Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

Anti-stress

I Am On FIRE!

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So, the date was December 19, 2009. M.C. and I hosted a little holiday party at my place. It was awesome. People came and went. A couple of my clients stopped by, as well as some family… It was the usual holiday get-together.  That is, until about 2:00 am.

That’s when all that remained were me, M.C. and a couple of our friends who decided to stick around and gab. At one point we decided to start taking photos to remember the evening.

I was the first designated photographer (and last – you’ll see why in a second). I moved in to get a great shot, and leaned over to get an even  “better” angle of the three of them.  I didn’t realize I was dangerously close to a taper candle M.C. lit earlier that evening.

My girlfriend gasped and said, “Lisa! Your hair’s, on fire!” I shrugged it off and patted it out… or so I thought, until she continued, “No! It’s REALLY on fire!”

Just then M.C. took two very large strides in my direction and somehow patted the flames out — VERY quickly.  (Actually all of that happened in a matter of seconds).

That was it for the photo session!  I ran to my bathroom to observe the damage, and believe it or not, there was NO VISIBLE DAMAGE?  I am NOT kidding!  That’s what I get for accommodating my friends and being the designated photog!  Ha!

The only thing I can think of which may have prevented my hair from going “POOF!” and literally bursting into flames, however, is that I’d been using a new hair product for a while (that day and evening included). It was a heat protector to be used prior to flat-ironing your hair.  I’d been in search of something like it for years, and when I found it a few months back, I immediately began to use it.  It protects your hair up to 475 degrees, Fahrenheit.  So – I am thinking it had to have some sort of FLAME RETARDANT in the mix!  Ha ha!  Is that CRAZY or WHAT? 

So, here is a picture of me with some super imposed flames on my hair.  I never got any pictures of myself that evening… as I mentioned!  By the time we got around to taking photos, my hair burst into flames!  HA HA! 

I’m told this is how big the flame was (or at least this is how I imagined it based on the saucer-sized eye balls my girlfriend had)!!

What’s funny is that about a week later, my girlfriend called me up to tell me that I must have angels around me, because my whole head of hair was engulfed in flames, and there was NO damage.  We were laughing about it.  I told her about my little product, which, of course, she asked me to pick up for her the next time I saw it. 

Fast forward to this past Wednesday.  She was back at my house, prior to an event I was taking her to (she is also a client of mine).  It was the People’s Choice Awards Post Celebration Party Benefiting Britticares (for kids with cancer).  Long story short, I was still finishing up my “flat-iron” routine when she arrived, so she chatted with me while I finished up.  My “product” was sitting on the counter, and I held it up to her.  And I swear, it was the FIRST time I’d actually paid any attention to the name, but it was called “GUARDIAN ANGEL.”  I kid you NOT.  Pretty funny!  We CRACKED UP at the fact that not only did I have angels around me, but I also had a GUARDIAN ANGEL – in a BOTTLE!  Ha! 

And – of course, without further adieu – here it is, my friends. My “Guardian Angel”:

Be sure to click this link and buy it now (shameless plug, I know).

So – we laughed and went off to enjoy a fabulous night at the People’s Choice Awards Post Celebration.  It was a fantastic event, and my girl and another celebrity friend were photographed, interviewed, hit up for autographs – the whole shebang (sp?). 

Whew!  I’m SOOO glad I can take that one off the list! I now know what it’s like to be ON FIRE.

Have a fantastic weekend you marvelously gorgeous humans! 

Love you people!  Mmmmmmppphhuuuhhhhhh!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Long Live the Rabbit

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Welcome to Ms. Cheevious-land, where some posts are more “Ms. Cheevious” than others…  Some can even be downright offensive…  This could be one of those.

Particularly if you are a member of my family.  But know this: you have been warned.  And I’m NOT kidding.

And to you females out there, just remember: don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.

So here goes!

List of electronic devices that give pleasure:

1)      The Television

2)      The iPod

3)      The Computer (for some)

4)      The Massage Chair, and

5)      The Rabbit (if you do not know what a Rabbit is, now is the time to stop reading).

Four out of five of these devices utilize quality control personnel in the development process. That is, people who test the device before it goes to market, to be sure it is

a) truly meeting the customer’s need,

b) functioning properly,

c) achieving the customer’s desired goal(s), and

d) is durable and built to last for a reasonable amount of time.

I have to say I am reasonably satisfied with the first four electronic devices on the list. But what, might I ask, happened to number 5?

For GODSAKES PEOPLE, don’t the makers of these devices know that if they actually made Rabbits according to the criteria above, their sales would skyrocket, PMS would become the stuff of legends, and the term “bitch” would actually be used to refer only to female dogs.  And besides, we all know that when women are happy, the whole world rejoices.

Just think about.  A Rabbit should

a) help women see the face of god quicker, reach nirvana, or fill in the blank;

b) do what it is suppose to do based on the features on the box;

c) provide that “pleasure” (see “devices that give pleasure” list above) in the absence of a man, in the presence of a boring man, or during football season (hey I’m not only thinking of myself here); and

d) be durable… REALLY DURABLE… and last for a reasonable amount of time.

What is a “reasonable amount of time”, you might ask?  Twenty minutes about four times a week for at least three years.  I think that’s fair.

But no.  Apparently there are no test marketers for vibrators, at least from what I can tell.  And so, with great personal sacrifice, I am now dedicating my life to ensuring that quality, durability, and product satisfaction go hand-in-hand with the mighty Rabbit… and when they build the monument to me, let them say “She did it not for herself, nor for the battery companies, but for her sisters around the world and the men they stopped annoying.”

Yes, I will spend the rest of my days testing these devices, and ensuring world peace.

As you hum my theme song, please feel free to provide your list of demands, and I will take them into consideration while conducting my research. 

Long Live the Rabbit!

Love you people!  Mmmmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Million Dollar Diva

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Okay – so I went to my favorite nail salon in Santa Monica last Saturday. It’s called Main Attraction and it’s located along Main Street nestled among all the other cute shops, bistros and boutiques.

I walked in for a much needed mani/pedi, and immediately heard a familiar voice. It took me a while to figure it out, but just a few feet away from me sat Patti Stanger of the Bravo TV show, Millionaire Matchmaker.  The premise of the show is that Patti owns and operates a high profile dating service, where she introduces successful bachelors to their supposed “dream girl.” 

pattistanger
This is a GOOD picture of Patti.

Anyone who’s watched the show knows what I’m talking about when I say that Patti has a distinct voice, with a very – um – distinct – to put it nicely – personality.  This is no surprise.  In fact, I am sure part of the reason that she has her own show is because of her demanding, whining, and in-your-face antics, and subsequently, the drama she creates in her own life and business. And she really does do this in real life, people!  I am witness to the fact that her diva – bitchy antics are NOT a performance for the cameras.

It’s all about the drama, believe me.  Watch reality tv much?  Those tv producers eat it up, because the public eats it up.  Kinda sad.

Kinda.

And with that, my lovely boys and girls, I’m here to say that I, Ms. Cheevious, am not one to disappoint! I’ve got some drama to report on Ms. Stanger that I just know you’ll eat up! And I can’t wait for the new readers to poor in as a result!  Hey – I have “ratings” too, even if they are Internet ratings. 

If you are new here – hellOOOOOO there dahling! We’ve been waiting for you!  Well, sort of.  Okay, not at all, but geez it sure seems like it!  We’re glad to have you, nonetheless! 

Something you will notice in my posts is that most everyone here has an “alias” – that is, an alter ego or an “a.k.a” persona so that their true identities remain classified and protected.  This way, I can serve up the really juicy stuff without embarrassing my peeps. 

BUT (and you knew there would be a but) as I said in an earlier post “Goose Hunting on the Farm,”

‘if you are famous and carrying on in public, and if I see you, or happen to have some interaction, then guess what?  You don’t get an alias or protected identity here.  Your real name will be used, because hey – otherwise, why would people read this blasted thing?’

So there you have it! 

And my friends, Ms. Stanger is about to be sold out. Exposed. Undressed (not! ewwww) and well – okay – truth be told, she’s pretty much just getting validation for her already WHINY, ANNOYING television  (which is also her real life) personality. 

So, back to my story. 

The folks at the Main Attraction nail spa are lovely people.  They provide a manicure and spa (massage chair) pedicure for $18.00.  That’s just EIGHTEEN BUCKS to scrub and slough off the dead skin from your (and I mean “your” in the nicest general sense, I swear) stinky, flaky and god-knows-what-kind-of-disease-ridden feet.  Not to mention clipping, filing, polishing and making those pudgy little toes look sort of normal and cute.  Then they put a second person there to take care of your nails at the same time, so you don’t have to wait.  Think this is normal?  Should we expect this?  Try getting the same service at the same price in Aspen, Colorado, or Grand Junction, Glenwood Springs, Denver, Albuquerque, or countless other places in this country, for that matter!  These people work all day long, for about ten to twelve hours a day.  They are Asian, which means it is part of their culture to be polite and proper.  True, they may be cursing you in Vietnamese or their mother tongue (especially if you are rude and arrogant), but they smile all the while, and hey – ignorance is bliss – un-kay?

So, anyway, I was JUST about to do the unthinkable and walk over to the DIVA, because I figured we sort of have some similarities in the way we present ourselves.  I know, she is whiny and demanding (not at all like me) – willing to do anything to be successful in business (again, not at all like me).  But I admit, I am a shameless attention-monger who loves to tell stories and isn’t afraid of divulging some of the more private parts of my life, as long as it involves getting a good laugh.

So, my first thought was, ‘We are both a little edgy, and probably a little misunderstood.  I’ll just mosey on over and tell her I’ve seen her show, and liked it.”

But then I thought differently, (and now I’m so glad I did), because I realized there was a good chance – given Ms. Diva’s persona – that I’d be greeted with cold, harsh arrogance.  And it was Saturday.  I wasn’t in the mood for cold, harsh arrogance. 

Then she did it.  Not once – but twice.  She went all DIVA up in my face, and in the faces of all the hard-working people at the salon, not to mention the clientele.

In the first incident, she frantically yelled out across the salon (while we innocent bystanders were trying to enjoy a peaceful, leisurely experience) in her hysterical, high pitched voice – for all to hear, “Excuse me!  Excuse me!  EXCUSE ME!!!  What’s his name? What’s his NAME?” motioning to the guy who runs the salon. 

The guy came over to assist her and she insisted loudly, “Didn’t I ask for extensions?” as she held her fingers up – spread eagle in the air for him to see.  Then she wagged one of her fingers. I knew right away that she wanted them to lengthen just one of her nails. I’d had it done once before.

“Oh, that’s right,” the manager said, and he proceeded to direct the technician accordingly.

Millionaire DIVA rolled her eyes in the size and circumference of a basketball and said in her nasally voice, “WHYYYY do we ALWAYS go THROUGH this? Isn’t there SOME way I don’t have to go through this Every – Single – TIME?” 

The manager started to answer, and as if to trump anything he had to say, she interrupted, squealing threateningly, “I TRIED to tell him what I wanted, and HE. ARGUED. WITH. ME!”

I’m not sure what came of that first situation.  I’m sorry.  I think I blacked out, but in all fairness, I was pretty busy saying my ohm’s and practicing my deep breathing exercises, trying to forget she was there.  As it was, she already stood a good chance of either completely ruining my day, or at least making the salon workers so flustered, it would certainly ruin THEIR day!  Not to mention the fact that there wouldn’t be a good manicure or pedicure to be had in the place. Everyone would be so nervous, there’d be red nail polish running amuk on my toes.  Things were looking pretty grim.

But it seemed to settle for a bit after that.  I sent out a few Tweets about the girl’s DIVA antics, texted a few of my peeps, who proceeded to call and dish with me about it, and settled into my massage chair. I actually thought maybe she’d left, when the second incident occurred.  My eyes were closed and rolled back into my head during an ultra relaxing shiatsu chair massage, when the bliss was shattered. 

She screeched, “EXCUSE ME!” and about six spa staff members came running to her. “Excuse me!”

“She just HIT me.” she said motioning to – believe it or not – another CUSTOMER!!!

“I was walking! And she RAN into my FINGER!” she shouted at the manager.

It was obvious to me what had happened.  She’d apparently gotten up clumsily from her chair (she is no small figure), collided with the lady, and – you guessed it – ran right into the woman’s bag with her newly “extended” finger nail.  Then she proceeded to scream at the staff for all to hear, as if somehow they hadn’t protected her from her own clumsiness.

I felt so bad for the folks at Main Attraction.  Here was this woman with a bit of notariety, and I’m sure they wanted to make a good impression, but there was no pleasing her.  She was a cancer!  A bad seed!  Rosemary’s baby! Ha!

After I was done, I was taken to sit in an area where everyone dries their nails – and there she was.  She had two people with her, I think, and everything was all about her.  Have you ever been around a TRUE BITCHY DIVA?  It is ALWAYS about them.  They have no awareness that anyone else could possibly have needs.  And even if they do, everyone else’s needs certainly don’t outweigh the DIVA’s.

As I sat their getting her negativity and bad energy crammed into my personal space, and as she jumped from one topic to about twenty within one sentence, I decided she just had to be on something – like CRACK.  After all, how could anyone embarrass themself so much and be so utterly unaware? 

Well – I guess they can. 

I gotta’ tell ya.  In the end, it didn’t really ruin my day.  I decided that I was extremely fortunate to be in that place at that time.  That stuff hardly ever just happens!  These situations never just come into my life!  I’m telling you!  You can’t make that sh*t up! But it did happen, and it happened while I was there!  And thank GOD. How else would I be able to serve up this great little dish?  This potentially horrible day at the salon turned into a very good fortune for me.  So, as usual people, I was given lemons, and made lemonade! HA!

I did go up to the manager of the salon and tell him I was going to write about this, and that there was no excuse for her actions.  He thanked me and said, “you know, people with that kind of bad energy just won’t go very far or live very long.”

And that’s it for now my beauties!  Tune in next week.  I’m sure something juicy will land square in the center of my lap again, and you KNOW I will share it with you.

Have a fabulously sunny weekend everyone!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

On Thinking Big & Making Things Happen

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Anyone who knows me or reads my blog regularly, knows that I refuse to listen to the crazy voices.

I know, I know.  I do have some crazy voices in my head, it’s true.  We’ve all seen what they can do.

crazygirl

If you are new here, I’m so very sorry…

Sorry it’s taken you so long to find us, that is (bah-dah-bum).

Seriously, though, we are FUN. Not only that, we are smart, witty, and we have lots to say.  And by we, of course, I mean me.  I AM the Queen after all, and working my HRH, group-speak on ya’ll.

Well, sometimes I think I am a group. Trust me – or — well —- trust us.  We’ve got a LOT going on with all these voices in our head.

But I digress.

I’m actually speaking of the crazy voices out THERE.  Out there in the ether – in the universe – swirling around us, in the background, in our faces, in our ears, all around us – telling us to WORRY – to be AFRAID – to be DEPRESSED – to “hold on to our money, because everything is going to hell in a hand basket” (wow! where’d that one come from?  I just pulled that one outta nowhere)!

I refuse to allow those voices (about how the economy “sucks,” the job market “sucks,” the housing market “sucks,” and how people “just aren’t spending”) to influence me.  I just will not participate.   You want to know how to do that don’t you?

Keep reading, slick.

Are you thinking that you might lose your job if you aren’t careful?  Well, STOP thinking that, ya big dope! DO a GOOD JOB and make yourself invaluable! That’s all you can do.

Are you feeling bad for friends and family because they are suffering financially, and depressed?  SO, STOP FEELING BAD!

How about if you and your kids go over and clean up your friend’s or family’s house or do their laundry?  Or maybe even bake them some cookies.  It won’t pay their electric bill, but it will lift their spirits, and put them in a better mental position to pick themselves back up!

It will also help your kids learn a valuable lesson about taking care of the people in their community or inner circle.

If you don’t have kids, borrow someone’s.  God knows most kids out there could use an influential experience like that.

I tell ya, a kind gesture (dinner and a bottle of wine at your house – especially at a time when you may not be positive of your own future) goes a LOOOONG way.  Way more than feeling badly for them, and creating the potential for it to bring you down in the process.

You’ve heard the axiom used many times before, in many ways:

Worry begets worry.

Fear begets fear.

Sadness begets sadness.

Well, guess what?  It works the other way too:

Money begets money.

Laughter begets laughter.

Positive Energy begets positive energy.

Work begets work.

You get the idea.

Many of you know that I own a business.  I recently dealt with a client undergoing serious cut-backs.  This caused me to have to cut back as well.  It’s the nature of the beast (cut-backs beget cut-backs, I suppose).

In spite of it all, however, I refused to believe that all was lost, everything was over, and now I’d become just one more cog in the wheel of this juggernaut of a bad economy.  And I still don’t believe it.  Not one iota of it.  Not only do I not believe it – I don’t act like it’s true. Quite the contrary, actually.

That doesn’t mean I blindly flounce around, spending money as if the same amounts of money magically appear into my bank account every day, just as they did in the past.  I’m not THAT whacky.  You’ve got to be intelligent, think ahead, and spend accordingly. That’s always true.

And I’m also not saying it’s just simple and easy-breezy for me to remain positive and act accordingly.  It’s been a tough road lately – that is for sure.  The negative voices are so very loud.

But when people ask how things are, the truth is – and I tell them: “They are FANTASTIC. I love what I do, and I am still doing it! I am so lucky!”

And I have never doubted the unwavering fact that I am GOOD at what I do, and there are hundreds — no — thousands of people and businesses out there just waiting for a business like mine to come along and make their businesses and careers ROCK.  It is only a matter of time before we find each other.

Then today something happened to only further solidify my resolve.  I got the call about a new account.  One that will make me very busy, and has potential for much more.  This, on top of many other things that are spinning and fermenting, and just about ready to — POP!!  Did I mix metaphors there?

The point is, these are GOOD things, people!

Don’t you see?  It’s that whole thing – “You are what you think.”  If you think you will fail, then you already have.  If you really truly think, and believe, and cannot be convinced otherwise – that you have it in you to be BIG and make things happen, then that wheel has already started rolling, babe.  It’s only a matter of time before that seed starts to grow.  It’s also a matter of you intending it to happen and staying focused on it.  That’s what yogi’s mean when they speak of their “intentions.”  It’s not some plan they are secretly plotting and devising.  “Intentions” really means what they elude to – when used by you or me, or anyone else, it is what we INTEND to happen.

So INTEND some great things your way, would you?  Stay focused.  Like a Bulldog, baby.  Don’t let ANYONE or ANYTHING deter you. Get one wheel rolling first.

Then get lots of wheels rolling.  Great big things will start to happen for you!

I’ve soooo got to run now peeps!  I’ve got clients to take care of, interviews to book, and all kinds of things steam rolling their way into my life.  Tune in next week!  I’ll dish on some fantastic Hollywood events and gatherings I’m attending!

Love you people! Mmmmmppphhuuuhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

A Woman’s Needs

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Hellooooo all my fabulous friends out there in Ms. Cheevious-land! 

A good friend sent the following list of women’s needs to me, and I agree with just about every single thing on this list – well, poem.  It’s written by Maya Angelou, an accomplished writer, a woman with a doctorate degree (cool), who’s traveled and lived all over the world. She is quite an amazing single mom (at least at one time in her life she was).  So – I’ve included her little admonishment to women here, and in RED is my commentary.  Is that sacrilegious? Tough.  You need to hear what I have to say. HA!

If you are new here – well, FINALLY!  You’ve come to your senses!  ha ha.  JUST KIDDING! (kinda)

We have fun here, and this weekly (or sometimes bi-weekly, or whenever my travels and computer problems allow for it) blog is an extension of my book Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood – Confessions of a Hot Mamma, (need I say “AWARD WINNING”?) which is unpublished at this point – but I’m working on it.  You can read about it here. But welcome to the Ms. Cheevious blog, and a whole new world!  Enjoy!

So on to the poem, and my wise – ehem – wise-ass commentary:

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
enough money within her control to move out 
and rent a place of her own, 
even if she never wants to or needs to… 

HELLOOOO… these days she better have enough in her coffers to BUY a place of her own for cash, and then be able to RENT it back to the bastard – um, guy – that was holding her back!  HA! (Not YOU, honey!!)

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

something perfect to wear if the employer, 
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour… 

For the boss – how about a giant COFFEE MUG or just come dressed as a pen for taking notes on all of his wise words.  If he is at all lecherous, just see the notes below for dates, because let’s face it – that’s what he really wants.  
For dates – will a bustier or a tu-tu do?  Come on!  Since when do we know when someone is REALLY the date of our dreams?  Aren’t they ALL?  And in that case, wouldn’t we need like seven different outfits?  One for every night? 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. 
a youth she’s content to leave behind…. 

Hmmm.  I’ve had a pretty good youth – but that’s all relative.  I’m still young aren’t I?  If you are twenty, repeat after me: “yes ma’am”.  But at this very young age of mine, I don’t know whether to agree, or completely rise up in protest, take off all my clothes and run down the beach nekked.  Heck, you only live once, right? HA

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to 
retelling it in her old age…. 

‘Nuff said. (smile)

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….. 
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra… … a “Rabbit” (heh heh), and what’s this about LACE?  I hate it.  Itchy.  Nope.  Not doin’ it.  Hot lingerie? Yes.  But a good set of wine or martini glasses (or both), and always something healthy to eat (like carrots or cucumbers) in the fridge – now THAT’S practical.
 
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. 
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry… 

Check! 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. 
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family… 

how about a 50 inch flat screen plasma tv? 
 
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, 
and a recipe for a meal, 
that will make her guests feel honored… 

Wait – covered that above… and I just memorize all my good recipes …  yummmmmm… So I guess a woman should have a good memory for good recipes? So what we’re sayin’ here is women need to be super human.  Right?
 
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
a feeling of control over her destiny… 

Well – DUHHHH

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… 
how to fall in love without losing herself.. 

AMEN SISTER
 
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… 
how to quit a job, 
break up with a lover, 
and confront a friend without; 
ruining the friendship… 

Ooh. Tough call. Sometimes you want to ruin the friendship…. NOT.   What kind of craziness is this???  OF COURSE ya need to know how to do those things – but let’s be REAL.  Who really DOES know how?  That’s why you read my BLOG people!  🙂

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY… 

got that one DOWN.  Don’t we all, you hot lovely women out there?

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.. 

Ohhhh, but I can try can’t I? My mom needs to wise up and just ADMIT I am her favorite!  HA!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over… 
whaaahhh?? over?  What are you tryin’ to tell me here?

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

now that’s interesting.  I’m pretty much a “do anything” kinda gal… ha ha

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

i like it, i like it!  but i may not want it forever… may need someone to pick me up off the floor if i ever fall and hurt my hip!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally… 

… NEWS FLASH – it IS personal!  Someone breaks trust, it is a complete afront to ME – personally.  That’s how I learn NOT to trust them again! MMM-KAY?

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table… 
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing… 

… can you say DAY SPA?  Cucumber facial, mud bath, and a glass of champagne… ahhhhh.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

NOTHING my pretties.  I can do it ALL.

Well – that’s it for ya!  I am off to a weekend in Palm Springs with my man, M.C. Nugget.  Ain’t life grand, people?  Have a wonderfully exotic and excruciatingly fabulous weekend boys and girls!

Tune in next week, when I tell you exactly Why Denis Leary Sucks!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmmppppphhhhuuuhhhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Have a Heart

by

In spite of (ehem), I mean, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m posting a little something for my single peeps out there.  Yes, I too am succumbing to the pressures of commercialization and writing blogs based on what’s hot. 

Have a heart, though.  I have to do it.  It really IS Valentine’s Day weekend coming up.  Can you blame me?  But since most of my readers tend to be Ms. Cheevious proteges, ascribing to my personal mantra: Enjoying Every Moment – I am posting something for them.  It’s a little something I wrote last year for Be Three – a website for hot, hip, and healthy chicks. My piece was called “Solo Girl’s V-Day Survival Kit.” The wonderful folks at Be Three didn’t post my piece as it was written (they edited it to suit their girls) – and that was their prerogative. So I’m giving you guys the unedited, unabridged, XXX rated version. 

HA!  Just kidding. 

Here’s to YOU – all of you incredible, single, lovely girls (and boys, of course).  If you are new here, welcome!  We are so glad to see you!  And, if you aren’t single, share this with your single friends.  They’ll get a kick out of it! 

I dare any one of you people who are flying solo this weekend to take me up on these survival tips:

Single Girl’s V-Day Survival Kit

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Sigh.  It’s not that you’re anti-romance.  It’s that you’re one of 89 million Americans who aren’t “coupled up” this year. Tired of seeing cheesy expressions of love plastered on every form of media known to man? Afraid you might launch into a wild, frenzied attack on the Hallmark shop lady? Stop yourself.  Try these bold alternatives and keep your pink, candy-hearted butt from going to jail:

·         Host an Un-Valentine’s Day Party:  Leave it open to all singles. Themes like As Single as I Wanna’ Be (about the bliss of single life), or I’d Rather Be Single Than with My Ex (an ex-orcising party) will change your opinion of “Love-Day” for good!

·         Eat a TON of Chocolate.  I’m not kidding.  A TON. Test all the theories about chocolate’s health benefits.  Begin eating at 9 AM and don’t stop ‘til 9 PM. Video tape everything. If you come out alive, post your video on YouTube, and proclaim once and for all that SEX really IS better than chocolate. Everyone will applaud your “no guts, no glory” approach, and you’ll get your 15 minutes of fame. Especially if you video tape the sex part (ha ha!)

·         Get out! Take your single friends to all the dating hot spots.  Smile broadly and toast the freedoms of being single in front of all those ball-n-chainers! You’ve always said you don’t have a chance in hell of meeting the perfect guy anyway.  It’s good to be proven right. You’ll also prove to yourself that you’re fine just as you are!

The end result? Pure satisfaction at being “un-coupled” and a deeper appreciation for freedom and friendship.

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Have a FABULOUSLY FREE weekend everyone! 

Love you people!  Mmmmmphhhuuhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious