Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

MsCheevious

This is when I need a belly lashing

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THIS IS WHEN I NEED A BELLY LASHING

 

#DailyMischief

 

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This morning I was minding my own business, telling clients to kill themselves during my Lagree Fitness-Style Pilates class…

Mind over matter, people! If you want to see change, you have to tell your body to keep going. You’ve got this! Keep breathing in, keep breathing out! Engage your core as you press that leg back! …

yada yada yada, etc, etc, etc…

And I say those things because – pfff! That drill sergeant shit always makes me work harder. Plus, I kinda like ordering people around, especially when I know they’ll thank me later. And I always know. It was a great moment to say the least… SMH (that means “shaking my head” in ridiculous text-ease), but I digress.

While I taught, I took off my top layer long-sleeved shirt, because MY GOD it’s 80 degrees here and I was sweating through my shirt without even working out (NO it wasn’t a hot flash. Don’t go there). Can you believe it though? I realize the rest of the country is in a deep freeze and I am damn lucky to have warm temps, but this was crazy. And no matter what the weather looks like outside, no one wants sweat marks on their clothes. So it was me, my workout bra top and my yoga pants traipsing around the studio barking out the next move.

By the way — did I tell you that I’ve always been pretty proud of my abs? Not just because I work hard, but even before I ever had kids… hell, even AFTER I had kids, my abs were always in pretty great shape. That’s because from a young age I always did tons of ab exercises.

I taught in my bra top for TWO straight hours before this… THIS happened:

After I sculpted the asses and abs of the Beverly Hills elite… after the studio was dark and I was packing up my things to leave, I glanced at myself in the mirror (the place is floor to ceiling mirrors, for goddsakes)… after all of that… what did I see?

Something I’ve never in my life seen on my body. A trace of CELLULITE on my ABS!

Pull out the laser printer, run this blog post through that printer and post this on the wall with big red letters on it saying,

ON THIS DAY IN 2014, MS. CHEEVIOUS HAD CELLULITE ON HER ABS

 

Talk about a motivator.

I immediately pointed this trace of cellulite out to M.C. Nugget when I got home. I pulled out the magnifying glass… and can you believe, he swore he didn’t see a thing? What a great guy!

As I sit here, carrot in mouth, thinking about ways to extract the food and wine from the past six weeks from my body FAST, my brain can’t seem to come up with anything other than liposuction. I may need some of those brain foods talked about in my LJD post here….  But any other ideas?

My solution is to reign in the diet and pump up the volume on the workouts. No more Mr. Nice Girl on my booty. I may think I’m cute sometimes, but I don’t care how you size it up – cellulite is never cute. This is WAR. This – of all times – is DEFINITELY when I need a belly lashing… and I’m here to deliver it, post haste.

Watch me and learn people. Watch and learn.

 

March 25, 2013 at 09:04PM
Arya Ziai / Foter.com / CC BY

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

Cat belly photo credit:

~Jetta Girl~ / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

 

Resolution idea: spell real words

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RESOLUTION IDEA: SPELL REAL WORDS

 

#DailyMischief

 

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That is all I ask, you guys. Is spelling out actual, real words too much to ask of people? My brain is really tired and doesn’t want to do all the freakin’ work any more, unkay? (Sarcasm and non-word use intentional, of course).

In all honesty, I’m sure you lovely people know how to spell beautifully. But the fact the Oxford English Dictionary recently decided that ♥, OMG and LOL were worthy of entries deserving etymology has me extremely distressed (don’t even get me started on their addition of “wassup”).

Really Oxford? How does one parse out the etymology of ♥? I thought you were on our side! You remember… the side that wants our kids to actually learn the meanings of full-length words, how to S-P-E-L-L them, and to actually use them in written communication?

I guess that aspiration went the way of Twitter, because you know what they say — the average shelf life of a tweet is only about 90 seconds.

So, it’s all over. I give up. I’m going the way of the Oxford English Dictionary.

So PLZ get outta my grillz n dont tell me wassup, cuz OMG… u n ur rules are like, whatevs… u know? 

 

omg (365-286)

 

Or maybe not.

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

 

dictionary photo credit:
jDevaun / Foter.com / CC BY-ND

OMG photo credit:
** RCB ** / Foter.com / CC BY

Here comes Jabba Claus

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HERE COMES JABBA CLAUS

#DailyMischief

 

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When M.C. Nugget and I first started dating, one of the key factors in solidifying our destiny as a couple was our mutual affinity for Jabba the Hutt (from Star Wars). We see Jabba as a chubby fatso who can eat anything (and as much as he wants) and not care, because dieting is most definitely not going to make him look good. Nothing can. We totally get it.

We also have a mutual love (or sickness, depending on how you look at it) for impersonating funny or quirky creatures and characters. I do a mean Jabba. I know where I got this weird trait – it runs in my nutty family. We’re all drama queens (and kings) and will put on a show for no good reason at the drop of a hat. I cannot speak for Nuggie. He’s an actor (maybe that is speaking for him).

Although I vowed to eat healthy during the holidays (which I’m doing extremely well at it, I might add), I did not promise to prepare healthy holiday foods for others. I have my limits. Everyone else is on their own. I can only see my healthy ideas and tips defaced and ignored before my eyes so many times, before I give up and begin to daydream of shoving the fudge and cookies into the mouth of the next person to explain why they aren’t making healthy choices… it can be discouraging.

The other side of the coin is that I too love my yummy treats and decadent foods. I am something of a cook savant in that I can eat something fabulous at a restaurant and recreate it with some good success on my own. This doesn’t always make for healthy dining, which is why I am on a healthy eating binge this holiday season. But it was a helluva good (or bad) eating run over the past six months.

But enough about ME! This is the Holidays! It’s Christmas! So in the spirit of Christmas, and in the spiriting of giving —

I went ballistic and baked the following decadent treats for two days straight: White, Milk and Dark Chocolate Fudge with Walnuts, Chocolate Chunk Cookies with both Cadbury Dairy Milk & Dove Milk Chocolate bar chunks (literally — the full squares are my chocolate chips) and walnuts, and Russian Tea Cakes (snowball shaped cookies full of butter, walnuts and powdered sugar).

Yumminess at Christmas

Yumminess Closeup Christmas Yumminess AGAIN

 

Nuggie posted a DailyNugget earlier this week with all of the ingredients I used for this endeavor, to which someone said something like this on Facebook, “Hey Lisa, I seem to recall a post about your eating healthy these Holidays.”

You, my dear commenter are correct. I’m remaining healthy while I Jabba-up the rest of the world.  Look out. Cuz here comes Jabba Claus.

Oh...Oh...Ohhh...

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy whatever you celebrate. Peace out.

No really — Peace, people.

PS) I have reserves, just in case…

Reserve Yumminess

 

While you’re at it, read my new article on the Huffington Post:

“Girls Night: Tips for Responsible and Healthy Holiday Imbibing“

about being responsible while you drink these holidays http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-jey-davis/girls-night-tips-for-resp_b_4470696.html:

Xmas Cocktail: Snowball

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

 

cocktail photo credit:

Chuckumentary / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

 

 

Back in the day when I ate that…

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BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I ATE THAT…

 

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Did I tell you about how I ate too much of the wrong foods over Thanksgiving and then I did it again while I was on location with M.C. Nugget (while he was in a film)? I’m sorry that I don’t recall telling you guys. I’ve said it so much lately and lord knows I’ve kvetched about it somewhere  on cyberspace. So it’s most definitely OUT THERE. I’m just not sure where it is out there, because my GOD, I blog and write and tweet and post until my fingers move continuously and automatically… as if by rote. I’ve decided it’s pointless to try to keep track. Speaking of which… the fact my fingers seemingly work by rote to get my online work done is the polar opposite of what happened that other time. Remember? When my rote memory short-circuited and I went to the bathroom and almost forgot to pull down my panties? My fingers working like that are a small miracle.

Okay – now I’m tired. What was I saying, by the way?

Oh yes. I ate so much and so badly over Thanksgiving and during my time in Tucson with Nuggie — I feasted for about two months — that I decided my time in Massachusetts visiting Nuggie’s family would be a good time to get a head start on all that New Year’s health and fitness resolution mumbo-jumbo.

Can someone please take a look inside my ears and tell me if there are tiny midget aliens residing in my skull? Because I don’t know what possessed me to do this. THIS during my beloved baking, candies, egg nog, cakes, pies and – well – yumminess season. Don’t I know myself by now? I love vodka. I love chocolate. I love anything with powdered sugar, cheese, nuts… okay anything at all. But THIS:

bûche de noël in a chocolate cage

YUM.

And… enough with the shenanigans-of-an-article. I’m actually doing quite well on my quest for health during the month of death-food, thank you very much.

The other day, I was feeling proud of myself and sarcastically said to Nuggie’s brother, I don’t need any of that bread. Back in the day when I ate that… (you know… way back last week)…  I had enough of it then.

Enough said.

Have a fun holiday. Have a healthy holiday… and don’t drink irresponsibly, so that people think you’re a drunk. Here’s a link to my vlog about THAT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCd5Z3zLqzk

 

photo credit:
distopiandreamgirl / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

It doesn’t get much better than this

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IT DOESN’T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THIS

 

#DailyNugget

 

Fresh snow, empty ski area. It’s the stuff dreams are made of.

Stuff dreams are made of

 

~ The Nugget

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.