Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

Daily Mischief

My car would be called “Ni”

by

MY CAR WOULD BE CALLED “NI”

#DailyMischief

 

click to leave a reply

 

This afternoon I was on my way to teach Pilates, minding my own business, when I noticed a little car I don’t think I’d ever seen around before making a turn.

I stopped to see what it was and it was a “Leaf.”

I knew right away it had to be an eco-friendly car, so I checked it out. That car is totally electric. It’s made by Nissan, and it uses Zero gas… and has no tail pipe. Pretty cool.

But LEAF? Really?

Why didn’t they just name it Flower or Pussy Willow for goddsakes? Shouldn’t a car, regardless of how green it is, maintain a good rep for being able to protect you and get you around safely? A name like “LEAF” will get you beat up. It’d be like naming a boy Dick Trickle, Jack Meoff, or Wun Hung Lo. It’s embarrassing.

What made my day was when I imagined myself on the board of directors naming that car… Oh, the other names I could come up with to bring the SMACK DOWN on that lame ass “Leaf” idea. But all I could think of as I was driving? “Shrubbery.” And I thought it in a British accent, as in the classic movie “Monte Python’s Holy Grail.”

If you don’t know the story, watch the clip below to get up to speed. It just kills me. I hope it kills. you too, because I love you so much.

My favorite quote?

“Ohhhhh… what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say “Ni” at will to old ladies…”

 

http://youtu.be/QTQfGd3G6dg
Screen Shot 2013-11-15 at 4.12.09 PM

 

If you can’t see the video in your browser or email, click the icon to view it here.

 

 

 

In my infinite wisdom I decided Shrubbery is even more wimpy than Leaf. But the Knights who say “Ni” ROCKED.

My car would be called “Ni,” The name itself is an extension of something related to plant-life (shrubbery), right? Plus, it would make grown men (and old ladies) cry, and that’s a car I would trust to keep me safe. Just sayin’.

 

click to leave a reply

 

 

Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

Maybe there’s some money in it for you

by

MAYBE THERE’S SOME MONEY IN IT FOR YOU

 

#DailyMischief

 

I received an email from a graduate student (Alana) who found Ms. Cheevious and wanted my help with her dissertation.

Alana, you had me at “found Ms. Cheevious.”

Alana needs to collect and analyze data about the communication between single (divorced) parents and their small children after the divorce. Let’s help Alana out, shall we?

Here’s the deal:  You have to meet some criteria. If you do, and you take her little online survey, you can win $50 BUCKS for participating. Not bad, eh? Help a college student = maybe win some money.

If you do not meet the criteria, you may know someone who does. So PASS IT ON.

Here are the criteria:

1) You must be a divorced single mom or dad – divorced within the last 3-5 years. (Sorry… you can’t be just a regular ole single parent, no. You have to have gone through hell — I mean divorce). 

2) You must be at least 18 years of age. (I always say I had my first kid at 6 years old… that it was in all of the tabloids. So if that’s your story, and you aren’t lying… well you have other issues, but you don’t qualify).

3) You must be fluent in English. (No hablamos Espanol).

4) Your kids are between 2-5 years old. (You grannies with grownups, it doesn’t countm even though you probably need the money just as much… next time perhaps). 

5) A child is attending a full or part-time preschool program. (Those of you lucky enough to stay at home and/or homeschool your kids, well the way this deal works, you don’t qualify… and you know… I say “FINALLY – something for working, single parents!”)

If you meet all of the criteria above, go to https://surveymonkey.com/s/Y6RZ3HD. If you don’t please pass this on to everyone you know!

Share it on FACEBOOK with this status update:

Have you been divorced within the past 3 years and have a child between the ages of 2-5 who is currently enrolled in preschool?  If so, click here to participate in an anonymous survey that can win you $50!  https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Y6RZ3HD

 

And for those of you Twitter savvy readers, please share this:

Are you divorced w/a young child? Do this survey to help @YUDivorceStudy with her dissertation. You could win $50! https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Y6RZ3HD  

 

Be quick about it ladies and gentlemen. I’ve got more mischief to share.

Divorced parents Dissertation

Photo credit: Arileu

 

 

 

Register to receive these posts by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

I walked into a bar

by

I WALKED INTO A BAR

 

#DailyMischief

 

Click to leave a reply

 

I didn’t take a photo last night while at dinner, even though I knew I planned to tell you a story about it. So, this photo is of some random place I’ve never been. I simply wasn’t thinking of you guys or a photo at dinner. I blame the wine.

But you know… sometimes I think Enough already, Lisa. You do NOT have to snap a photo every godforsaken place you go. So, instead you get one that looks like I should have been THERE. My neighborhood bistro / bar La Vecchia is pretty cool with the right photography, too, but I definitely want to go to the place in THIS photo.

5 Great Twitter Contests
Stuck in Customs / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

Vecchia has a rockin happy hour, so the bar is always packed (which is where you must sit to get the happy hour deals). You guys, they have about three SALAD options on their happy hour menu for about 6 bucks (plus their cab-sav is pretty great). I am obsessed with Vecchia as a result and almost always want to go there. It’s when they bring the hot baked bread and olive oil which really tastes best when paired with rigatoni bolognese, that things go south. You guys! Dangle that yumminess in front of me, and all thoughts of living healthy are like – “What’s your name? And… you would be?” – basically forgotten. Which is why I do not always go to Vechhia.

I got in without much of a wait since I was alone (don’t forget, Nuggie is in Tucson on a film), and I sat down next to a nice guy who was also flying solo (his gal went to Panama to settle a land dispute. WOW). Robert worked in Music Publishing. He was telling me about his industry… how Sony is the biggest in the publishing arena. He said the thing that everyone says when they aren’t working (myself included) – that the business has changed incredibly over the years. Then he laid this on me. He said:

Sony Publishing bought EMI in partnership with David Geffen and some other really rich guys.

I almost spit my wine out, I just found that so funny. I said, “Really? Some other really rich guys? I need me some of those so I can buy some things…”

We all really need at least one of those.

Better yet. Let’s BE one of those.  God knows I plan to be “a really rich guy” (you know what I mean) one day.

Can I get an AMEN!

Such a funny little experience makes me think perhaps this walking into a bar thing should become a regular thing.

….

Oh wait….

 

Click to leave a reply

—————–

 

Register to receive these posts by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

Here’s something BIG

by

HERE’S SOMETHING BIG

 

#DailyMischief

click to leave a reply

 

Last week I promised I would get back to posting daily articles here. But time flies, dammit.

Has it really almost been a week?

Okay that is IT!

No more scarcity of posts people. Watch me light my keyboard on fire.

No really. Watch.

I would say I’m sitting here at my desk this lovely Saturday night writing and posting articles with the unwavering focus and determination of a Tomahawk cruise missile, but it’s more like I’m in college cramming all twenty-one chapters in for the final exam on Monday. But I digress.

Last week I eluded to BIG NEWS that would give you insight into my lack of posts. I won’t keep you waiting any longer.

You guys, M.C. Nugget and I made things official last Monday!

TA-DAHHHHH! 

 

Yep. We did it!  The man who never gave a copy of his apartment key to any gal before he met me, is now not only in a relationship with me, nope. I don’t just have a key and happen to keep most of my clothes at his place, no. We are now…  (mwahahahahaha) .…

DOMESTIC PARTNERS!

You thought I was going to use the big M word didn’t you? I’m not opposed to marriage you guys, but that wasn’t going to happen like this. No, only a DP situation would be appropriate for this kind of shotgun stunt to save our beach palace.

You see, we chose to go this route because his landlady was threatening eviction, stating I’d been Nuggie’s “illegal roommate” which conflicted with his lease. But we soon learned that in the city of Santa Monica it is unlawful to evict someone who is in a Domestic Partnership or Husband/Wife.

So guess who marched over to the steps of City Hall on Monday morning before they opened to say “SIGN US UP?”

“But I thought domestic partnerships were only for gay people,” you say? Well, apparently not.

The best thing I heard during all of this was from my good friend Gecko down in San Diego who asked, “So do we throw you a reception or something?”  No, Gecko, we do not.  But thank you for thinking of it. I’m just kinda loving this official status with my NUGGET. Now that is something BIG.

 

Nugget1
Here we are, the first people at the Santa Monica City Clerk’s Office on Monday Morning. Awe…
Nugget2
The clerk was nice enough to snap a shot of the newly partnered Domestics… See how clever we were with our rings?
Nugget3
Love me a little Sepiatone photo, because Nuggie looks so good this way. But there it is – our little City Hall behind us.
Domestic Partner rings
And here is the photo you’ve all been waiting for: Our Domestic Partner rings on our index fingers!

 

click to leave a reply

 

—————–

 

Register to receive these posts by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

You can suck it

by

YOU CAN SUCK IT

 

#DailyMischief

 

click to leave a reply
Ice that is. IF you (or anyone you know) are a Hottie McHottlestein dealing with sudden and uncontrollable – ahem – heat  (read: #hotflashes)… then just SUCK IT.

Suck or chew enough of the cold stuff and before you can strip down to your skivvies, you’ll be shivering.

And guess what? There’s an added bonus:

Your body will burn extra calories trying to warm itself back up.

WOOT.

Suck It

I stole this image from the LJD fan page (I’m all about #healthyliving and talking all the time about Orchids – you probably know it as … shhhh… menopause…  – SMH).

 

click to leave a reply

—————–

 

Register to receive these posts by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

For those times when you forget these

by

FOR THOSE TIMES WHEN YOU FORGET THESE

 

#DailyMischief
click to leave a reply

 

(THIS WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON SATURDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2013)

 

M.C. Nugget and I left this morning on a road trip up to San Francisco. Much as I love travel, this morning, as I started to collect all of the things I need with me at all times (my iPhone charger, electric exfoliator Botox-cream and my hair protectant, because I must always have tight skin and non-fried hair while driving along PCH),, and as I started to ask myself out loud, “what was it I wanted to bring?” I thought this is why people hire people for this. Because, you guys, I just got back from San Diego on Monday and I woke up this morning in a cloud and in obvious need of more sleep.

So we were loading up the car (Nuggie was) and I was making my last second rounds for important bring-alongs (Splenda packets, Vodka, gummy vitamins: CHECK). I grabbed my purse but noticed a pile of papers stuffed inside my cute little satchel. The only thing I thought was “get RID of the excess,” as I laid the pile of papers on the hutch and ran out the door.

Road trip necessities.

 

About an hour down the road, Nuggie said, “I’m going to need you to check the directions for the correct exit coming up,” to which I replied, “Where are they?” It’s funny what happens when you ask Nuggie a question. He tends to answer. So then he said this:

“I put them in your purse.”

People, this post could be about how important communication is, but the truth is I am the dizzy blonde (pun intended, and if you read my posts, you’ll get the pun) in this. Nuggie had informed me he put the directions in my purse this morning, but I was too distracted by the big screen to notice.

Thank god for iPhones and google maps. We are on our way and doing great. We are just outside of the Hoover Dam now.

click to leave a reply

 

 

 

Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.