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My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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Scrooge

I’m Thankful I’m Here to Write For You

November 25, 2012 by MsCheevious

Please accept my apology for this post in advance.

I just spent the last few minutes perusing the internet. In those few moments I bounced from badly written article to uninteresting (and badly written) blog post. Basically, I wasted the past few moments.

Sigh.

I suppose it’s not a total waste. Perhaps there is a slight glimmer of hope in the very fact that people are still writing. I should be thankful for that.

But I am not.

I’ve scanned the entire canvas of my soul to determine what has become of the person who looked at the bright side of every story, of every dilemma, but I’m just plain tired (Is this a recurring theme in my posts of late, and a sign it’s quite simply just time for a good, long nap?). I don’t want to have to work to see the good in articles and posts I read. And I certainly don’t want to have to use a protractor and my miniscule knowledge of calculus to connect the dots in the story. I want those damn dots to jump up and sing to me.

So – here is my earth-shattering Thanksgiving post:

I’m thankful I’m here to write for you. As egotistical and self-serving as it sounds, I’m sorry, but it’s true.  I worked long and hard through my schooling (both private and public) to actually learn this beautiful, if not perplexing language of English. I learned to conjugate verbs, spell and utilize commas appropriately. I memorized the differences between homonyms like your and you’re, their, there and they’re, and I diagrammed sentences until I was literally dreaming about them.  I paid my dues and it stuck. I couldn’t properly diagram a sentence today if you paid me… not without a refresher course… but I learned how to put sentences together and what made them good, strong sentences… which is all that matters now.

So when I read something, anything, and the message is lost amid butchered language (slang and obvious artistic license aside) it makes me sad. Scratch that. It pisses me off.

So, I’m glad I’m here to write for you people… even if only five people actually take the time to read the words here on this page. If it ignites a fiery passion and encourages only one of those five to choose this wondrous medium from which to communicate their story… their adventure… well then it’s well worth it. Perhaps that person will go on to write posts whose dots sing and dance on the page. Perhaps those waltzing dots will inspire more, and a cycle of great writing will begin anew for upcoming generations.

Listen. I am not here to say that great writers of today are extinct. I’m here to say I’m tired of coming upon horrible writing, and from trusted sources, websites and magazine. It’s just enough to make me take my ball and go home.

Someone help me! If this keeps up, my skepticism and disillusionment over bad writing is sure to progress into skepticism and disillusionment over all of human-kind… and do you know what that means?  I may be in danger of becoming a ….

SCROOGE.

It’s about damn time too, after all my years of being Emily English Expert and Little Miss F*^#KIN’ Sunshine about it.

Dammit!  You see?  It’s already happening.

If I’m not careful I may RECEIVE some of my own HUMBUG SCHMUMBUG items from my store (it seems eons ago that I painted this… though it was just a few weeks ago):

http://www.cafepress.com/mscheevious/9503518

I’ve only provided the link above, in the event you feel that purchasing something from the Humbug Schmumbug shop might improve my mood or turn things around for me. It might.

Feel free to also send me links to worthy articles, but please be sure they’re written exceedingly abundantly well. I’m like a freaking fairy. If you believe in me you will send me great articles, and I will live. Otherwise, I’ll die a slow painful death.

That’s it. I’m done.

You may go about your business.

Have a great week everyone!

Love you people!  Mmmmphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in [Mis}Chief

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Living Life, Reviews - General, Sheer Utter Silliness, Stress, Uncategorized Tagged With: English, Grammar, Humbug, Humbug Schmumbug, Scrooge, Writing

Lovin’ Every Ho

December 20, 2010 by MsCheevious

Oh yes.  I am loving every single, itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, tiny little HO (and the big fat mama jamma HO’s too).

And no, we’re not talking about “Ho”s” from the hood.  Get a grip here.

It’s the Ho-Ho-Holidays, after all  — as in CHRISTMAS — this coming SATURDAY people!  Ohhhhh yeeaaaahh.  I’m psyched.

I adore the holidays.  I don’t care about the crowds, the traffic, the frenzied rush to get everything done for work and play… It all signifies just how truly important this holiday IS to others as well as to me…

So, though I did HOLLAH-BACK something like “Oh YEAH?  HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU TOO YA BIG JERK!!!” at the very angry driver who screamed untold expletives at me while I waited for a parking space recently, I won’t let it get me down.  I hope he doesn’t either.  Well, actually – screw him.  He can eat burnt cookies for all I care, the big SCROOGE. And, if by some miraculous chance, the shoe is on the other foot, and I, Ms. Cheevious, happen to be the big Scrooge, I will gladly eat burnt cookies.  (Of course, that doesn’t mean much to me since I like cookies of all varieties — from uncooked, raw dough… all the way to dark and crispy).

But I do absolutely love the music, those old (and some new) movies, old television shows, the baking that is making everyone that I know and love a few ounces heavier!  Ha ha.  Why?  Because… it’s THE HOLIDAYS!!!  Time to let go, unwind, enjoy yourself, and spread the good cheer, peace, love, generosity and good will to everyone you see.

‘Nuff said.

So, I’m sharing the things that I LOVE the most about the holidays – one for each of the HO HO HO’s of Christmas (count ’em – THREE).

HO # 1:

I LOVE being a sneaky, spy-girl little elf. Plotting and planning and sneaking around over the holidays — and it’s all about my peeps — finding a special something for them, and surprising them with it.  The joy or surprise, or whatever the intended reaction was, that comes over their face, when they finally GET what I’ve given is what I live for.  Precious. It’s especially fun to do those Secret Santa exchanges.  I am notorious for going all spy-girl, stealthy on people.  I go to great lengths to divert attention away from me and on to other poor saps as the possible SS.  But nope.  I’m never found out.

HO #2:

I LOVE being the most AWESOMEST Christmas DJ… finding new and cool music for the holidays like THIS.  Check it out! (It’s by Kay Starr – the Stuhr Remix).

I guarantee you will NOT be disappointed!

I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm

When you click on the link, it should open a new window and then a little audio player on the page will show up, and you should click on the play triangle button.

And finally…

drum roll please…

The very thing I love the most is…

HO #3:

I LOVE making the holidays ROCK…  doing whatever possible … for my two sons, my lovely man and family — whatever it takes, I want them to experience the magic — of friends, family and of course – REALLY AWESOME presents (even if they are simply well-stated sentiments in a lovely card).

That’s it.  I’m done.

Have a very Merry Christmas you sexy ladies and suave gentlemen!

Stay tuned for a Rockin’ New Year’s post, and PUH-LEAZZ – stay safe, warm and KIND this week! Do what you can to NOT become a SCROOGE!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmpppphhhuuuuhhhhhh!!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

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Filed Under: Entertainment, Holidays, Uncategorized Tagged With: I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm, Kate Starr, Scrooge, Stuhr Remix

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