, My husband isn’t a cat fan and bugs are attracted to him and Rebekah’s cat adores him. I think you must explore this.
Onisha – that is very interesting… maybe it’s like pheromones but for insects and cats? Cats seem to like me too…
I am right behind ya on this one sister!!
Thanks Tom! I’m right behind me too… wait….
You have no idea how hard it was to get past those photos (got itchy at the mere sight of them), to scroll to the bottom and leave a comment. No matter where I am, or if with a crowd of people, the one insect in the vicinity will find me. If only…
CR – I am glad to know that I am not the only one! Just sayin’
OH. Dear. Lord! I am totally with you! Arrgghhh! Just looking at the pics creeped me out! LOL!
HA! You see? Am I right, or am I right? LOL
Always right! LMAO!
Good LORD is right! Those are some of the ugliest bugs I think I have ever seen!
yes they are Luann. Yes they are.
LOL! Ms. Cheevious, I dare say you would not care for our Hobo spiders. They become especially aggressive when guarding an egg sack. A protective mother chased my mother into a laundry basket once, I kid you not. 🙂
Elise you know it. No Hobo or Drunken anykinda spiders. Just sayin’ … lol
Ah yes, and me too, a mosquito, fly, wasp, bee magnet if there ever was one. AND I KNOW WHY!!! – – – Body surface temperature. I’m hot; not to be taken hot like a pop performer but just on the thermo scale. These airborne pests seek heat with precision and go for targets like you and me. When I was in grade school I had a scam. I could hold my breath for as long as possible a few times, go to the school nurse and complain of illness. She would take my temperature and seeing a serious fever would let me go home. A silver lining.
Great bug pictures.
Here is a poorly, incorrectly remembered fact, but true in general: The total of all ants on the earth vastly outweighs the total of all humans. Who’s ahead?
Computer programming errors are called bugs too. At the MIT computer lab in the very early process of programs running on the Whirlwind I research computer was
monitored on a cathode ray oscilloscope tube. One test program went awry and instead of the display of an orderly sequence of tallied lines of progress the screen showed the unpredicted trail of wandering dots. Norman Daggett, one of the senior system engineers, said that looks like a bug track. Thus the word came into the language.
Well Eaeme, you have found me out. I hate all KINDS of bugs… Living or techno-living — LOL