Okay everyone! Here’s a little bonus post to launch us into the new year. If you are new HERE – well, geez, WELCOME! I love that you’ve stopped by! Be sure and post something on your way out, would ya? Thanks! 🙂
So… here goes…
With the New Year now in full swing, (and after one of the toughest years for most everyone out there – both fiscally, and mentally – due to the barrage of garbage that was drilled into our brains – ad nauseum, infinitum – in the form of stupid statements like “the sucky economy” or “you know… they couldn’t hire so-n-so, because business is so bad”, and all manner of other trash-talk stuff), I decided it’s time to talk about being single. HA! HA!
I know. I know. Why talk about being single? Why such a departure from the whole “the economy sucks” rant? Well, it’s not such a departure. It’s actually related in a twisted sort of way. And besides, we all know that the neuro-paths in my brain are a little twisted, so try and keep up, would ya?
Basically – I KNOW for a fact that some of you out there worked yourselves up into little frenzies and created disappointing NYE’s for yourselves – all because you had a picture of what was suppose to happen when the clock struck midnight. Indulge me here:
If you’re a guy, admit it. You imagined that if things went your way, you were gonna’ be with one of the hottest girls around. You planned that if you did all the right things to romance her in the weeks, days and hours leading up to that midnight kiss on New Years Eve (open doors for her, help her with her jacket, take her out for drinks with your sacred inner circle of guy friends, make her feel special, even call to make sure she is safe at home if she drives on her own, etc… etc… blah, blah, blah) that you’d be sure to “get some.” Because in your mind the kiss was just the beginning. Mannn oh man, if you played your cards right you were gonna’ get some, and get some GOOD. You were gonna’ have some of your very own New Year’s Eve-fireworks. It didn’t matter that your girl was probably thinking as the two of you moved in for the kiss, that the two of you were “ushering in the New Year – together: Partners, walking hand-in-hand (together), into a sea of happiness… forging a future full of good memories… TOGETHER.” All you were thinking was, “Bring it on, baby! I’ve been working HARD for this night!” And that was about it!
So, do tell. How’d that work out for ya? Huh, guys?
And you girlie girls out there… those of you who are of the single variety. Yes, I am talking to you now. You who tried your hardest to have a date on New Year’s Eve, if only to relieve the stress or embarrassment of having no special “someone” to kiss at the strike of midnight. You know it’s true. If you aren’t in a relationship at the moment, you KNOW it was all only about that very moment… more-so than whether or not you really actually LIKED the guy. But worse, if you DID like the guy, you built that moment up into some incredibly heavily weighted moment, that no person can live up to. You imagined the two of you would smooch, share an intense emotional tie, and move forward into the new year as a newly bonded couple, and plan the days and weeks ahead together. And if you were flying solo on New Year’s Eve, out with the girls, you KNOW it was an important thing for most of you to find someone “suitable,” who you could flirt and play cat and mouse with, and then hopefully get a smooch out of it at midnight as well. Am I right?
So, fill us in. How’d it go?
I’m just sayin’ people. What the HECK is so wrong with being single? What the HECK would have been so bad about being at the bar, and NOT kissing anyone – except maybe good friends on the cheek, or whatever – when that clock struck midnight? How hard IS it REALLY to enjoy oneself as a single individual?
A very shrewd single gal said recently, “Being single is NOT a condition that needs a cure.”
AMEN TO THAT.
And, please don’t preach to me about how I have M.C. Nugget, and perhaps I can’t relate, or whatever else you’d like to use to justify any sort of erratic obsessive-compulsive behavior. I’ve been single plenty in my life, and I am still single today. I am not engaged, or married, or in any sort of what most people would consider a “traditional” relationship. I too, realize I am not getting any younger, and old age is slowly working its way toward little ole’ me. Age spares no one. But I am only getting BETTER BABY. Age can come and kiss my cute little tuckus. HA! The fact that M.C. and I call each other boyfriend/girlfriend is really incidental, and it took us over nine months of dating to do so, as we were both so happy being single ourselves, that we didn’t want to “label” and ruin it! Yes, I loved being with him on New Year’s Eve and was very glad to kiss only him when the clock struck twelve. But that’s besides the point.
The fact is – I am so tired of people being so unhappy with their lot in life that they manipulate and commit all manner of craziness – all for the sake of “getting” happy, or “finding” happiness. Don’t you get it? You need to be happy with life as you ARE. Realize what a great person you ARE without anyone else. Put yourself in a position of power, so that you can pick and choose and be selective. Then, when that girl or guy comes along that is perfect for you, you’ll actually be capable of SEEING him or her when they are in FRONT of you!
So – my advice this year girls and boys? One guess. Get happy being you – all alone. Get to know yourself and fall in love with who you are – what makes up everything about you. If you have work to do on you – DO IT. YOU are WORTH it. Get in shape, lean out those bodies, or get a massage… whatever works for you. But GET HAPPY WITH YOU – all by your lonesome. Then and only then will you be ready – IF YOU WANT – to allow someone else into your great little life to participate!
Get it?
Now go out there and have some fun with your bad-ass self, would you? As I promised, my next regular post will dish on some really fantastic Hollywood events I’ve been able to take some clients to lately! Stay tuned!
Love you people! Mmmmmmmmphhhhuhhhhh!!!
xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious
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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious
MsCheevious
Ms. Cheevious is the alter-ego of Lisa Jey Davis (former publicist, and television talent manager, current award-winning writer & author, & health and fitness pro). Though Ms. Cheevious has become known for humor via the blog and social media, offering a lighter and brighter look at life… the blog was originally a precursor to Lisa Jey's long overdue book "Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood" which offers a fabulous, funny peek into what really goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood… a Hollywood with Lisa Jey and her funny “serendipities” in it. Think Lucille Ball meets Chelsea Handler meets the girl next door (with a little chocolate and vodka). It depicts with hilarity the innocent mistakes Lisa Jey made when launched back into the big, bad single jungle, as an unassuming single-mother in the City of Angels. It’s also about the beautiful, interesting life she led while her loving, incredible sons kept her grounded and sane amid fantastic events, new friends, parties and field trips. It also shows the turmoil and heartbreak that comes with dating and single mom life. All blog content © 2015 Ms. Cheevious aka Lisa Jey Davis
Lisa,
Well written post. No question people need to get comfortable with being by themselves. That said, miss guided expectations are undoubtedly responsible for most “disappointing” new years eve’s. There is something so insanely confidence building, reassuring and “zen” about being comfortable on your own. And it’s probably getting there that made me worthy of the girlfriend I have today.
Lisa, I agree – great post – you always to a great job.
As for the NYE hype, let me share a little bit. Back in 1993 (ouch, I’m dating myself)I was dating a dentist. My best friend was a guy I worked with named Kevin and he was single and date-less for NYE. A group of us were going out for a traditional ‘ring in the New Year’ at a massive outdoor party up here in the cold Albany NY, weather. It had a bunch of vendors, eating places and music so it wasn’t all about midnight. But I felt bad that he didn’t have a date. Of course, he was single because he was in love with me. Duh, but more about that later. I was too ‘blind’ to see it. Anyway, I hooked him up with my best friend Kate who he had met a couple of times. Kate was a perpetual single and wasn’t looking for a relationship. I just HAD to get them together for that almighty kiss at midnight. I don’t remember if they even kissed, at most it was a peck on the cheek. I was too busy kissing my dentist as the clock struck midnight making it 1/1/94.
Within a month, my blinders came off when Kevin walked me to my car and kissed me. Right then and there I saw WHO was in front of me and realized he was THE ONE. I immediately broke up with the dentist and started dating Kevin. In August 1994 we got engaged and then 15 months from that mis-guided NYE we got married in May 1995.
We’ve been kissing each other on every NYE since.
Kate on the other hand is still single and happy on her own. Ironically, Kate was my maid-of-honor at our wedding. LOL
Anyway, I agree there is a tremendous pressure to be with ‘someone’ on NYE. We should have left peer pressure behind in high school, but it seems like we (all of us) didn’t.
I say if you’re alone at a bar at midnight -kiss the person next to you (on the cheek at least, unless they’re really hot and then just go for it and let the chips fall where they may). Live life to the fullest. Take chances. Learn to love yourself.
You have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else and BELIEVE that THEY LOVE YOU.
i had a great NYE and it was with many guy friends and girlfriends not feeling like a missed out on anything!!!!! i would rather be single than in a disfunctional relationship! havin fun!!!
Lisa, good read… honest, direct… made me think of my very quiet and very comfortable NYE… keep writing… enjoyed the blog… g
Thanks everyone for your posts… And each one of the posts, I must say, makes me glad to know you! So glad to be surrounded by such intelligence and balance! Grainger – thanks for coming over and checking it out! And Tanya – you are my idol. xo
Oh – and Scott… thanks for your candor and honesty – it helps for women to see some guys here posting solid comments… so you and Grainger are the BOMB. xo
Kris – that is a GREAT story. I rest my case! HA HA
Well – a few things.
– Great post , as always
– too few people care to want to learn to love themselves.
– I remember the “thinking” on NYE and you pretty much nailed it
– I don’t know too many people who were truly HAPPY the next day
– marriage is not the scary, outdated state-of-being it is perpetrated to be these days and then you find the best person out there available – for you! however, MOST people are in too big of a hurry!
– I LOVE being married and thought the single life was quite stressful. Although, I must add, I certainly created my own upheaval back then.
I know this was about being single and touting it’s awesomeness, but I wanted to use this forum – yes YOUR forum (ha!) to toot my married horn!
Love you bunches!!!
25 years and he’s still my prince!
Maven – you can use my forum as your own any time. Didn’t mean to diss married life.. that’s for sure. I LOVED being married. I’m enjoying my single life right now for what it is… In the moment, as they say. And of course, I reserve the right to completely change my mind some day… if being single ever becomes a BORE.. HA!