I was inspired to write this post, because of all the snow talk… talk of the record-breaking blizzards and snow storms that hit the Northeast here in the U.S. over the past few days.
Do you recall last winter (remember, back in 2011 and 2012?), how people seemed astonished by how mild the weather was? The entire country was convinced that there was truth to the global warming thing, because it seemed that none of the ski areas had good snow. Some never even opened. In the entire country.
That’s a huge landscape people.
People whined and complained about it. I always listen in disbelief when people talk about the winter being too warm. When I was a kid, I was out sunbathing in sixty degree weather. I lived for “warm.” But complaining about a mild winter? That’s risky. I love how the blogger Dooce stated that she wanted to butt into those conversations with a can of mace:
“Because the Universe? It is always listening. And it’s like, oh? Really? You want snow? YOU JUST WAIT. Because this winter I’m going to pin you down and shove snow down your maw so hard you that are going to poop ice through Labor Day.
The Universe was so not kidding. In fact, the Universe is Tony Soprano.”
M.C. Nugget (my beau) and I were guilty of this very same whining and complaining last year ourselves. We weren’t thrilled with the mere pittance of snowfall received at Mammoth Ski Area, because it was the one and only place in years that either one of us had relented and actually bought and paid for a season pass. So, in a sense, we had every right to complain. We had a vested interest, and the great Mountain did not deliver.
But I gotta tell you something. Here in Southern California, it was only a few short weeks ago we were shocked and awed by our 85 degree summer-like weather. We’d just gotten a few weeks past the news of the East coast Hurricane Sandy horrors, and still, things here grew warmer and balmier.
People were talking about it, and loving life here on the sunny left coast. I overheard someone saying how they remembered Januaries here as always experiencing a bit of a heat wave. I don’t have a recollection of it being the case every year, but eh? What did I care? It was warm and yummy out. That was good enough for me. I nodded and smiled.
Then over the course of the next few weeks our warm balmy weather started to turn cloudy, foggy, rainy. What was happening? I tried to ignore it. I thought surely it was a freak of nature and our warm balmy breezes would soon return. No. We had some ups and downs. It would get warm, and then it was like the universe was having a wicked, amusement with us, wringing it’s hands “Mwahahaha…” It was warm, then cold. Sunny, then foggy. Warm again for a few days last week, and our hopes were kindled. We breathed out in relief.
But then it happened. No sooner did the weather forecasters warn of dangerous blizzards, record-breaking temperatures and snow falls on the East coast, that we here in Santa Monica started to feel the chill in the air again too. The wind and rain and chill grew more intense.
As I put on my Uggs, and pull my puffy coat back out of the crevice in the closet reserved for forgotten winter gear to run a quick errand, I’m a little miffed. NO. I’m EXTREMELY MIFFED. I’m kinda tired of hearing about your snow problems. First it’s “There isn’t enough snow! wah wah wah”… then it’s “OH NO… THERE IS TOO MUCH SNOW.” Which is it people?
Someone took my SUNSHINE, for goddsakes. That is just wrong. And I think the East coast is to blame. The record breaking cold temperatures, snowfall and dangerous blizzards probably caused some kind of planetary shift in weather patterns… so it’s bye bye warm and sunny, hello gooey, dewy, drizzly, foggy schmutzy weather.
So, there shall be no more whining about your sad snow. There has been quite enough whiny snow talk. Boo hoo hoo… you’re too cold? Well so am I. So stop your whining, UNKAY? I want my Indian Summer back! If you’d like to appease me or set my mind at ease, you could send me some Irish Whiskey or something to warm me up. That might help.
Now I think I better go out for a walk on the cool, brisk beach.
Love you people!!!! Mmmmmpppphhhuuuhhhh!!!
xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious
aka Lisa Jey Davis
Editor in [Mis] Chief
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During Patricia W. Fischer’s journey to be a full-time storyteller, she made several stops along the way to be a waitress, bartender, bill-collector, bank teller, clerk at Blockbuster Video, dishwasher, prep-cook, a wannabe crypto-zoologist, and finally settling in as a pediatric and adult trauma/critical care nurse for 10 years. Then she started her career as a writer.