Relationship

Here’s something BIG

November 11, 2013 by MsCheevious

HERE’S SOMETHING BIG

#DailyMischief

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Last week I promised I would get back to posting daily articles here. But time flies, dammit.

Has it really almost been a week?

Okay that is IT!

No more scarcity of posts people. Watch me light my keyboard on fire.

No really. Watch.

I would say I’m sitting here at my desk this lovely Saturday night writing and posting articles with the unwavering focus and determination of a Tomahawk cruise missile, but it’s more like I’m in college cramming all twenty-one chapters in for the final exam on Monday. But I digress.

Last week I eluded to BIG NEWS that would give you insight into my lack of posts. I won’t keep you waiting any longer.

You guys, M.C. Nugget and I made things official last Monday!

TA-DAHHHHH!

Yep. We did it! The man who never gave a copy of his apartment key to any gal before he met me, is now not only in a relationship with me, nope. I don’t just have a key and happen to keep most of my clothes at his place, no. We are now… (mwahahahahaha) .…

DOMESTIC PARTNERS!

You thought I was going to use the big M word didn’t you? I’m not opposed to marriage you guys, but that wasn’t going to happen like this. No, only a DP situation would be appropriate for this kind of shotgun stunt to save our beach palace.

You see, we chose to go this route because his landlady was threatening eviction, stating I’d been Nuggie’s “illegal roommate” which conflicted with his lease. But we soon learned that in the city of Santa Monica it is unlawful to evict someone who is in a Domestic Partnership or Husband/Wife.

So guess who marched over to the steps of City Hall on Monday morning before they opened to say “SIGN US UP?”

“But I thought domestic partnerships were only for gay people,” you say? Well, apparently not.

The best thing I heard during all of this was from my good friend Gecko down in San Diego who asked, “So do we throw you a reception or something?” No, Gecko, we do not. But thank you for thinking of it. I’m just kinda loving this official status with my NUGGET. Now that is something BIG.

Nugget1 — Here we are, the first people at the Santa Monica City Clerk’s Office on Monday Morning. Awe…

Nugget2 — The clerk was nice enough to snap a shot of the newly partnered Domestics… See how clever we were with our rings?

Nugget3 — Love me a little Sepiatone photo, because Nuggie looks so good this way. But there it is – our little City Hall behind us.

And here is the photo you’ve all been waiting for: Our Domestic Partner rings on our index fingers!

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Take a Chill Pill

June 30, 2013 by MsCheevious

Just a little encouragement here people – from me to you:

In follow up to my “Relationship Whispering,” article (because some misunderstood that article to be the “how to nab a guy in four easy steps” article)… I cannot stress more the REAL point: You are awesome, so fill your time and energy with more of the awesome things you do. Live your life to the fullest, baby.

If you aren’t as “awesome” as you think you can be, spend your time and energy getting there. And stop worrying about or spinning your wheels, expending countless amounts of hard-earned energy over “getting” something (or someone), and turn your focus onto YOU.

Basically, take a CHILL PILL folks.

RELAX.

Having exactly what you think you want will do you no good unless YOU are in the healthiest, happiest place possible on this planet (and no, that is not Disneyland). It isn’t always a “relationship” we long for, but for the sake of continuity from my last article, I’ll use it as my first example.

When women (especially on the younger side) start “seeing” someone and find they want more, they often spend their energy unwisely… especially in the early stages…

Is this a “thing?”

Should I call him?

Does he still like me romantically?

Why didn’t he call? Did I do something wrong? Am I not pretty enough?

Are there any other obsessive questions I can ask and spend my days/nights/weekends worrying about?

We all do this folks, even if it’s really about our next career goal, or even… maybe…. a book deal… or something. We all find ourselves spending too much time (and valuable energy) WISHING or thinking about it, when we simply should get on with LIVING.

I’m so bummed I can’t afford this condo that’s for sale. I’m such a loser without enough money.

I wonder what kind of job I would need to be able to afford it? I wonder if I’m even good enough to get such a job?

Maybe I’ll keep playing the lottery, and since I have the best intentions to save humanity, I will win, and can have that condo (and three more if I wish).

If only I knew the right people, maybe my whole world and job would be different and I would be able to afford that condo.

My “whispering” article which so aptly detailed scenarios I hear every day and have lived myself, was intended to make clear that you must LEARN and HOLD FAST to a completely DIFFERENT mindset.

In order to find and hold fast to a new mindset, you truly must TURN YOUR FOCUS from all of those types of thoughts listed above, to more appropriate things like…

“I’m excited about who I am and for the potential for greatness I possess!”

“What type of person do I want to be when I DO reach this goal?”

“How can I get there?”

“What list of things did I do this week that I can be proud of?”

“I think I must do more of THAT. Let me put more of THAT on my schedule.”

“I deserve some alone or ME time… I will pamper myself a little.”

“I’ll read more so I am the well-read, educated person I want to be.”

“I’ll get a weekly massage or stretch out for _____minutes a day to relax my muscles.”

“What, if anything, should I add to my world to become the person I want to be?”

“Should I learn more skills or find a place where I can practice my new mad-skills?”

“Are my friends healthy and supportive? Should I get out and make/cultivate new friendships?”

“Should I network more to meet colleagues in my field or interest areas?”

“Maybe I will take a cooking class… Learn to play polo… ride a horse.”

“Who are the wonderful people in my life, and how have I been treating them? Have I focused on them lately?”

Obviously these are just a few examples of other, healthier thoughts. A different – healthier mindset is the KEY to your GOLDEN city of dreams people. But turning our focus when we really want something (or someone) or “Intend” to achieve something, is no easy task. It’s not that the “Thing” we want shouldn’t or won’t happen or be “ours.” It’s not that we shouldn’t take necessary steps to make things happen, or that we aren’t going to “get” there. I am NOT saying to lose your goals. I am saying there are always elements in every situation that are beyond your control. You only have control over YOU and your responses.

So, THAT is where my list of tools from the Relationship Whispering article come in. How do we apply them to other situations? Well, here is one way:

Write down a “thing” you want – your GOAL (relationship/friendship, job, record label contract, book deal, three-picture deal, car, whatever). Then make a list of healthy approaches designed to fill your time…approaches that are related to you and that “thing” and are intended to make you even MORE awesome than you already are (in the case of Mr. Gorgeous: Make a list of things you can enjoy on your own – see movies, go to nice dinners, get friends together for fun interesting events). Plain English: SET YOUR GOAL and instead of a plan of attack, list things you plan to do for yourself to keep you healthy and make you more awesome while you try to achieve your goal. Do more for yourself than you do toward your goal.

When something you want doesn’t happen (your dream home is for sale again and it’s still out of your reach, the guy didn’t call, the book isn’t published, the producer didn’t hire you for the gig, fill in the blank), write a new list of related healthy, proactive things you can do to build the best you EVER (learn that foreign language, practice making Origami creatures, start a daily gymnastics regimen, begin saving clippings of your favorite interior designs, whatever). Then when the time comes that you DO reach said goal (or move-on entirely – as may be the case with that dream gig/job/house/guy/girl) you’ll be anything BUT ill-prepared, and happier for it. Plain English: BE PREPARED with an arsenal of healthy responses and even more love for “you” if and when you encounter set backs.

You never have to lose or let go of your goals. But your desires may change, especially as you continue to grow and become the person of your dreams.

FOCUS on what REALLY matters:

YOU people. You.

Most of all CHILL OUT. RELAX.

You are becoming more incredible by the moment.

Love you people!!!! Mmmmmpppphhhuuuhhhh!!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

aka Lisa Jey Davis

Editor in [Mis]Chief

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Just Call Me The Relationship Whisperer

June 23, 2013 by MsCheevious

That’s me. The Relationship Whisperer… Well, more like the Relationship “Hit-em-over-the-head” er.

But everyone needs their own personal relationship whisperer, to help stop them from committing the cRaZIeS every now and then.

If you are a single lady, or know any, hang out with me here for a bit, and I guarantee you’ll be glad you did.

Allow me to share a little example of my Relationship Whispering at work, to prove what a STUD I am, before you pass judgement. After said example I’ll share some beautiful jewels of ageless wisdom.

A friend of mine, Glitter Nails, is in the early stages of a “situation” with a guy she actually likes more than her new manicure (the manicure with glitter and little cartoon characters on alternating nails).

We texted about her situation, because she felt her guy “Cutie” was acting “different” or distancing himself the night before. We spoke on the phone at first… but then I was telling M.C. Nugget about it, and he reminded me of some great points… So, here is my text conversation with Glitter Nails below:

Know why she simply replied “Thank you!”? Because I’m right! Damn straight! But keep reading. The inspiration continues … also there is a typo a little ways down… but just keep reading…

Just so you know, the part above that says “totally secure and. Oil okay with that” is suppose to say “totally secure and totally okay with that“. My iPhone and I are at the intersection of Love and Hate right now… It’s a bit of a crossroads where I keep trying to figure out how not to throw it out the window, and it keeps trying to learn not to misspell, but fails constantly.

A sure sign of any “whisperer” of sorts, is when the subject begins to feel empowered and capable of doing what’s necessary. Glitter had the right idea there when she said “Just going to leave it alone.” So, of course I continued…

Her response was simply “Thank you – you are right.”

I rest my case.

Now listen up ladies (and gents, if you happen to know someone to share this with). I’m about to unleash some nuggets that could change your life. I’m not kidding.

To sum up this and a myriad of other dating situations between men and women, here is how you ladies should behave if you want to attract the best friend who is worthy of being in your life:

1) Maintain your awesome, fun, incredible life regardless of how much a guy wants to see you – even at the beginning. If you get sucked into a day and night, constant phone calls and texting situation, it’s okay. Just remember and continue to remind yourself that this is only preliminary and temporary… He WILL move on from this at some point. He ALWAYS does.

2) Until you are actually IN a REAL relationship, and you’ve had the conversation about dating exclusively… well, let’s face it. It’s anything but exclusive, so all bets are off baby. Keep your dating card open and scheduled, even if it’s with guys you don’t necessarily want to date long term. Keep yourself BUSY and distracted. If you do, it will help you with so much more than you can imagine, and if you don’t, you’ll be in danger of pining, thinking, wishing and wondering during your idle time. And for what? Remember… You are AWESOME & INCREDIBLE… which brings me to #3:

3) Keep reminding yourself of your sky high value – your awesomeness – and of the AWESOME-SAUCE life you are building for yourself. Do NOT get stuck in the imagination rut where you picture all the other pretty girls he is probably talking to or dating.

Admit it. Every one of you single ladies, when suddenly not in touch with Mr. Lover Boy, envisions him out sailing on a yacht flanked by hot chicks, drinking and dancing the night away with a slew of other women. That, or at best, you’re taking on his martyrdom, making excuses for and enabling him to be a sad-sap because of a broken home, divorce from five years ago, or whatever… Women are too good at making allowances for a guy’s difficult life… When in reality, if you actually spent all that time and energy working on becoming the finished product you want to be, and reminding yourself of all of the incredible traits that make you beautiful – you wouldn’t have the time or inclination to imagine anything about him. Or better yet, when you do go down the road of imagining his world, you will recognize that bad habit early on, and bring it to a screeching halt.

Now, just for giggles here are some other things that will empower you on the road:

a) Don’t be the first to reach out. When you go a few days without the communication you’re accustomed to, DO NOT be the first to reach out. When he does reach out (and he will), go back to #3 above and remember how awesome you are, and think about your cool, busy, mover-and-shaker life (or of how it will one day be that way, because of the YOU you’re developing now). Then, don’t answer his call right away. LET him leave a voicemail. If he doesn’t leave one, LET IT GO. Don’t call back from a missed call right away. Don’t text him back. Make him wait.

This is not a game with him… I SWEAR.TO.GOD he isn’t even thinking about “it.” You can call it a game you have to play with yourself if you want – but it’s really just a new discipline you are practicing for YOU. You’ll need to do this until you learn to respect yourself too much to be willing to JUMP at the slightest hint of attention from Mr. Lover Boy. Don’t respond for at least four hours the first time, and try to work up to a day or two. Even if he called and didn’t leave a message. It was probably a pocket dial anyway. Sorry, I’m merely whispering the truth here.

b) You are a happy, welcome breeze to him. When you do call or text him back, keep it upbeat. No, I don’t mean in the 1950’s outdated, outmoded housewife sense. I mean, don’t be a friggin’ DOWNER. Do NOT use this as an opportunity to express your worry during the time he was out of touch, or to get whiny or weird, or ask him if you can get together. Remember, you’ve been so busy tending to your awesome, incredible life, and changing the world in the process, you really hadn’t even noticed that “Gee!! Has it really been since last Sunday that we spoke? No way!” Plus, you too are seeing his call or email (whatever) as a welcome breeze that came in to distract you away from your crazy empire. DO that for yourself. You’ll actually begin to believe it ladies. I promise. You won’t actually say you’ve been so busy building your empire (or business, or attending countless events, whatever). You don’t want the guy to feel less than you, while you’re learning this new discipline. You might simply say “Hey there! How are you? It’s great to hear from you!” And if in his upbeat and awesome way he says something about how he’s just been too busy to call, etc… Don’t even address it. Move on and say, “So, how’ve things been going?” Maybe follow up on a project or event he shared with you in the past.

c) Do not accept a same-day invitation. Remember: Just because he is busy, and can’t be expected to call you every moment, doesn’t mean that isn’t true for you as well. This is true even if you’ve been hoping/wishing/waiting for that call or invitation. You’ve got “things” to do. You are busy. Even if “busy” means you’re filing your nails, by god, you are BUSY, dammit. He doesn’t need to hear from you that he should plan in advance… A few “no” answers because he keeps inviting you out at the last minute will be all he needs to get a clue. If he doesn’t get it from that, either he simply IS too busy for you, and isn’t the right guy, or he’s too clueless to be worth your time. If you are doing #2 in that section above… remaining distracted while this guy gets a clue, I guarantee you that if Mr. Lover Boy isn’t all he’s cracked up to be, you’ll merely be free to notice someone who is.

You’ve just been *whispered* to people. Don’t miss the gems when they come.

Enjoy your week you gorgeous people!

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

aka Lisa Jey Davis

Editor in [Mis]Chief

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The OFFICIAL X-Factor

March 5, 2012 by MsCheevious

I apologize in advance, but this is not a review of the popular television show The X Factor starring Simon Cowell. You will not find any content about singers or performers here. No, my little devlish ones, this post is about the OFFICIAL X-Factor, and stars one Ms. Nawty Norski, but the only singing going on in this post, well – there is none. You can hum along to “Oh Sweet Mystery of Life” if you’d like (look it up you rug-rats that don’t know what I’m talking about, sheesh! Look specifically for clips of the late Madeline Kahn belting out a few bars of it in the classic favorite, and hilarious film “Young Frankenstein”).

Over the recent Valentine’s Day holiday, a gal pal of mine, Ms. Nawty Norski, posed the following question, which is the essence of this post – The OFFICIAL X-Factor:

Can women successfully rekindle the flames of love and passion, or more importantly, have healthy relationships with X-boyfriends?

It came about because an X of Nawty’s got back in touch suddenly, for no apparent reason. He is an X from years ago, who was far too immature to give her what she desired from a relationship back in the day. That’s why it ended in the first place.

In his most recent communications, X-Man seemed interested to pick things up from their most intimate of stopping points, professing a newfound maturity that was obviously amiss in years past.

She remained a bit ambivalent about the matter, but was willing to consider the merits of the situation, should Mr. X deliver the goods he was promising (those “goods,” aside from his newfound maturity, well they’re a bit x-rated. You see, Ms. Norski sent around a Nawty-Note for Valentine’s Day about how women are only interested in men who possess some very – ehem – specific qualities. Not all physical, mind you. One of those qualities was fiduciary. Well, Mr. X, who’d already been trying to “reconnect,” as it were, responded in the affirmative to her Nawtiness). Being the adventurous, mscheevious, inquisitive, fun-loving gal that Nawty is, she spent the evening at his home on Valentines Day. Nothing serious happenend, but she was not convinced. She asked me to pose it to you – my lovely readers. What do you think?

(Above image “borrowed” from http://furniturestoretoronto.blog.com/ex-boyfriend-quotes/)

Can we women overlook the hurt, pain, confusion and/or frustration (even disinterest) of the past with an X-boyfriend, husband or otherwise, and hope to engage in a fulfilling, fun, adventurous, positive relationship experience today?

Tell us what you think you wise, razor-sharp boys and girls. I am waiting with bated breath. And Ms. Norski? She’s holding hers. So hurry it up. The clock’s ticking. And you don’t have to join any email list to comment below, so you have no excuse. Feel free to advise Ms. Nawty Norski in your comment.

I’m going to post the most creative, fun, interesting, random or weird comment in my blog next time, so get to it, and use that wicked-smart wit and brain-power you’ve been given.

That’s all for today, but I’m in Mammoth Mountain ski resort as I type this, so you’ll be seeing another couple of videos from me very soon. Sorry. The nuttiness WILL forge on.

Love you people! Mmmmmppphhhuuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Here’s something BIG

HERE’S SOMETHING BIG

TA-DAHHHHH!

Take a Chill Pill

FOCUS on what REALLY matters:

YOU people. You.

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

AND NOW FOR TONS OF LINKS

BOOKS

GIFTS!

Just Call Me The Relationship Whisperer

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

AND NOW FOR TONS OF LINKS

BOOKS

GIFTS!

The OFFICIAL X-Factor

(Above image “borrowed” from http://furniturestoretoronto.blog.com/ex-boyfriend-quotes/)

The Funny (that’s the blog people)

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Relationship

HERE’S SOMETHING BIG

TA-DAHHHHH!

FOCUS on what REALLY matters:

YOU people. You.

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

AND NOW FOR TONS OF LINKS

BOOKS

GIFTS!

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

AND NOW FOR TONS OF LINKS

BOOKS

GIFTS!

(Above image “borrowed” from http://furniturestoretoronto.blog.com/ex-boyfriend-quotes/)

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