Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

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Delinquent Ms. Cheevious

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Not only am I delinquent in getting my post to you, (I am SORRY!), but it’s not going to be very funny today.  Again, I am sorry.

I am knee deep in moving men, cable guys (first, the Time Warner Cable guy, now the Direct TV guy, since we discovered the cable wiring in our building is archaic), handy men, flooring guys and college kids (my helpers).  Oh my GOD!  I just realized! If that isn’t a dream come true for some of you, I don’t know what is!

I’m finally here in Los Angeles.  I have much to tell you – I’ve not forgotten that I promised to dish on Random Esquire.  I also have a little ditty to tell you about my upcoming appearance on Entertainment Tonight!  I told the story to a good friend and client who said, “You’ve already opened up a world of opportunities, and you’ve only been there a day!”  I guess he was right, but I gotta’ tell ya’ – it’s not for any of my own pursuits, and won’t benefit them either.  It was a favor to a friend (more on that later).  Plus, it’s exhausting! I am in the middle of my move where I should be focused, and my friend pulls me away to do this.  Well – I am off.  

Please forgive me for the cliff-hanger, though it lacks the sizzle it so rightly deserves!  I’ll dish for you next week – and it’ll be GOOD.

xoxo, 

Ms. Cheevious

 

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Blog content copyright 2008, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Girlfriends Gone Wild

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Please tell me: What is this fascination with girls being stupid, getting drunk (or not) and showing their tah-tahs, booties and other body parts on camera?  WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL GUYS (or girls)?

I tell ya’, I speak from experience when I say that getting a girl to be slightly voyeuristic is no major Coup d’etat!  Especially if she’s just a tiny bit adventurous!   So, what is it that makes people – or should I say Americans – frenzied over this supposedly “major” feat when a gal bares all?

Whatever happened to the allure of the mysterious woman?  The sexiness of anticipation? Isn’t it true that once a girl crosses that threshold – the “I’m willing to flash the camera” threshold –  there is nothing left to the imagination?  Not only that, once she does it, is there anything left for the girl in question to explore, once her life and body is displayed across the eternity of the Internet?!

I think (and I stress the “I,” because this IS my blog after all, and what I think matters – HA!) that maintaining one’s dignity, razor sharp intelligence, edgy sense of humor and natural beauty while still managing to dance on the side of “naughty” once in a while – THAT’S the essence of TRUE WILD and SEXINESS.  You know what I mean?  Oh sure, there are some guys out there that LOVE to see  non-stripper, girl-next-door types take it all off with reckless abandon, and craziness. And, I even admit that acting out with reckless abandon now and then is extremely liberating.  HA!  I love it!  But, while I think it is fun and exciting at times, I know that maintaining control and a little mystery keeps men (or women?) that we really want to attract guessing or somewhat intrigued, and wanting more. What do you think?

Listen people:  My girlfriends are proof positive that there are plenty of ways to go wild without flapping or bouncing their boobies in front of a camera lens!  It takes some creativity.  Hell, it takes some intelligence, but we are all pretty bright here, right?  I know you must be, since you are here, reading this.  heh heh. 

I remember it well:  The time my girlfriend Sheila and I found ourselves smack dab in the middle of a bachelor party.  We’d just walked into the hottest night spot (at the time) in LA, and as we rounded the bend to the bar, were confronted by a group of young, hot guys.  I won’t go into any details here because my girlfriend may get upset for sharing too much, but lets just say that ONE of us ended up going back to the hotel room booked by the bachelor party and making out with a very young little boy – of, say, about 21 years old.  We were 37.  It was so much fun, and really great to be seen as hot by those guys, I have to admit!  How much fun is that? 

Hey.  I liked the attention. I know she did too.  So sue us.  We got a little wild, we had fun, and we have great stories to tell as a result!

We were actually kinda bummed out for those young boys who were celebrating their friend’s upcoming marriage at such a young age.  ‘Go to college!’ I found myself thinking, ‘Get a real job and a real life before you get married!’  Ah well, I am a mom too.  I just can’t help myself.  They were just soooo young, ya know?

Then there was the time I was in New York visiting one of my best friends, who I can’t name here, because she could lose her job.  Let’s just say that she works for one of the most fair and balanced news outlets in the country.  HA!  Anyhow, it had been a rough week for my girlfriend, so we went out one night, and met up with a few of my other girl friends.  We started out drinking martinis at Koi on the upper west side.  By the time our last girlfriend met us there, we’d closed the place down, been asked to move tables a few times to accommodate the next wave of clients, and were painting each other with temporary body tattoos.  Yep.  You read that right.  Body Tattoos. How cool is that?  Sexy too, I might add.

Then there was that one night featuring moi and my friend Kat.  My girlfriend Kat loves to cook.  She’s incredible too.  She and I got together one night to cook at my place.  We’d had vodka martinis all night, smoked cigarettes even, and then decided to start posing together for the camera.  I don’t even smoke, just to give you an idea of the inhibitions that were thrown out the window that night.  The result? Some pretty messed up girls making fools of themselves without ever taking their clothes off in front of the camera (or did we?? HA!  Just had to make you guess!) or getting behind any wheel of any car.  Imagine that.

Some of the memories I have from a few wild days and nights are shown below in my gallery.  You can click on any image to see it larger.  Let me know what you think!  I even stepped outside the box, when it comes to “WILD.”

 

The fact of the matter is that I am so sick of females being stupid, and rising to the lowest standard.  Do you think it’s because they want to be accepted?  Or do they want to be perceived as being hip and cool?  I’m confused.  I know some pretty incredibly cool people.  I know celebrities and very wealthy people and, even though Paris and Britany make fools of themselves, these people I know are SMARTER than that, and their happiness, success and allure is a testament to that. 

Somehow someone started thinking it was cool to be uninhibited at ALL times.  I’m all for being uninhibited.  My friends will tell you I am one of the more daring girls they know.  It’s all about context, and knowing when it is not okay.  So many people out there make US – WE WOMEN – seem less valuable and less cherish-able or less worthy of adoration by giving every single part of themselves away.  YOU – my lovely, incredible, bright shining light of a person – are the only one who can insure that people see just how radiant you truly are.

So here’s to BEING WILD at times.  Here’s to being CRAZY and FUN and SEXY.  Go for it!  Just remember that you are BEAUTIFUL on the inside, and ought to display that for all to see.  Here’s to you!  Go WILD, why don’tcha!

xxxooo

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You Are Hot – The Results

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After a significant analysis of the inputs given, the results (though, unscientific as they may be) of the 2008 Ms. Cheevious Hot or Not List are in!

Here they are (and I must admit – I am so proud):

1. Nereide F. Padalino Sherwood

 

2. Audrey Hepburn

 

3. Margaret Ekpo

Famed female politician in Nigeria.

4. Michelle Pfeiffer

 

5. Meryl Streep

 Meryl as the Devil

6. Angelina Jolie

 

7. Cindy McCain (one point away from Angelina!)

 

8. Ali McGraw

 

9. Jessica Alba (one point away from Ali McGraw)!

 

10. Paris Hilton (yessss – last and least)

  

 

A few who were suggested for the original list:

Marjane Satrapi 

Steph K.

 (sorry Steph – you did this! ha ha)

 

And of course…. You:

Not to be redundant – but that’s just “so hot.”

So – who do you suggest?  Who did I forget?  PLEASE DO TELL

Well!  I’m packing and directing moving men, as I type.  I must be off now.   🙂

Stay tuned for more fun and my own rendition of GIRLFRIENDS GONE WILD next week!

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Hot or Not THIS

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Okay.  I just hate those lists. You know them – the Hot or Not, Who’s Who, Most Likely to Succeed, or whatever-you-can-think-of lists?  In my opinion, they’re shallow, inhumane approaches to valuating people, based on lame sets of criteria, impossible to understand, follow or measure.  Don’t you think?  Well at least we all talk about how shallow and unscrupulous these types of lists are…  just as we read them, cast our votes, make our own judgements, and tune in to our favorite tv show or results episode to see if we were “right.”  I admit it.  I’m guilty as charged.  Though, I can’t say I’ve ever actually visited or voted at one of those Hot or Not websites. I am one of the most opinionated people I know, however.  Just ask anyone who watches television with me.  It doesn’t go without comments out-loud, like “Yeah, right.  Like anybody would really do that!” or “BAD hair day!” or any other wisecrack you can think of.  And I have tuned in to see and voted for the next American Idol on more than one occasion.

I’m sure there are pure, more serious-minded creatures out there who don’t even waste a glance at silly little trivialities such as these. But we’re not here for them, now are we?

But this last week, this whole thing came to mind, because my boyfriend has a gal-pal who’s a chef.  He’s trying to get her to open a hip-cool night time spot in Moab.  He said, “You know, she should have really hot waitresses like they do at Cantina in Aspen.  Her place should have that.  It should be a cool, hip place to go.”  This only came about because his gal-pal asked if he would help out by waiting tables, to which he whooped a resounding “NO.”  The problem is, I couldn’t picture one single “hot” waitress at the Cantina in Aspen.  Not that they are ugly.  They each have their own attractive factor.  So, it actually made me proud of my boyfriend.  He saw their hotness beyond what the media says is “hot.”

So, in the spirit of true shallow, degenerate, perverted, yet fun-spirited behavior, I’ve compiled a very unique HOT OR NOT list.  This one contains just a few women that strike me as – well, something – one way or the other.  I think they are “hot or not” ha ha.  But this is a REAL WOMAN’S LIST.  I’ve got a good mix of sexy, beautiful, smart, powerful, you name it.

On a side note: this list also came about while reading USA Today this week, and observing some of the wicked-harsh comments made about Cindy McCain’s looks.  I raised an eyebrow at the comments some in the media have made, which sounded so childish and petty.  I am not even necessarily a McCain supporter, but veer more toward someone who did not or could not, in my opinion, make this list. But I provided a link to the article where McCain is listed below.  I just thought it was unfair, so she made the list.  I thought it’d also be interesting to see what the REAL pundits say.

But YOU decide!  Remember, “HOT” can come from many places:  brains, power, balls or moxxy, the hip-factor, or just plain sexy/beautiful.

DO THIS:

Copy and paste my list (complete list without photos at the bottom) into your reply and rank them with “1” being the highest.  If I get a lot of replies, then next week, I’ll post your HOT OR NOT list.  If not, I’ll just post them based on what I like!  BUT JUST TO BE CLEAR:  I don’t have these in any specific order.  But, here they are, with photos.  Remember, the list alone is at the bottom for you to cut and paste.

 
1. Cindy McCain.

Meryl as the Devil 
2. Meryl Streep.

 

 
3. Michelle Pfeiffer.

 
4. Ali McGraw

 
5. Angelina Jolie

Famed female politician in Nigeria. 

6. Margaret Ekpo – Nigerian Politician

 
7. Paris Hilton

 
8. Audrey Hepburn

 
9. Jessica Alba

 

10.  My Mother – Nereide Frances Padalino Sherwood – A mother of 11 children, a Cancer, Stroke, COPD and more-than-one-car-accident survivor, as well as HOT MOM.  I guess you can assume where she may rank on my list!  But REMEMBER: She is EVERY MOTHER.

Here’s your list to copy/paste and arrange in your HOT or NOT order.  #1 is THE HOTTEST:

Cindy McCain
Meryl Streep
Michelle Pfeiffer
Ali McGraw
Angelina Jolie
Margaret Ekpo
Paris Hilton
Audrey Hepburn
Jessica Alba
Nereide Frances Padalino Sherwood

 

As for me:  I’m Always Hot Baby!  heh heh.  I’ve just been settling into the relaxing, fun, adventurous life in Moab for a short spell before I move to my new place in LA.  I’ll let you know the progress on those last three pounds when I’ve completed my move and can make heads or tales of what/when/why I’m eating!  ha ha!

Have a fantastic week!  And don’t forget this:  YOU ARE HOT.

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La Vida Loca with Angelina and Brad

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I’ve done some pretty cool things in my life.  I think I’ve been pretty lucky.  Actually – scratch that.  I STILL do some pretty cool things.  I AM very lucky!

Some might argue that while I’ve DONE cool stuff in my life, it all happened a few years ago, and I am in danger of actually becoming a has-been.  But I beg to differ.

Yes, a few years ago I lived in LA and worked with celebrities and all that, but then I packed up and moved my son and I to Aspen Colorado for a grand adventure.  It turned out to be all of that, and then some.  I tried rock climbing (thanks to my stud boyfriend), I learned to snowboard, and I kissed a girl.  HA!  Just checking to see if you were “listening.”  But hey, I feel as though I have the drive and adventurous spirit of Angelina Jolie.  She flies her own plane, ya know.  At least I hear that she does.  She also rides motor cycles, I think. I’m not sure I’d do the motor cycle, unless it was a really cool sport bike.  Maybe a motor-cross bike. That’d be cool.  And, yes, she is a multi-millionaire who’s married to Brad Pitt – but I’d never let a little thing like extreme fame and fortune create a chasm between me my new best friends. I can hang.

Anyhow, I think I still got it.  Even if in the end, I am delusional, I’m content with the action I’m getting, so who could argue with that? 

On top of what I do professionally (marketing and PR), I am a freelance writer.  And, no – I don’t just write this blog.  I actually sometimes get PAID to write.  Somehow I even fooled some people into paying me to do this stuff.  I love my life!  (OMG – I have to tell you this.  Just now, accidentally, and probably by a Freudian slip of the fingers, I just typed “I love my loaf” – which I immediately corrected – but then I realized it was too priceless.  Was it Freudian in the sense that I get paid to sit around “loafing” while I rant about every little quirk that crosses my path? Or is my “healthy eating plan” finally driving even my FINGERS to insanity, causing them to spell out in front of me that which I cannot have? ha ha)

Anyhow, a couple of months ago I interviewed Chris Cornell for the Associated Press.  You remember him don’t you?  The lead singer of Sound Garden, and more recently of Audio Slave?  Well – he made a slight stir last summer by singing the latest James Bond theme song.  Then of course there is the legendary cover he did of Michael Jackson’s Billy Jean.  That song was even covered recently – Chris Cornell style – by David Cook on American Idol, which elicited a phone call by Cornell to the show’s host, Ryan Seacrest, saying he liked it.  Interesting stuff, eh?  And you thought I’d lost my touch.

Well, the article didn’t get picked up.  So much for my CRASHING into the music journalism scene with a BANG. So I posted it on another blog i-Society.  Check it out (click the link a few words back), and leave a comment or two! It’ll make me feel important again.

If you are new here, welcome!  Normally I write fun, amusing posts of life from my own perspective.  To be quite honest, my perspective is one of intense exhaustion.  I think I just want to take a long hot bath, or get into the jacuzzi under the stars at the house in Moab and just chill for about six months.  Doesn’t that sound fantastic?  Heck, I’d even forgo the shops of Beverly Hills to relax for a good long while.  And do you know what sounds really awesome right now?  Brace yourselves.  A really nice long walk out in the desert.  Maybe even some rock climbing.  Nothing better to clear your head – that is, if you are in shape enough to trudge your fifty or sixty pound pack up uncharted (or non-existent) steep trails, landing at cliff bands that are more than sketchy.  It takes skill I tell ya.  Mad skill.

Any how, I am still traveling this week – so guess what?  No weight results.  But just remember, above all, I am a Thin, Light, Lean, Mean Machine. I am ROCKIN’ this thing.  I promise I’ll get back to you next week with my progress.  It’s been brutal trying to be healthy while on the road.  I need a valet – someone who will run to the market for me and grab some organic baby carrots to snack on when I forget to pack something healthy for the day.  They could also whip up a nice lean lunch while they’re at it.  That’s what I’m talking about:  Jacuzzis under the stars, and a valet. 

Now that’s the life!

It must be that time of month again.  Uh oh.  Here we go.

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Yo Yo Me

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Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

I’m nauseous already.  Sorry. 

But I’m being real here!  And at the same time, I’m waxing metaphoric.

The Realness? My battle to lose 11 pounds has now spanned over two months, and though I’ve managed to dodge the bullet, if you will, when it comes to gaining weight on weigh-in days, I’ve not managed to reach my goal yet.  All in good time ladies and gentlemen.  All in good time.

The Metaphor?   It’s all in the week I’m having!  Or month.  Or season?  It’s been so crazy – in a fantastic way.  My business (going from running full board to gangbusters in just about three months) is ever growing – something I’ve intended for quite some time.  My writing career has gone from non-existent to something to speak of – which didn’t happen really until I finally took the advice of the astrologist at the Ebony Magazine / Essence Awards After Party held at Merlin’s in the Universal City Walk back in 2002, who said “You are a writer. You should write. Now.”  – okay, so it’s not a totally reliable source, but hey, it got me writing. (I just got an email from a hot mommy’s website asking me to do a column – won’t say much more until it’s official, but that’s AWESOME).  It’s almost more than I could have imagined. Well, almost.

Heather Headley at 2002 Essence Awards

So, why does the picture above suddenly appear in my blog?  Well, that is Heather Headley.  You should look her up.  She is actually a FANTASTIC vocalist. She is somewhat of a Diva (at least it seemed that way to me), but she is the reason I was even AT the Ebony Magazine party that year.  I was dating her manager, but that is a whole OTHER story. HA!

In case you are new here – welcome!  I’ve been on this lonnnnnng, drawn out quest to shed a few pounds and get back to a healthy eating lifestyle, and I’ve taken my peeps along with me on the roller coaster ride.  I’ve had some challenges, but all in all, it’s been pretty simple I think. Once you put your mind to something, I am convinced you can achieve anything.  Yep.  Anything. 

So, on to the reasons for some of my YO YO – isms:

I’m buying a condo in Los Angeles.

Or am I? No, yes I am.  Well, I am trying to.  DO YOU SEE what I mean?  Yes. No. Yes. Buy Right Now. Don’t Buy Right Now. Hurry. Wait.  It’s dizzying! I had two condos in mind that I liked, after my last trip out to LA. The one I was leaning toward sold. Sounds simple enough, right?  Buy the other one, right?  No, it’s not so simple.  The let-down on the first condo – it was soooo cool – coupled with some things my worry-wart Realtor said about the shaky market and when I should strategically make my offer on a property, made me rethink everything. 

So.  Here’s the lowdown on my dizziness:   I’m in Aspen.  I’m going to Moab in a few days.  Then I go to Grand Junction, Colorado with my boyfriend to celebrate his birthday – woo hoo – Grand Junction (don’t ask – it was my idea, and I’m sticking to it). Then I’m flying to Albuquerque to spend time with my mom.  I need to be with her.  I’ll be there a few days, then I fly back out to LA to hunt some condos down.  Then I go back to Albuquerque to spend more time with mom.  Then I’ll be back in Moab.  Then we (my boyfriend and I) go to Aspen to pack up that condo.  Then we are moving all of my belongings to GOD ONLY KNOWS WHERE.

Stop. Start. Stop. 

Travel. Stay.

Shave. Grow. 

Sneeze.  Don’t. 

I just threw that last one in to shake things up a bit, and see if you were reading.  Don’t you hate when you need to sneeze, and suddenly it’s just GONE?

Well, anyway – here are my health quest results for this week.  I have to say that considering the following:

Easter (fantastic brunch at the St. Regis Hotel in Aspen)
PMS (can you say “monthly bloat?”)
My friend Tanya came to visit for a couple of nights to PAR-TAY in Aspen
My twelve year old son came to Aspen to snowboard and take a vacay, which meant eating out and movies and popcorn.

Considering all that, I did not do so bad!

Start Date:  Thursday January 31, 2007
Height: 5′ 5″
Goal: 125 lbs
Beginning weight:  136 lbs
Weight after week 1:  132.5 lbs (02.07.08)
Weight after week 2: 130 lbs (02.14.08)
Weight after week 3: 130 lbs (02.21.08)
Weight after week 4: unknown – no scale! yippee! (02.28.08)
Weight after week 5:  128 lbs (03.06.08)
Weight after week 6:  127.5 lbs (03.13.08)
Weight after week 7:   127.5 lbs (03.20.08)
Weight after week 8:   128 lbs (03.27.08)
Net Loss / Gain this week:  + .5 lbs 
IT’S A GAIN – OKAY I USE TO HATE THE MOAB SCALE.  NOW I KINDA LIKE IT.
TOTAL Net Loss:   8.0 lbs 

Time to buckle down and get back on track.  No more Mister Nice Guy.  For those of you who read this and think ‘Wow, it just seems so hard,’ don’t.  It’s not that hard.  I just underwent a brief stage of the “Cutsies,” as a wise Weight-Watchers counselor once told me.  We get a few pounds off, and we start to think, ‘Hey! I’m lookin’ pretty good.  Now I can eat whatever I want!’  But the really successful people – of course I AM one of those – stick with it, and don’t get discouraged, realizing it’s all part of the journey.  You’re Up.  You’re Down.  Physically, Mentally, Spiritually.  Don’t give up, or you won’t experience the bliss of success.   

So! I’m excited about the coming months and years ahead for me (and my lovely man), even though I’ve now added even more travel to my future, and it will be hectic and crazy at times.  Can you believe my man actually agreed to go on this wild ride with me? He doesn’t even like Los Angeles! He must really love me.  By the way – let’s wish him a Happy Birthday.  Happy Birthday to him! He’s an April Fool’s baby.  What does that tell ya? That he is a fool for love? Well, that works for me. He IS a love! Mmmmphhhhuuuuhhh!

Now Let’s Talk About You:  I actually don’t mind it so much when life gets hectic and crazed. How about you?  How do you handle things when your world gets tossled up a bit?  We’d all love to hear how you glide through life with chaos in your wings.  How you do so with charm, grace and sophistication.  Oh, and be sure to let us know if you are 40+ years or older, and haven’t a wrinkle to show for it.  (ha ha)

Also, do you think I am being too easy on myself? Should I have LOST weight this week?  It was “all so easy” in the beginning.  Do you think I should just buckle down, go postal on my body and LOSE THE LAST STINKIN’ THREE POUNDS ALREADY?  Please feel free to leave me a nice, friendly reply.  (ha ha)

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