Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

daily mischief

You’d like oxygen with that?

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YOU’D LIKE OXYGEN WITH THAT?

 

#DailyMischief

 

The other day I heard an engine failed on a Spirit Airlines flight recently. People reported that it looked as though the engine blew up. They could see the flames, and the cabin filled with smoke. This conjured up what is probably not-all-that-skewed of a vision of life inside the cabin that day.

If you aren’t familiar, Spirit Airlines is the airline that sucks people in with super cheap airfares. They do it by charging extra for basic needs while flying. If you want to go to Cartegena from Florida, you can get a flight sometimes for $9.00. Hard to believe you can travel to another country without clothes on, but that’s how you’ll get there for nine bucks (they call it the “Bare Bones” flight). If you want to bring your passport on board, it’s an additional $656.00, one way. Otherwise they’ll hold it at the gate for you and if you ever do make it back, they’ll make a quick call to Julio, and let him know he has to return it.

I flew Spirit to Houston for a mini family reunion a while back and was amazed at the fees for basic needs. You want to carry on your laptop? That’ll cost you twenty-five bucks (checked bags are twenty). You’re thirsty and in need of some water? Sorry. Nothing’s free. And, don’t try to buy water by flashing a smile or your good looks, because flirtation with the flight attendant costs you five. And if he’s gay? Ten.

I thought about how extreme this is, and the fact that Spirit is capitalizing on a public who is hurting financially and willing to go for the deal – at almost any cost. It still amazes me. It’s true, some of their fares just can’t be beat, and if you come prepared – you know, with your camelback (hidden under your jacket) full of water or, in my case, Grey Goose, as well as a sack lunch somehow smushed into your handbag (one of the only free carry-ons allowed) – then you’re golden. But good for them. They make money, and we get to go places and see things.

But back to my vision of the cabin filling with smoke. You people over at SPIRIT may want to pay attention here, because I’m about to unveil a bonafide business opportunity:

The next time there is an engine failure, smoke in the cabin, flames eating up part of the plane, or anything like that… when people start flailing around looking for help, or maybe some oxygen… Just make this announcement:

“We’re happy to assist you during this crisis here at Spirit Airlines. We offer oxygen masks for an additional fifty dollars. If you’d like to purchase one, hit your call button.”

 

 

Please visit my BREAST CANCER AWARENESS SHOP and show your support. Let’s show we care!

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Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

When retrograde would really suck

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WHEN RETROGRADE WOULD REALLY SUCK

 

#DailyMischief

 

M.C. Nugget and I were driving to dinner the other day. It was a happy day because Nuggie booked a major role in a film (yay Nuggie), and we were going to dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants to celebrate. As we drove, I chatted with him about my day. It had been one of those days from a parallel universe.You know… when the coffee just finished brewing but tastes cold; or when every file you purposefully save with a certain name and in a certain place so you could find it easily later, somehow disappears? Or in this case, where the women everywhere in your life start to go “off” — getting upset or overly sensitive about things or jumping to conclusions and making rash decisions (rash, as in cutting of your hand because it’s itching, rash).

I’d already been experiencing weird paranormal events with my electronics earlier this month and questioned on Twitter whether it was time for Mercury’s Retrograde. It was.

So as I mused over this with Nuggie, I said “It wouldn’t be Mercury… but…

is there a planet whose retrograde causes women to go batshit crazy?”

The Eyes Have It

Nuggie laughed. He thought that was the BOMB. We wondered if Venus’ retrograde would do that. Does Venus have a retrograde? All I can say is if any kind of retrograde can cause chicks to go batshit crazy (more than usual, that is), that is when retrograde would really suck.

Show me what you can do

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SHOW ME WHAT YOU CAN DO

 

#DailyMischief

 

I sometimes I think in September and October the blog gets bogged down with TOO MUCH of my fundraising. On one hand I must spread the word, and on the other hand, I am sure you get pissed off at the incessant prodding about my causes and will more than likely leave me. I know. Serious abandonment issues. Plus, I’m a little neurotic when it comes to you, my readers. You’ve been here for me through pretty much everything (pssst…. don’t leave me).

And I promise guys, I do try  to keep things here on the blog light and separate from my fundraising efforts whenever possible, but my life is consumed  these two months. So what else am I going to talk about? They happen to also be my two busiest months next to the holidays because – as you probably figured out – they are back-to-back cancer awareness months (Ovarian and Breast cancer, respectively).

So indulge me a little, and I promise to sprinkle the FUN in here and there too. Deal? The fundraising will be over after October!

Now here is what’s going on, as well as a WHAT WENT DOWN DURING LAST MONTH’S FUNDRAISER:

OVARIAN CANCER MONTH

In September (the teal month) I created a beautiful, affordable single charm bracelet, pictured here:

MsCheevious Charm Bracelet

as well as a few other products (pins and magnets) that said “Do something to stop ovarian cancer.” I took my own icon for Ms. Cheevious

mscheevious_painting

and adapted it into a teal image. All of the proceeds for that campaign went to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund.  We raised one dollar per item (that was my profit, believe it or not. I know. I need to find a better supplier because the money these companies are making off my hard work is downright ridiculous), and raised a total of $53.00.

Don’t spread the hate. I know it’s nothing huge to write home about, but I’m doing SOMETHING, which is more than I can say for the masses. I am quite happy with the results, considering I merely emailed it to you all and shared it on facebook and twitter. But guess what? You can still buy any of these SUPER AFFORDABLE items (you guys, we’re talking about buying yourself one less Cafe Latte in most cases), and we’ll save up the profits for next September as well. Here is the artwork that appears on the charm as well as the other items.

OVARIAN CANCER greatness and terrific items:

http://www.cafepress.com/mscheevious/10384373

OCAM_Charm_Bracelet_Art_2

Above: Ovarian Cancer Awareness item artwork

AND NOW IT’S TIME FOR BREAST CANCER AWARENESS 

And for October, I’ve started selling two very cool items. I just ordered mine so unfortunately I’m unable to provide in-the-flesh modeling photos. You poor things.

And all of the proceeds for these benefit FORCE (Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered), the organization that supports those afflicted by hereditary breast & ovarian cancer. The links for each are below.

THE MS. CHEEVIOUS BREAST CANCER LUGGAGE TAG

It’s $10.95 plus shipping & handling. I have this same tag, but it’s got my icon from above (in the regular “red”) as the artwork, and I absolutely LOVE IT. It’s SUPER sturdy, well-made and stands out at the luggage carousel!

Get one for everyone in your life who travels and make a statement about Breast Cancer (the more you buy, the more worthwhile the shipping cost!).

 

And guys, if the NFL can sport pink, by GOD so can you.

BCA_LuggageTag

 

The luggage tags can be purchased (it’s in stock and will ship in 3-5 days) here: http://www.zazzle.com/ms_cheevious_breast_cancer_awareness_tag_luggage_tag-256702722007252191

 

THE MS. CHEEVIOUS BREAST CANCER NECK SCARF

I’ve ordered mine in the dark gray (far right), but it’s available in nine different colors. It’s slightly sheer, but super long and pretty, and the writing and pink ribbon on it is small enough to be elegant, but large enough to make a statement. I’ve also made this item customizable, so you can add “In memory of______” to the scarf if you would like. It’s a fantastic item for fall and says it all – SAVE.THE.BOOBIES people.

BCA_NeckScarf_Colors

This item is $22.95 plus shipping and handling. I’ll post a photo of me in mine just as SOON as it arrives. Get the scarves here: http://www.zazzle.com/ms_cheevious_hereditary_breastcancer_scarf-256814118370194079

 

That’s it people. I’m spent. I’ve pushed, I’ve prodded. It is now your turn to do some good. Show me what you can do.

 

And the chocolate goes to…

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And the chocolate goes to…

 

#DailyMischief

 

It was a great giveaway, with over 30 comments (including my replies of course), and after filtering out those who were not qualified (ahem – NUGGIE), and one who is allergic to chocolate (poor soul), it was MITCH. MITCH won the box of goodies from Sucre New Orleans! Congratulations to Mitch, and best of luck to you all in the future!

Chocolate Winner

 

Be sure to watch me do my little chocolate dance again… just for giggles…

http://youtu.be/c3067X0HeiU

Thank you for all of your comments and stay tuned. I have some interesting and wonderfully Ms. Cheevious giveaways coming!

This could work in your favor

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This could work in your favor

 

I’m jet-lagged, wine sopped, bread clogged and totally time-zone screwy. I returned from Houston late last night, but am still recovering. I need some help. Even though I indulged in whatever was put in front of me in Houston, I’m eating all carbs all the time just to be able to stay awake! If I’m not careful, before the day is done, I’ll be one big giant JABBA-JIGGLE. This could get ugly. To top it off, I received a box looking just like this filled with decadent, delicious chocolates today.

Sucre_Chocolate

Here’s how this could work for you, though. BEFORE I received this box of yumminess, the great folks at SUCRE CHOCOLATES reached out asking if they could send chocolates to one of YOU, my lovely readers.

My immediate response was, “Shhh-NO! Don’t you people know that my life’s mantra is anything is better with a little chocolate, or vodka, or both?” I let them know I would have to “sample” these supposedly great chocolates, before imposing them on one of you.

So to hell with my jabba-worries. It’s time to JABBA-INDULGE people.

Soon, I’ll offer one of you gorgeous “commenting” readers a chance to win a box all to yourself! It won’t be long… I’ll be over here in my corner conducting my chocolate experiment and JIGGLING up. I’ll let you know how Sucre fares. Then watch for the little contest of YUMMINESS.

 

That time when ignorance really was bliss

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Two days ago I was driving with Nuggie and the radio was playing a familiar song by Lifehouse called “Hanging by a Moment.”

I was singing along, when I experienced a rare moment in drive-time singing: that instant when you pay attention and realize you are and always have been singing the wrong lyrics.

I sang this:

“I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held on to
I’m standing here until you make me blue…“

you know, because, the guy wasn’t going anywhere until the girl he loved paid attention to him. Even if it meant turning blue. I laughed and realized how I had imagined the guy was holding his breath, waiting desperately for someone, and somehow I crossed metaphors in my singing. You know those stubbornness, hanging on by a thread, holding your breath til you turn blue, and not being willing to move until someone makes you metaphors? Yeah, those.

How amazingly complex and artistically intricate the brain can be that I was able to mix metaphors into something that actually rhymed, right?!

Yeah, that’s it. It was my brilliance that made me sing about a guy turning blue from standing around.

But that’s not the worst of it. I’ve long been a vocalist. You may not know this about me but I attended college on a scholarship for my voice. So I have a special respect for singing and music, in general. But I love it as well, and when given the opportunity, I often indulge.

When I realized as I drove along the road, somewhat abruptly that my lyrics all these years had been wrong, I somehow was transported to a barbecue a few years back hosted by a friend of ours. Our friend the host’s band was performing, which of course meant I would be joining them, no matter how much I’d had to drink.

I remember telling our friend I absolutely loved “(fill in the blank)” band and had sung all of their songs in high school.

So, while I was up there with THE BAND getting ready TO SING unbeknownst to me the video was rolling. The band started to play, and I started to sing. Only, shockingly what came out were indecipherable lyrics, because — you guessed it: I couldn’t remember the lyrics. So, though my memory is foggy, it went something like this: “Yeahhhhhh… uhhhhnnnn… hnnnnnn… love youuuuuu…”

You get the picture. It was a prime example of my brilliance at work. The best of the worst part? One of my best girlfriends couldn’t make the party while we were there, but arrived a while later. She reported with a teasing grin that she’d had the fantastic pleasure of watching the video of my moment on stage.

Ah, the glory, the lights.

With that I’ll leave you with a video of the song that started this post, and a complete and full admission that I’m much more suited to writing professionally. Because singing should be left to people like this.

But I must admit. When I thought I knew the lyrics to that Lifehouse song, and I sang it happily. Those were the days. That was when ignorance really was bliss.

Lifehouse

 

I know. Yes. They’re hot. Enjoy.