Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

MsCheevious

Mammoth Mountain Moments – the iPhone Incident

by

Yes – we went and did it, people.  M.C. Nugget* and I went to Mammoth for a ski getaway last weekend. It turned into an entire debacle involving my iPhone.  The tale is full of twists and turns, as well as screams and tears, but you’ll have to watch the video below to know why.  Now here is the cool part: ONE lucky commenter on my YouTube channel will receive a very cool prize (I’ve got something for your comments here too. Keep reading).  I hold the actual prize up in the video toward the end, but here is a close-up:

I chose the powder blue version. It’s a Miller and Jeeves (out of Oxerfordshire England) business or credit card wallet, and the leather on this little guy is so YUMMY smelling!  You’ve got to check it out at www.bottica.com.  They were the gracious people to gift this to me because of my KLOUT score online! Isn’t that awesome?  Yes, I am well aware than many of you don’t know anything about KLOUT scores, and I’m talking gibberish as far as you’re concerned. But think in terms of the word “clout” – what it means – and then, as it relates to “online” or “internet” presence.  My score is actually not very accurate, because it won’t allow me to combine more than one twitter account or more than one Google+ account, and guess what? I have about 8 twitter accounts.  Yes.  8 or so.  Plus or minus…. maybe. Really people. By now you know that I have my OWN online presence, as does Lisa Jey Davis (the other me). So there are numerous profiles running around cyberspace. I don’t blame Klout for not being able to keep up. I’m suffocating in the bytes myself!

Anyway – watch the video. Comment on YouTube if you’d like to get a chance to win, and comment here – because I’m going to pull together a consolation prize for one person who can tell me the very last word I say in the video – and when it appears! This one is fun.

Here’s the video! Click the little YouTube icon on the bottom right of the box to write your comments on YouTube (you’ll need a YouTube account – but that’s super easy, especially if you already have Google+ – which owns YouTube – it’s pretty much done).

For those of you via email, who cannot see the video box, here is the link: http://youtu.be/b74Vvkf7JrY

Good luck everyone!  Tune in next time for an article on those things Girls Secretly Wish About Guys! OHHHHH YEAAAAH.

Love you People!!! MMMPPPHUUUHHHHHH!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

*If you don’t know this already, all of my friends and family are given aliases in Ms. Cheevious-land, unless they don’t care either way. In that case, I happily broadcast their lives here, there and everywhere for all to enjoy.  M.C. Nugget, aka Emcee Nugget, aka Nuggie, is my beau.

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

How Buffy the Vampire Slayer Rocked My World

by

No, I’m sorry.  This is not about the dark and try-as-it may-to-be sinister television series. It’s about the film from 1992. It was suppose to usher in the dawn of the feminist horror queen heroines. No scream queens in this film.  But instead it was campy and hilarious, and was reviewed poorly… written off by film reviewers.

Then a little thing like a cult following made a television network like the CW stand up and take notice. They repurposed the storyline for a six year run on primetime television. Only, the television version didn’t come close to what fans of the film had fallen in love with:  the hot, somewhat ditzy valley girl (Kristy Swanson) meets somewhat hot and quirky love interest (Luke Perry), two very likable, ill-intending, yet clumsy vampires (Rutger Hauer & Paul Reubens aka Peewee Herman), and a wise old Vampire-Slayer guide (Donald Sutherland).

Since one of those “other” blog sites (Hello Giggles) out there posted “Five Ways Buffy the Vampire Slayer Ruined My Life” about the television show, I decided someone had to talk about how this film impacted modern-day pathos…certainly my own.

The MOVIE “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” rocked my world, because it came at a time when I was a young mother who was newly married. My life had become very proper, and tame. I was introduced to these SNARKY, HILARIOUS, COOL phrases that made up most of the film, and I was in awe. I had always been one of the girls in my circle who wise-cracked and made silly-as-hell jokes about everything, but now, just as Buffy was always ready and always witty, so too I would always be ready with a quick-witted response. I knew that my wit could some day change the world – and definitely save my life.  I was right, of course. Here are just a few of the ways the film and it’s awesome lines ROCKED my world:

  • When something is TOTALLY out of style: What I use to say when something was out of date or unfashionable (oh ten or more years ago) was, like Buffy’s friends in the movie, “That’s SOOOO Five Minutes ago.”  But because the quick wit of the film made such an impression, I’ve become very adept at updating my quips to relate to current culture.  So now I may say, “That’s SOOO five megahertz ago.” OR if I’m REALLY on my game, I’d say (pay attention now, this is GOOD): “That is SO 3G.“
  • How I ALWAYS look on the bright side: David Arquette’s character, Benny was best friends with Luke Perry’s character Pike, but he got turned into a vampire early in the movie.  BUMMER.  Later in the movie he says “Come on, Pike! Join me! Live forever! We can start a band!”  That is SO me.  I’d totally be turning life as a member of the undead into something cool. I’d be the lead singer.
  • When I want to use hormones as an excuse: Buffy learned that as the “chosen one”, the “slayer”, the way she would know that vampires were nearby is she would get cramps, similar to the kind she got during her period.  Her response? “Great. My secret weapon is PMS.”  So, basically, whenever she got cramps, it was time to KICK SOME ASS. HELLO?  Can you say IRON CLAD EXCUSE for going Bat Shit CRAZY on people? Hormones People!  PMS, Periods, Menopause, Whatever!  Voila!  See why it rocked my world?  Now, before you clue me into the fact that Buffy’s cramps were not her actual period and therefore were no excuse for any behavior (one could argue that actually), let me remind you of something.  This is about how it rocked MY world. You can read all the lines on your own (a link to many of them is below) and draw your own conclusions, but no one ever promised objective or even REAL reporting here in Ms. Cheevious-land.  So for me, the cramps bit was a great way for me to excuse MY ASS KICKING behavior when I’m hormonal, unkay?

Heyyyy… maybe I’m not only “like” Buffy. Maybe I AM a Slayer after all.

But really, the list of comedic retorts and phrases goes on and on!  There are so many great lines in that movie.  It definitely ROCKED my world.

That’s it for now my lovelies!  I’m off to beddy-by, where I can dream about slaying the world with my cool-ass wit.

But before I go… one of the readers of my post “10 Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women” asked me to do a similar post about what Women Secretly Wish About Men. I’m toying with the idea.  But in the meantime, for your reading enjoyment, you can find many of the funny lines from the “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” film here: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_(film).

See you next time everyone!

Love you people!!!! Mmmmpphhuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

10 Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women

by

Awww.  Men.  Try as they may to figure out the feminine psyche, they just can’t seem to pull it together.

But hey, women are no Einsteins when it comes to figuring men out either.  That’s why books of the Mars and Venus persuasion are such top sellers.  We spend millions trying to get inside the minds and hearts of the opposite sex.

Women especially do some serious spending on the subject.  But you’re in luck ladies.  You can stop spending those millions right now because I’ve spelled out for you below what guys really think – and what they wish about women. (I’ll get to what women secretly wish about guys soon, don’t you men worry).

Remember, these below are what I believe most guys truly think – if they’re being honest.  My thoughts on each are included, as well as how I interpret the “guy’s perspective.” Also- many of you will note, these are not such “SECRET” wishes. Yes, guys have been verbal about most of these things for eons.  Some of this is pretty damn deep, and may actually cause you to question your own intentions in your life and relationships, but that’s what I’m here for. Dr. Ms. Cheevious. Now, let’s dive in.

1. DON’T BE A CLING-MEISTER.

Women who are clingy should get a life.  Confidence, intelligence, and spending time with friends – apart from a significant other  – is just plain sexy, and those traits make people more interesting anyway. If you want to lose a guy – and fast – sit around moping until he comes home, let him know how much you missed him while he was gone for an hour, and beg to come with him each time he wants to go out with the guys for a beer (be sure to whine and let your eyes well up).

2. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING.

Ladies, tell your guy what you think!  Especially if he hurt your feelings, or did something to upset you! And not a distilled, filtered, purified version that you “believe” he can handle. None of us are experts on what he or anyone else can handle from us… And well – DUH – he is not a mind reader, for goddsakes. Be transparent, authentic and REAL. Misrepresenting your true self and feelings, or expecting him to figure it out will DEFINITELY backfire.

3. JEALOUS WOMEN ARE NUT JOBS.

Jealousy

“Jealous?  Me? No. Those hot women fawning over him are awesome.  They remind me of how hot he is, and he’s all mine. Uh – huh.  Awesome.” Basically, if you are not secure in your own beauty (inward and outward), and in how he truly feels for you, then what are you doing with the guy? Clarification: I am not condoning smarmy, flirtatious behavior on the part of your guy that is either an obvious ploy to *create* jealousy in you, or just proves how ridiculously ICKY he is (in which case, what are you doing with the guy)?  No, this is all about the fact that being with a man who is attractive to women, but knows to put respect for you first, and to put the attention from other hotties in its place, should be something to be proud of. Enough said.

4. FEMALE SPORTS LOVERS ROCK. (in most cases, for many men)

Image from: http://lineaday.blogspot.com/2011/05/when-you-grow-up-fantasizing-about-pro.html

Example: this football (golf, soccer, fill-in-the-blank) thing on Sundays, Mondays, Thursdays (or any day, really) is so much fun!  Did someone say football pool?  Seriously, not all men actually want their woman around for every Monday Night Football, or (insert any other sport). Guys like to hang out with the guys sometimes as well.  The point is, some men (I’ll admit, not all are sports fanatics) wish women were supportive of their need for sports (or whatever their passion), even if sometimes their “need” seems to extend into many other areas of life.  If it’s a passion of theirs, they want freedom to pursue it, watch it and enjoy it.  If you’re happy to join in sometimes, all the better.  If it is getting in the way of your happiness, then you either need to take a look at whether your demands for attention are balanced, or perhaps you should look for a guy who likes to read books or something (not that there is anything wrong with that).

5. WE HATE NAGGIE-STILTSKINS.

Image from: http://joanne-helpinghands.blogspot.com/2010/03/confessions-of-nagging-wife.html

I so agree with this, ladies.  My take?  If I asked him once… let’s say, to take out the trash (to be stereotypical), or… not to park on the left side of the driveway… and he didn’t (or did) do it, there must be an excellent reason. Don’t nag – COMMUNICATE.  Find a unique and non-threatening way to broach the subject, but do not — REPEAT:  DO NOT bring it up AS. IT. IS. OCCURING… or while you are upset about it. HOLD (AND BITE) YOUR TONGUE. Shelve it for a few hours, or days without stewing over it. Make a mental note and think about a good way to approach it.  Ask a good friend or mentor for advice if you must, but be careful to choose someone you know to be impartial and fair. Then, only when you are confident that you can bring it up without stress, talk about it! And, if you happen to be with a lame-duck kinda guy who always forgets that you asked him to not do something (or vice versa), well it may be time to trade up.  Just sayin’.  Do you really LIKE being a nag?

6. DON’T BE A BAT-SHIT CRAZY STALKER.

VLUU L200 / Samsung L200

 

Stalker girlfriends, once discovered, are dumped pretty damn fast. Plus – if you’re resorting to stalking him, there is not only trouble in paradise, my dear, but also in your head. And not to be confused with cling-meister behavior, which is done in the open, or jealousy, which is a feeling based in insecurity, stalking is general done covertly and in secret. Don’t tell him you’re going out with friends only to spy on him in disguise while he’s out with the guys. Don’t go through his drawers or his cell phone. Do NOT hack his email. Just don’t. Not because of what you may find (though you’ll deal with that soon enough – and then some), but because it’s a clear sign you are in need of some psychiatric help, or at minimum, a life. Learn to trust him, yourself… everyone, because I am guessing if you are resorting to these things, there are some serious issues to deal with here.  Get help.

7. BE WHO YOU ARE. DON’T CHANGE FOR ME.

It takes courage! Be who you are. 100%
 

Though he can’t figure out what you’re thinking, most guys get a sixth sense when a woman is faking enthusiasm over his poker night or if she is just trying too hard.  Besides, that act can only last so long before it all falls apart. If you saw “Runaway Bride” with Julia Roberts, you know what I’m talking about. Under the guise of being “open to try new things” her character “tried” things she KNEW she didn’t like, at the sacrifice of her own happiness. BE WHO YOU ARE. Stick to your guns. Guys respect their woman for her tastes and preferences, and for bringing something unique to the table.

This one is explicit – PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

8. BE SEXUALLY CREATIVE.

Image from: http://mootee.typepad.com/innovation_playground/

Missionary position again? Can we please experiment some?  Trust me on this one… it is not only a guy complaint.  But girls – ya gotta be willing to try new things and have some fun with it.  Bring toys (and I don’t mean your favorite stuffed teddy bear from kindergarten, unless you have something kinky going on there), body oils, sexy photos, porn – whatever.  Be the first on occasion to suggest a trip to the local bikini bar to spice things up if that is your thing (note: I didn’t say if that is “his” thing, because if it is not your thing, you’re not BEING WHO YOU ARE #7).  Whatever you do, just change things up now and then. Also, I would be remiss to omit this one, because it is true:  guys wish their gal absolutely loved giving him blow jobs. There. I said what everyone knows, but hates to say out loud. GUYS WANT HEAD – REGULARLY ladies. The KITTEN is now out of the bag. This is a guy’s DREAM COME TRUE. If it’s not your thing, this is the one place I may even go so far as to say “FAKE IT” HA! That, or find a way to enjoy giving them. Chocolate, anyone? Unless, of course you find the one guy who can’t handle blow jobs, then you’re in luck.

9. BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN.

Image from: http://glasshalffuller.blogspot.com/2010/05/what-superbowl-ads.html

One of the biggest turn-ons for most guys is for a woman to walk around in front of them naked and unashamed.  I don’t mean “parading” yourself in front of him (although I’m sure most guys would love that as well). I’m speaking of every-day life here. When you’ve just had sex, don’t grab the blanket to cover you up while you run off to get dressed in private. It may be a cute stunt once, but if you’re hoping for longevity, you’re going to have to progress here. If this is not your thing, you may want to ask yourself “WHY?” What are you ashamed of? What embarrasses you about how you look? Just remember that negative opinions and feelings are contagious.  Be careful what you project to your guy (and others) about yourself. Remember guys are visual, so they will notice and love if you are unencumbered, but definitely if you make this into a big deal.

More important however, is to love yourself AS.YOU.ARE. Focus on the good things.  But if you don’t like your tummy rolls and you can change it – then do. PERIOD. Which leads me to another aspect of being comfortable in your own skin: Guys love a girl who takes care of herself, physically, medically, and aesthetically. You are lovely. So prove it! Then, birthday suit aside, whatever you decide to wear (in the clothing department), choose wisely. Wear what you love – what makes you feel good, and what you love being in. Otherwise, to a guy, why would you be wearing it? Also, this is an addendum to being creative sexually, but maybe it’s time to get to the closest lingerie shop and find something that looks and FEELS FABULOUS? Just remember – back to #1 (and a constant thread throughout) – Confidence is a SEXY trait. A little bit of whimsy doesn’t hurt either.

10. VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.

Image from: http://www.mryantaylor.com/2010/10/the-spice-of-life-part-i-loving-more-to-live-more/

Ahhh.  This is a HUGE subject. Oh yes, you have heard it talked about before, but you’re going to hear it here, in Ms. Cheevious-ese (?)…  I’ve not yet addressed what many women consider unspeakable – the issue of boredom, and some of the known ways of combating it (or not) in relationships. We’ve all heard of people trying threesomes, hall-passes, and more to stave off “boredom” with a long-term partner.  Are they necessary?  Do they work?  That’s between you and your man.  I will say this:  Let’s face it.  The idea of waking up to the same person, the same body, the same skin, with all the flaws out there in the open day after day – well it at minimum can be intimidating and daunting. It’s not that your man has to have those threesomes or hall passes, or any of the things you’ve heard of (maybe even practiced). Hell no. Every person, and every relationship is completely different.

But it’s important to talk about how are you defining “boredom.”  I personally believe many men are truly not built for monogamy, and love to explore other “grass,” whether it’s greener over there or not. They’re just hard-wired to need their freedom to explore. I won’t get into that psyche, because it simply cannot be hashed out in a single article (or even a book)!  Plus, whether you choose to accept that in your relationship (the hall passes or threesomes, whatever) is – again – between you and your man. But if you are talking about “boredom” in the sense of “tired of” or “weary” then there are some other things going on there, and sometimes people confuse that for the need for “other” or “greener” grass.

When a man grows weary or tired in a relationship it’s generally because the relationship has become all work and no play – all the time. If he is constantly surrounded by the same-ole, getting-stale you, it may cause him to wonder more about what else might be out there. And wonder breeds wander. I’m not telling you to change who you are or that you are old or stale. I’m saying a guy can handle the same you day in and day out a whole lot easier, if he isn’t expected to endure all of your stresses, depressions, worries, fears, hangups (emotional and physical) without also enjoying the equally yummy (confident, non-clingy, non-naggy, sexually creative, etc..) you he came to know and love. Our guys are there to support us through the stresses (or they should be), but they are also hoping we’ll get through it all and get back to enjoying life.

And this my girls is the GRANDADDY of all philosophies right here, and my own personal mantra: ENJOY EVERY MOMENT.  If life is hard, reach out, get help, work through things, and MOVE THE F*CK ON. We all go through rough patches when we aren’t so pleasant to be around. Just don’t let the rough patches keep you from being beautiful inside AND out for long (clinical depression or similar conditions not included).

Before I finish this point, let me close with saying that none of this is bullet proof protection against a guy (or woman, for that matter) fantasizing about threesomes, or your being treated badly or getting dumped. If you are not going through a rough patch, you both laugh and truly enjoy each other’s company and the sex is phenomenal, yet he still wants the hall pass or otherwise, and you’re not into it – well then that may be a deal breaker and he is probably not the guy for you. Or, if you are in a relationship with a selfish, narcissistic, chauvinistic, rude, mean or abusive person, no amount of “work” or “growth” on your part will make things better, and you should dump his ass and MOVE THE F*CK ON.

Men are not generally visceral beings.  As a matter of fact, I find it rare for a man to emote or use intuition much at all when he experiences something with a brand new love interest.  No.  That’s a female thing.

Do you think most men sit around after a fantastic evening with a beautiful lady they’ve just met (maybe there was some kissing or something sexual), and draw conclusions about what she is thinking, or wonder if she’s going to call?  Do you think he romanticizes having kids with you and shopping for a new home?  Nope.  He enjoyed himself physically… probably visually and socially, but the serious or real emotions take a long while for guys.  They have to be in a situation with someone for a long time before they start allowing those emotions into their life.

And girls – guys’ “long” times are so much longer than ours.  Many females think they know if they want to be in a relationship with a guy after only a few dates.  Be honest. How many times did you take it all the way to the thought of “you” sharing his last name, after only a couple of months?  Most times McDreamy or McSteamy never has the chance to catch up emotionally or intuitively, before women start changing who they are, following him around, trying to lure him away from his sports or other passions, clinging to his every move, thus chasing him away.  Let’s give the good guys a break here and focus the work on ourselves, shall we?

Fini! Done! Moving on!

Stay tuned next week for a guest post extra from a fantastic fellow blogger, Liz at www.welovedates.com!  She’ll be talking about how her independence gets in the way and can cause some silly fights. Until next time my lovelies!

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

What to Do About What They Didn’t Teach You In School

by

I apologize that I am starting your week off with this piece of news – especially since now that Easter and Passover is finished, we are happily diving in to Spring… but – well – You are getting older.

Yep. It’s true. No one gets out of this thing without getting older and aging.
I know. Yawwwwwn.

I’ve already heard from the peanut gallery:  “But Ms. Cheevious… we want to hear about something fun that you did in Hollywood!!!”  and “When will you be the same funny blogger we have come to know, love, worship and obey?”

I know.

I KNOW.

Indulge me while I share this important information. I realize that the “Lisa Jey Davis” side of me is not as fun ALL THE DAMN TIME as the Ms. Cheevious side of me, but you would never know just how fun life could be, if you were never faced with real-life shit some of the time. Right?

Just because I’m talking about getting older here does not mean this post is not for you, or that it’s boring, no.  I don’t care how you size it up, but I am never boring.  Slow? Maybe. Blond and ditzy at times?  Definitely.  Boring? No. Nada. Niet. Never.

The truth is, if you are a SMART young thing, you’ll pay attention to this, so that you will still manage to be HOT, GORGEOUS, HEALTHY and FUN when you DO get older… like forty years from now. So listen up.

Last week, I talked about all those things that start happening when you get older and start to go through menopause (from here on out, called Orchids). Similar to puberty (now called Daisies), you’ll start to have some erratic mood swings and acne breakouts.  You’ll suffer water retention and weight gain (particularly if you do hormone replacement therapy) and your hair and skin will change texture and consistency. BLECH!!!  I know.  And the worst of it?  You could be at risk for dementia! So here is what you can do. Watch the video below. It will answer all of your questions. Be sure to post comments below, and if you have any remaining questions, I will be sure to answer them (just make sure you request to be notified when your comments are posted or you’ll have to keep checking back).

If your browser won’t show you the above video, then watch it here.

Tune in next time for Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This youtube channel is NOT to be confused with my Ms. Cheevious channel, which has more comedic funny videos.  You will be visiting the Lisa Jey Davis vlog channel if you follow the above link to YouTube.

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Things They Didn’t Tell You in School About Your Body

by

I originally covered this subject in a Video log (Vlog) post on YouTube (at *www.youtube.com/lisajeydavis). If you’ve followed along in my blog like an addict and read the post where I first introduced those Vlogs – you’ll know that I don’t like to share the Lisa Jey Davis’ stuff in here. Generally.

There are no cross-overs in Ms. Cheevious-land! She stays in her real-world, and I get to be ME, breaking all the rules, taking no prisoners and living out all my fantasies in peace. But she did “create” me. In fact, she is me.  Well, a sweeter, less racy, more “Miss Manners” sort of me. So, here I am pimping her videos instead of mine.  But I digress… The point is, this stuff is important, so the information in this video is coming to life right here on the blog.

When you get older — like, way past the 30’s and 40’s for most adults – there is this THING we all go through, and this, they DO tell us about in school.  It’s called Menopause.

It’s such an ugly word – menopause.  I’ve said it many times (though perhaps here it’s a first): Because Menopause is an ugly word, I’ve renamed it Orchids. We all know from school that everyone goes through “Orchids” when they get older.  It’s a right of passage into our senior citizen years, much like Puberty (now called Daisies because Puberty is an awful, ugly word as well) is a right of passage from pre-teen into adulthood.

Let me make something very clear, before going on:  I am too young for “Orchids.”  The only reason I know anything about this, is because I was medically required to remove most of my female parts (see that post here), which thrust me suddenly and abruptly into Orchids.  So, this is not just for senior citizens here, people.  You TWENTY-SOMETHINGS should pay attention now, so you can move through life informed of what’s coming. Perhaps then you’ll choose to enjoy every moment while you still can.  Seriously though, entering and enduring Orchids does NOT mean the end of the world or quality of life as you know it.  Quite the contrary.  I’m more comfortable in my own skin and happy with me than I’ve ever been.  I’m still LOVING life, and enjoying every single moment.  Anyone can.

Also, because I AM in Orchids, I am now an expert. Capiche?

The only real thing about Orchids they warned us about in school is that something hormonal happens which causes women to get bat-shit crazy and all “super-hormonal” up in the faces of everyone they know and love. My only experience with it before now was how my mom’s tone of voice became super shrill and freak-of-nature intense.  That’s about it. Oh, and she cut her hair short.

What they don’t tell you about Orchids is that in many ways it’s very similar to Daisies.  Here are a few of the take-aways:

1.  It’s very similar to Daisies in that your skin changes.

2. Your hair changes (get ready people).

3. You’ll retain water on a daily basis (that is, if you must supplement your body with hormones – or Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)), and no matter what, you WILL gain weight, because your body goes into survival mode if it isn’t producing hormones anymore (for women, Estrogen & Progesterone) and holds onto fat cells, which happen to be the last remaining body component that has hormones in it.  Yep.  Pull out the fat clothes (at least until you figure it out and get things back to normal).

4. If you opt to do HRT, it can cause the dreaded — drum roll —

Eh… I don’t think I’ll tell you here.  You’ll have to watch the following video to get the rest of the scoop on what they don’t tell us in school!!  And there are some DOOZIES you’ll want to know about!

Trust me. Though it’s serious subject matter here, I think you’ll enjoy this video.  You may even laugh just a little. If you don’t see the video viewer below, here is the link: http://youtu.be/J1B6IZ9f0uE

See?  That was pretty painless, wasn’t it?  And I am still here.  I am not cutting my hair.  We’re all okay here.  There’s no need to panic.

If you happened to find this video funny, informative or helpful in anyway, feel free to share this post with your friends.

Tune in next time for tips on handling this lovely new information! If you haven’t already watched it in my vlogs, I’ll showcase it here.  Soon, I’ll be talking about the Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This channel is not to be confused with the Ms. Cheevious channel.  Lisa Jey Davis’ vlogs on her channel regularly.

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Take Care of YOU – 5 Things You Can Do For a Better You

by

Ahhh.  The way to a better YOU.  We ALL need this information, trust me. Our planet is getting so stinkin’ toxic, I’m surprised we aren’t all glowing (and I don’t mean the good kind of glow that they say about brides.  I’m talking the nuclear reactor kind of glow).

To be clear, I am a student in this matter. So, under no circumstances am I claiming to be an expert in the field of health and wellness, and if you do these things and get sick, well – I’m not GOD people!  Just sayin’. But I’m still smart. So, listen up. Here’s another component of this post:

When you don’t feel well, get help, would you?

Here are some examples (not to be taken literally) of what I’m talking about when I say “don’t feel well”:

  • You’ve been feeling a little congested, and then you wake up one morning with a scratchy throat, OR
  • Your knee hurts off and on.  Not all the time, but it regularly bothers you and inhibits your from doing some of the things you like to do, OR
  • Your other knee hurts when the first one stops hurting, OR
  • You have a back ache, OR
  • Geez.  How many examples do you need?

I don’t know what it is people, but for some reason we put off seeking medical attention, or even health attention (massages, dentists, eye doctors, chiropractors, etc..).  We’ll go for weeks on end kvetching about our aches and pains, and suffer through it, but we just won’t make the call and make an appointment.

I did this recently, myself.  My back was hurting.  BAD.

I don’t get “back aches.” This was a new one for me.  I had one in the past, and went through weeks of chiropractic therapy after a car accident, so when I got my recent back ache, I was nervous.  I stopped working out for fear of further damaging my back or something else, or worse, not being able to do the workout because it hurt too much, thus wasting my time.  I wasn’t sleeping well because of the throbbing, and I took way too many prescription ibuprofen pills (which I had left-over from my surgery). Needless to say, I was doing that thing.  That thing I just talked about at the beginning.  I suffered for two weeks without making the call or making the appointment. Talk about loss of TIME.

Then I finally went in to my chiropracter and was whipped into shape (no pun intended – get it? Whip-lash? Whipped into shape by my chiropractor? Anyway.) within a matter of about two minutes. I’m not kidding. I talk about this in my related vlog “Take Care of You – Enjoy Every Day with Lisa Jey.”

And though I may not be an expert in health and wellness, I do consider myself to be an expert pamperer of myself, indulging in far too many — “indulgences” — often, and well – you get the idea.

Basically, I like to eat bonbons, and preferably hand-fed or served to me by hot, ripped men in boxer briefs.

So here’s the deal.  We are all like this.  We all procrastinate getting help with something, even to the point of inconvenience (my back ache was inconveniencing me all over the place… making working out, sleeping and so much else muddled if existent at all), so why even let it get to that point?  Let’s just take care of US, and be BETTER all around!

Mark my words, if we actually DO these five things, we’ll find ourselves much less inconvenienced, and far happier, healthier people who feel GOOD… basically BETTER.

5 Things You Can Do for a Better You

1.  Take a bath. Often. I’m not talking about the “quick bath to get cleaned up” kind of bath.  I’m talking about the “lady of leisure-luxurious lifestyle-bath salts or bath oils” kind. The kind that takes about an hour. DO IT.

2. Read something old fashioned. Sit away from the computer, in a quiet place, once a day and read something that is written by hand or typed on this stuff we call “paper”.  Anything.  Your favorite news paper (mine is the New York Observer), a stack of your old poetry or journals from years ago, a favorite magazine (one of mine is “Esquire”), even a guilty-pleasure-Harlequin Romance.  I don’t care what it is.  Just do it.

3. Get Active. Do something active at least three times a week.  Walk, park far away at the mall (so you have to walk more), take three different trips up the stairs to the same office appointment… just for the heck of it, or gee – maybe – – GO TO THE GYM?  But get active and get the endorphins going in your bod.

4. Get Outta Here. Get outside when the weather is nice.  This means you will have to STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER once again.  But that’s a good thing.  Even if it means driving someplace with the windows open in the car, or the top down.  Let the SUN shine down on you.  The sun actually causes us to access those endorphin thingy-ma-jigs…

5. Get GOOD sleep. If you must, take some Benadryl or something holistic like melatonin to help you, but get a GOOD night’s sleep REGULARLY. Sleep deprivation is a leading cause of illness. If you don’t take care of the sleep thing, and you get sick, don’t come crying to me.  You have been warned.

There.  That wasn’t so hard.  Now you are already on your way to a BETTER you.

PFFFAWWW.  As IF you needed to get any better.

And, if you do all these things and still get sick, or injured or an ailment?  Well then, GO SEE SOMEONE, geez.  That’s takes us right back to where we started from, now doesn’t it?

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on my related vlog here.

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious