#DailyMischief
I’ve said this before… that my other boyfriend has 27 inches. It’s true. M.C. Nugget is TOTALLY in over his head… . And it’s not just because of the size. I become entranced when I’m with my other guy. I only have eyes for him. Everyone around me just disappears. And all things considered, Nuggie is actually pretty great with all this, even though I don’t even know if he’s in the same room when I’m with my 27 inch-er…
I guess you could say Nuggie and I have an “open relationship” when it comes to this.
If you’re new, I’m sorry. You think I’m a total sleaze. Well… Pfff! I probably am… but don’t get your g-string in a bunch (if that’s even possible). The other boyfriend I’m talking about is my Big Screen (otherwise known as my 27″ iMac computer).
I’m about to go around the block to get next door with a little story here, but if you want the short version, scroll down past the TOTALLY interesting story just below.. you won’t miss a THING. Swear.To.God.
I’ve always had a love affair with technology, dating back to listening to my transistor radio by the neighborhood pool when I was six. And I’m pretty good at all things “techno.” Have you seen my “Techno-Babe Moments” videos? When I first married my ex-husband, I was 23. He took me to his family’s cabin in the woods (and by cabin, I mean a luxury home with a full-sized washer, dryer, two bathrooms, satellite TV and telephone service inside). Though it had all the luxuries of home, the place was secluded in a breathtaking mountain valley known as Pearl Lakes, CO, Upon arrival I learned their satellite TV was broken. It was an old-fashioned satellite, straight out of the 80’s… A giant dish sat outside their living room window, and it required dish owners to “subscribe” to various services that had satellites floating up in space. Many of them were free, some were not. They had names like Galaxy19, Telstar and so on. My ex’s family hadn’t been able to watch TV since just after the guy installed it and someone in the family tried to change the position of the satellite to watch something. All they saw was snow. So, my first day there, against warnings that I would light the thing on fire by the end of the day, I sat, undeterred, communing with the piece of equipment. I had it working within about an hour and I’d never used one of those things in my life.
I’m just sayin’…
So, the other day, I was thinking about my son Graden, when he was about six or seven and we lived in our condo in Los Angeles. He was (and still is) brilliant and resourceful, and he quickly found ways to reach me through the deep, magnetic pull of my computer screen (though back then it was probably only about 12 inches). Poor kid was forced to be resourceful if he wanted to eat (it was all a part my plan to train him for the apocalypse).
One of the first ways he did this went something like this:
“Mom!”
….. (pause… )
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“Mom!”
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“Mom!”
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….. (pause… )
“Mom!”
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…..
“LISA!!!”
I immediately heard him, snapped out of it, felt guilty and ran to his side.
This reaction greatly pleased Graden. The heavens opened up and the angels did sing on that day.
But that was IT. My life of peaceful communion with my computer was over. Graden started getting creative with things like yelling, or singing made up songs with my name in it, even grabbing my sleeve with his construction clamp-y toy.
This did not bode well for either of us.
Pull me away from “work” accidentally? Okay. But start devising ways to pull me away from my work to say “hi,” “what are you doing?” or any other random statement… uh… NO.
At the same time, I’m not a horrible person.
No, really.
I actually understood my little guy’s need for mommy time and attention, even if I was working (yes… yes… I actually did work from home then).
So, we came up with a system.
I sat down with him on his bed, snuggled him, looked him sweetly and deeply in the eyes and explained that mommies need to have other people and things in their lives too. That my computer was a way for me to provide a roof over his head. That if he continued to interrupt in such a way, we would be sleeping on the street in a cardboard box very soon, and did he want that to happen? No, of course he didn’t. I also let him know that he had no reason to be jealous… just because the computer obeyed me every single time and made my life easier, it wasn’t his fault… and he had no reason to feel threatened, or afraid. It really was HIM that I loved.
You can tweet something like that above, by clicking HERE.
So, I pulled out a white sheet of paper, and I told him that if he ever REALLY NEEDED to pull me away from my work… from my ability to keep us from living on the street, he could QUIETLY slip that baby in front of the computer screen.
I further educated him on situations when this interruption was appropriate:
a fire
an accident involving my vodka
a flood
an earthquake.
This actually worked pretty well. Poor little Graden. He still does this to this day.
He’s 20.
JUST KIDDING! I’m a GREAT mom!
But when I remembered this the other day, I immediately texted him. These are fond memories for me. So our text went something like this:
Kids say the damnedest things, don’t they?! You see?? I’m not such a horrible mom. Look how long it took HIM to respond!!!!
I know, I know. The cliche’s don’t escape me (they never do): The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, You reap what you sow, etc. etc. etc.
Until next time, people!
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Blog content copyright 2015, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.
MsCheevious
Ms. Cheevious is the alter-ego of Lisa Jey Davis (former publicist, and television talent manager, current award-winning writer & author, & health and fitness pro). Though Ms. Cheevious has become known for humor via the blog and social media, offering a lighter and brighter look at life… the blog was originally a precursor to Lisa Jey's long overdue book "Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood" which offers a fabulous, funny peek into what really goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood… a Hollywood with Lisa Jey and her funny “serendipities” in it. Think Lucille Ball meets Chelsea Handler meets the girl next door (with a little chocolate and vodka). It depicts with hilarity the innocent mistakes Lisa Jey made when launched back into the big, bad single jungle, as an unassuming single-mother in the City of Angels. It’s also about the beautiful, interesting life she led while her loving, incredible sons kept her grounded and sane amid fantastic events, new friends, parties and field trips. It also shows the turmoil and heartbreak that comes with dating and single mom life. All blog content © 2015 Ms. Cheevious aka Lisa Jey Davis
I work from home these days too, and it’s an open door policy once the kids come home but, I’m in the attic and I have a sign that says “Open for Business” or “Closed for Business.” If I’m on a meeting I put up the closed sign and that’s their code to be quiet while I’m on the phone for a meeting. It “seems” to be working. They were really great the first few months, but now they’ve kind of swayed and will have a rip roaring fight with one another right outside the “closed for business” sign. Geez. Good thing phones have a mute button these days, right?
Great ideas Elyse. Where were you when I needed you?
Sorry Lisa, I got stuck at “just because the computer obeys me every single time” HOW do you do that? Mine is more like a teen, happy some days and moody the next and usually talks back.
Onisha – let me refer you to my response to Kenna. Ditto that.
My kids now ignore me with their own computers. But I can’t complain too much. Especially since son #1 just got his Baccalaureate MAGNA CUM LAUDE. Just braggin’.
Keep on, Lisa Jey. You ARE are great mom.
You see Scott? What goes around comes around. (congrats to your son… NICE)
I remember the day I got my first (very slow) computer. I was so excited. Of course I was too impatient to take classes or read the manual. I just learned by trial and many errors to do what I needed. I’d read sections of the manual when I said to myself, “There must be an easier way to do this!” I loved the clunky little guy! Good memories.
When my Standard Poodle, Bentley really needs to go outside, he comes over to my chair and leans his head on my shoulder. He breathes hot breath down my neck until I quit working on the computer. What a happy wag I get. I guess I’m a good mom, too. My daughter has her own daughter to interrupt her computer work now.
Dogs are great that way.
Wow! You really get into the zone. I’m envious of a 27-inch computer screen, although the day I connected my laptop to my 32-inch tv, I did fall in love with my computer all over again.
Dang it. Where the heck’s the “LIKE” button?
You had me at iMac. I’ve been wanting one for YEARS. Maybe next go round…but I do not want a 27 inch computer screen. I have a 17 inch and feel it is too big. Glad you like yours and pretty impressed it does what you tell it to!
It’s a giant transition Nichole. Beware. And be afraid… be very afraid… Do NOT believe what the genius bar folks tell you about the seamless transition, etc… yada yada… blah blah… It does NOT work that way. Just be prepared!
You got my attention. I don’t quite love my computer, though, it takes me away from the real world, often misbehaves, won’t listen, and shines bright lights into my face at night. The “on” and “off” buttons around my small room look like Christmas trees at night when I turn out the lights.
Yes – well, I didn’t say my iMac and I don’t have arguments. Every love story has a little reality in there somewhere… lol
YOU FIXED A SATELLITE DISH??? Haha, got more than that out of the story, but that impressed me. You and I must have gotten the MacGyver gene in the family. My kids call me MacJuder LOL. I do however remember us having the same struggle growing up as Graden with mom and dad when a TV show was on, “MOM, MOM, MOOOOOOOMMMMMMM.” That must be in the genes too. Another little tidbit, I remember my transistor radio too, strapped that sucker to my bike (I was so cool.) Hugs!!!
HA! MacJuder… that’s priceless… Very funny how the memories differ! LOL
Sitting here working in my screened porch home office while my 12-year-old daughter does laundry and watches Chopped for ideas for dinner tonight, I just laugh out loud when I read your posts. My biggest distraction is the one-year-old and 12-week-old rescue pups we adopted last month. The one-year-old is 100 pounds of pure love, but he insists on trying to sit on my lap and/or put his 25 pound paw on my arm so I can’t work the mouse. The little pup challenges the big one and loves my white cat to pieces whether he likes it or not. Thank you, Lisa, for your always spot-on posts! Smiles from Jacksonville Beach, Florida
I want that 100lb pup! How friggin’ cute is he? Awe! And thanks Susan! Glad to have you join in the fun! xx
That was just TOO funny! Totally enjoyed it! Needed a good laugh today!
THANKS Wak! xoxo