IN THE MEANTIME…
#DailyNugget
Yiddish proverb:
“A man comes from the dust and in the dust he will end”—and in the meantime it is good to drink vodka.
or whiskey… bourbon… wine… tequila…
#ImprovingOnTheProverb
~ The Nugget
Is Mardi Gras a spiritual event?
IS MARDI GRAS A SPIRITUAL EVENT?
#DailyMischief
I’ll never forget my first trip to New Orleans. I was working in my dream job, working behind the scenes on music specials – this time for the Super Bowl and for MTV’s Mardi Gras in February of 2002. The Tragedy of 9-1-1 and the Twin Towers was still raw and horrific on everyone’s mind. Things plugged along, but major events were cancelled and/or rescheduled…people changed their lives completely… our country was mourning. That year the Super Bowl (with the Secret Service as our security team) took place in New Orleans on the Sunday just before Fat Tuesday. Fat Tuesday is the last day of Carnival and it ends at midnight that night (Mardi Gras). At least I think that’s how it goes. It doesn’t really matter. Mardi Gras is basically the biggest excuse for a crazed-mofo-drunk-party-fest that I’ve ever seen in my life.
My friends and I did our fair share of mofo-drunk-partying in the French Quarter, to be sure. But believe it or not I never ONCE flashed my boobies to any single person just to get those beaded necklaces. PFFF. Puh-leaze. Not like that. I got my share of beads alright, but I’m saving that story for the memoir…
Anyway — I was amazed by the elaborate, sexy costumes and floats, and the exotic festivities during Mardi Gras. I determined then and there I would go back one day. And I’m still waiting. But when I do go, I have it all figured out. What I want to look like, that is. I’ve always loved the costume I wore when Nuggie and I first met and went to Vegas over Halloween with my best girlfriend. We all rocked our pirate costumes (which we got at some place called Mr. Costumes or something). I will probably do something different, of course, but this was and is still a fun one:
Speaking of… did you know that it’s a spiritual event? Mardi Gras, that is. Yes… Yep… yep, it is.
Okay… it’s a rash of debauchery leading UP to a spiritual event – one LENT. Lent is a Catholic thing. It’s the season of penance beginning on Ash Wednesday, when all good Catholic people refrain from eating or drinking anything yummy, and from doing anything fun for a lonnnnnnng time. And prior to the start of this most pious of times is Carnival (a celebration) which starts on January 6, the Twelfth Night (feast of the Epiphany), and picks up speed until midnight on Mardi Gras, the day before Ash Wednesday (at least in New Orleans). It’s true. I got all the info from this nifty little New Orleans Mardi Gras website.
I don’t recall learning this in Catholic school, and I’m a sort of angry about it. I would have enjoyed dressing up every day, partying it up until midnight the night before Lent (even if I only was six years old… I could’ve had milk and cookies before bed – like nightly). I was especially upset after having suffered through a good many Lents myself. Every year I dreaded what was coming: the boredom and nodding off during the Stations of the Cross (our school went to this every week), while a Priest who seemed to hate his job fumbled to read the material aloud as slowly as humanly possible. Oh the horror. If I’d known about partying until Ash Wednesday, our entire universe might be different now. You and I could be living in completely different places and know all kinds of famous people… hell…maybe BE famous! And who knows? My lack of celebrating Carnival prior to Lent may be the very reason we do not know world peace today!
I am so…so… so sorry.
In case you plan to go to New Orleans this year (f you do, bring me back an elaborate Mardi Gras mask would you?), I’ve found a schedule of parades and other events here for you. While you’re at it have a King Cake and some Shrimp Étouffée (I can’t handle the crawfish kind) for me.
Oh – and laissez les bons temps rouler! (That’s “let the good times roll” for you New Orleans newbies or non-Frenchies).
See you next time…
This post was proudly brought to you by Mr. Costumes.
It was like Lickity Split
IT WAS LIKE LICKITY SPLIT
#DailyMischief
#HealthyAttitude
#Health
The other night I had just finished teaching two very intense SP Pilates classes at Sweat Pilates in Culver City, when I decided to stop by the Trader Joe’s. The last thing I wanted to do was shop for groceries at 9:00 PM at night, but I sucked it up and drove over.
I think grocery stores and markets around the country should make it a policy for their staff to stand at the front door and hand out merit badges (read: at least 30% off purchases that night) to anyone who buys more than four items at 9PM on a Monday night. Especially in Culver City (sketch-ville in spots). I should get the discount just for the effort. It’s never easy to drag my ass over to any store at that time, let alone one in Culver City to do the full blown SHOP thing.
I was pretty high on teaching adrenaline after my classes, so when I got to the entrance and a guy who looked like an older, African American version of Ron Woodruf from Dallas Buyers Club (with a little Morgan Freeman mix) asked me if I could buy him some food, I decided to engage with him. It’s not like I often ignore homeless people… no. I feel their pain… and realize that “but for the grace of God, there go I.” But I do admit to saying “Sorry, I can’t right now,” more often than not lately.
I stopped and said, “I can give you the cash I have on me, if that works? Two bucks?”
And the guy said, “Oh thank you so much miss. Do you mind if I hug you?”
Do you mind if I hug you?
In that millisecond, I thought about it. Yep. He looked like he had Aids – he was skinny and haggard as a rail, and had one of those 60’s style afros that reached about 6 inches from his head, was laced with silver/gray hair and was just as straggly as the rest of him.
But then I thought This may be the only time this day, week, month… YEAR this guy ever gets shown any remote affection or anything.
So I said yes.
The guy hugged me warmly.
Then he reached his head around my neck and sort of kissed the back of my neck – but it felt very wet.
He had either LICKED or tried to FRENCH KISS my neck.
I know.
EWWWWW!!! (that’s what the little girl in my post image is saying)…
I quickly said, “Have a great night…” and walked off. I half-floated away as if lived in a cartoon and had just been hit really hard on the head by one of those cartoon sledge hammers.
I still had tweetie birds circling my head when the little voices began to rattle my brain.
Did he just lick me?
What were you thinking?
What if the guy has some disease you can get through the skin?
What if he has Aids?
Can you get Aids like that?
No you can’t, dumbass.
That was really f-ing stupid Lisa!
These tweetie bird thoughts circled my brain as I shopped, and when I hit the register, I grabbed the hand sanitizer and lathered it all over my friggin neck, hands and more.
Then I felt really stupid.
Why was I so freaked out? Because the guy LICKED me. He took LIBERTIES with me! (My Dallas grandmother would faint and probably did roll over in her grave – God rest her soul). But it was just odd. Right?
Poor guy. He probably hadn’t had any human contact like that from someone non-homeless in a long time… or hell… maybe he gets a lick every day and it’s the ONE thing he loves to brag about to his other street friends “Hey guys! I got number 357 tonight! You should’ve seen the look on her face! And I got two bucks too! Woohoo!!”
But ya know… If the guy is homeless and begging for food, and that is what makes his day just a little brighter, then GOOD FOR HIM, and I’m glad I did it.
I looked for the guy as I exited and there was no sign of him.
OF COURSE.
He licked and ran!!!
So you know…
It was like …. LICKITY SPLIT.
…
…
I’m here all week.
Now go out there and reach out to someone in need with your human-ness this week, would you?
Photo credits: Kerem Tapani / Foter.com / CC BY-ND & marktrash / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
#HealthyAttitude
#Health
Soon my pets… soon
SOON MY PETS… SOON
#DailyNugget
I’m gluten free until the end of January thanks to Ms. Cheevious. That’s bready, pasta-filled, cracker-stuffed, potato chipped delectable, TASTY gluten FREE for 9 more days, 1 more hour and 18 more minutes.
The truth is I LOVE gluten. And no one should be separated from their loved ones for so long.
~ The Nugget
You can use some of this stuff
YOU CAN USE SOME OF THIS STUFF
#DailyMischief
A couple of weeks ago I was interviewed by the gorgeous love Ande Lyons on her Loving and Lasting show. She wanted me to give people some tips to get off their tuckuses and get into shape. Ande’s schtick is to increase intimacy (or create it) and keep things interesting among couples. And it’s easier to keep things interesting when we’re in good shape and look/feel AWESOME? Right? That’s what I told Ande, when I begged – I mean agreed – to be on her show.
So we talked and talked (and laughed), and I shared some REALLY cool tips. Like, did you know that the calcium found in FOOD burns fat in the trunk region? That’s your belly, people. YOUR BELLY! Can I get a woot woot!!!?
Yep…and researchers discovered that the highest percentage of fat burning happens when the food consumed is a dairy product. So…apparently that ice-cream may not be so bad for you after all. Though, you can get high calcium in other foods like spinach, ochre, almonds and other great stuff. Google it.
After we went quickly through my tips for kicking your own ass and getting yourself into shape this year, I went over some foods that are known to reduce foggy brain and even prevent dementia as we age. So here is that video, (and if you can’t see the video box below from your browser, click the little thumbnail above or just go here: http://youtu.be/bCa99wCNaD4.
Trust me, you can use some of this stuff — and you should.
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Banana Photo Credit: Pink Sherbet Photography / Foter.com / CC BY
It’s free
IT’S FREE
#DailyNugget
This month we’re going gluten free.
Here’s the thing: if you switch the words around, it’s FREE Gluten.
That’s next month.
~ The Nugget
Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.
Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.
Image credit:
Whatsername? / Foter.com / CC BY-SA