Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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Lessons Learned While Conquering the World – #1 Over-Committing is a Bitch

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From my view, we’re all over-achievers.  If you aren’t, I’m quite surprised, and well, I’m not sure why you’re here. Stop now, and get back to your futon and bonbons, because this is where the shit gets real.  After much trial and error (and I do mean “much”) in my own personal life, I’d like to share with you some of the lessons I’ve learned on life’s road, while conquering and achieving great things (or not).  This is a multi-part series, because hell, I’m old.  These lessons may surprise you.  They may also liberate you. So, we’ll start on the topic of commitments and goals. Oy.

Lesson 1 – Over-Committing is a Bitch

1. I am not a machine.

Contrary to what I (and others) sometimes think, it is important for me to remember from whence I came, and that is from my mother’s womb, which means I am a mere human.  Much as I’d like to believe I can add more RAM or simply boost my band width in order to accomplish everything and anything I put my mind to, at all times, it is just not possible. I can dream big all I want (and I will eventually realize those dreams if I persevere but I may not realize them all at once) but no amount of dreaming will ever make me non-human.

The photo above proves I am mere human, and is for anyone who (in thinking they could do it all) ever tried to cut their own hair (raises hand). It’s also for anyone who lost their front tooth (or both) right before the holidays (raises other hand). It is also a gentle reminder to myself of how human I was then and will always be.

2. My batteries *must* be recharged.

I know, I say I’m not a machine, so it’s not clear why the next logical step to discuss is charging my batteries — an energy source for machines.  I may be mixing metaphors here, but there is a point. Though I tend to think I can pile the responsibilities on and take on new projects infinitum, I am always proven otherwise and am constantly reminded of my humanness. Even with these constant “reminders,” somehow I continue to forget this important fact. I know I must recharge the batteries after a big exertion or event. It’s common sense. Regardless of how true this fact is, I still have to remind myself of it. Jumping back into every project and the pursuit of every life-goal, just as soon as the doctors said it was medically “okay,” to do so after my surgeries in January, was not the sharpest of decisions. It took some time, but yes, I was recently “reminded” that I am not invincible. The world handed me my walking papers in a few areas…

3. My Goals Will Always Be There.

Sometimes we (I) need to give all or some of the goals a rest.  2012’s goals can easily be rolled over into 2013.  I’m not saying anyone should give up on their goals. I’m not saying my goals are unachievable.  I’m saying to give yourself a break and give them a rest if all the signs are pointing either away from those goals, or to other options. When every.single.thing and every person you know is now an obstacle to reaching those goals, well, it’s probably time to take a serious look at them.  And perhaps it’s not other “things” or people.  Perhaps it’s that all your own personal efforts to realize your goals have failed miserably, which tells you it is definitely time to take another look.  Try to determine what could be the cause. I’ve learned that sometimes, if I put those goals aside for just a season or a period of time, they’ll be there waiting for me.  My doe-eyed, dazed (from abandon), yet ready-when-I-am goals… they’ll be waiting… until I finally realize them.

4. Take Things OFF Your Plate, Before the Universe Does it For You.

Stack of Papers

I know when I’m over-extended. The signs are pretty obvious: 1) things have been stacking up and slipping through the cracks; 2) I’ve completely dropped the ball on something (or things) recently; 3) The exhaustion or ill-health meter is peaking; and/or 4) My bat-shit-crazy-bitch level has peaked and made even my closest friends cringe.  So, trust me. If you’ve received these subtle warnings, it’s TIME to cut back. These signs are gentle reminders, but they are a precursor to that loud, obnoxious, outward manifestation of your utter and complete demise if you do not pay attention to them…

5. Focus Your Energy.

If you are a POWER personality, you’ve already seen it:  the fact that the universe is a playground of opportunities. To quote a wise old man, “Your blessings can be your greatest curses.”  In this context, it means that every opportunity is not always a good thing. Develop a keen ability to hone in on only those efforts that will aid in achieving your goals.

6. Don’t do the “Bigger Better Deal” Flake-Out.

We all know at least one gorgeous, lovely, go-getter individual. They can be fun, full of life, effervescent, and magnetic in energy.  They can also be notorious for the “Bigger Better Deal” Flake-Out. These are the people who love to be involved in or attend every party, event, conference, project — you name it!  Until, that is, something better comes along. They get sucked in by the appeal of the new “thing” and over-commit.  It’s a pitfall of immaturity. If you’ve read this, you have no excuse now. I learned this lesson a LONNNG time ago, although I still find myself in situations that I must back out of after I’ve committed. It’s a process. But resist the temptation to involve yourself in every *good* thing that comes along, and see only those things you can effectively participate in as viable options.

These are just a few of the lessons I have learned while conquering the world.  I’m still working on that “conquering” part. Tune in next time for Lessons Learned While Conquering the World #2: Be the Person You’d Want Your Kids to Be – or something along those lines.

Have a fantastic week everyone!  Love, kisses, and lots of chocolate! (I’m on a low-carb thing, so your chocolate is in my dreams).

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in (Mis) Chief

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Silly Fights, Independence and a Damn Sandwich

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Liz writes for We Love Dates, a worldwide online dating site and dating advice blog.

Hang out with them on Twitter, Facebook or Google+!

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My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight at Subway the other day. Just writing that sentence annoys me on so many different levels. 1) I don’t even like Subway and we just stopped in because he was getting hungry and 2) I don’t want to be a couple who fights (in public!) about a damn sandwich. Like literally-this isn’t a deep metaphor here people-we were sharing a footlong and he wanted cheese, I didn’t…quite the controversy that resulted in me crying in the car on the way home.

Not my brightest moment.

Because I over analyze everything like it’s my job, I kept thinking about World War Subway well after we had kissed, boned and made-up. While some fights are just silly and insignificant, and aren’t worth a second thought, I had a stinking suspicion that there was more to the story than a piece of cheese. I was right.

I am madly in love with my boyfriend. I won’t bore you, but he’s fucking fantastic. I knew he was the one the moment I laid eyes on him on our first online date, and we’ve been together ever since. We’ve traveled the world together and are in the process of buying our first home. We’re a team…a unit. If we were super lame, we’d have a “couple” name, ala “Bennifer.” You can’t have one without the other, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve always been fiercely independent though. Growing up as a twin, I had to fight everyday to set myself apart from my (fabulous) sister. I didn’t like being bound together, identity wise, with someone else. I wanted to stand on my own two feet and be my own person. That fighting spirit, and fear of losing my identity has stayed with me into adulthood.

Being in a long term, serious relationship has shifted my identity and admittedly, I was having a difficult time shifting my mindset along with it. In the days and weeks leading up to the fight, I knew I was feeling like I was losing myself, just a bit, and a part of me was hanging on tight, kicking and screaming to my independence. So as silly as it is, when my boyfriend ordered one sandwich for us to share, I freaked out.

“What about MY needs and wants?”
“What if I want my OWN?”
“What if for once, I just don’t want to share?”

Crickets…I told you it wasn’t my brightest moment. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend thought he was being Punk’d.

The thing is though, had the fight not happened, I’d be typing this blog post from an entirely different place. I’d probably still be clinging to my independence in the wrong ways, and building up resentment towards a guy who has made it his life’s mission to make me happy. Instead, because it was so unlike me to fly off the handle like that, I’ve been able to do a bit of self reflection and am now able to nurture those independent parts of me that make me, me. I’ve been able to put my big girl pants on and communicate to my boyfriend how I feel like my own personal spark is being a bit stifled, and together, we are working on finding ways to light it back up again.

Yes. Together. Because at the end of the day, subway freak-outs or not, I don’t want to be someone who doesn’t need anyone. I don’t want to be so married to my independence that I won’t let someone share my life. Or my sandwich.

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That’s it my lovelies!  Do us all a favor would you?  Welcome Ms. Liz to the fold, and post lots and lots of comments telling her how wonderful she is!  Stay tuned next week for a post about something very juicy (that burger image made me hungry – rawrrr).

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmmphhhhuuuhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

What to Do About What They Didn’t Teach You In School

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I apologize that I am starting your week off with this piece of news – especially since now that Easter and Passover is finished, we are happily diving in to Spring… but – well – You are getting older.

Yep. It’s true. No one gets out of this thing without getting older and aging.
I know. Yawwwwwn.

I’ve already heard from the peanut gallery:  “But Ms. Cheevious… we want to hear about something fun that you did in Hollywood!!!”  and “When will you be the same funny blogger we have come to know, love, worship and obey?”

I know.

I KNOW.

Indulge me while I share this important information. I realize that the “Lisa Jey Davis” side of me is not as fun ALL THE DAMN TIME as the Ms. Cheevious side of me, but you would never know just how fun life could be, if you were never faced with real-life shit some of the time. Right?

Just because I’m talking about getting older here does not mean this post is not for you, or that it’s boring, no.  I don’t care how you size it up, but I am never boring.  Slow? Maybe. Blond and ditzy at times?  Definitely.  Boring? No. Nada. Niet. Never.

The truth is, if you are a SMART young thing, you’ll pay attention to this, so that you will still manage to be HOT, GORGEOUS, HEALTHY and FUN when you DO get older… like forty years from now. So listen up.

Last week, I talked about all those things that start happening when you get older and start to go through menopause (from here on out, called Orchids). Similar to puberty (now called Daisies), you’ll start to have some erratic mood swings and acne breakouts.  You’ll suffer water retention and weight gain (particularly if you do hormone replacement therapy) and your hair and skin will change texture and consistency. BLECH!!!  I know.  And the worst of it?  You could be at risk for dementia! So here is what you can do. Watch the video below. It will answer all of your questions. Be sure to post comments below, and if you have any remaining questions, I will be sure to answer them (just make sure you request to be notified when your comments are posted or you’ll have to keep checking back).

If your browser won’t show you the above video, then watch it here.

Tune in next time for Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This youtube channel is NOT to be confused with my Ms. Cheevious channel, which has more comedic funny videos.  You will be visiting the Lisa Jey Davis vlog channel if you follow the above link to YouTube.

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Take Care of YOU – 5 Things You Can Do For a Better You

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Ahhh.  The way to a better YOU.  We ALL need this information, trust me. Our planet is getting so stinkin’ toxic, I’m surprised we aren’t all glowing (and I don’t mean the good kind of glow that they say about brides.  I’m talking the nuclear reactor kind of glow).

To be clear, I am a student in this matter. So, under no circumstances am I claiming to be an expert in the field of health and wellness, and if you do these things and get sick, well – I’m not GOD people!  Just sayin’. But I’m still smart. So, listen up. Here’s another component of this post:

When you don’t feel well, get help, would you?

Here are some examples (not to be taken literally) of what I’m talking about when I say “don’t feel well”:

  • You’ve been feeling a little congested, and then you wake up one morning with a scratchy throat, OR
  • Your knee hurts off and on.  Not all the time, but it regularly bothers you and inhibits your from doing some of the things you like to do, OR
  • Your other knee hurts when the first one stops hurting, OR
  • You have a back ache, OR
  • Geez.  How many examples do you need?

I don’t know what it is people, but for some reason we put off seeking medical attention, or even health attention (massages, dentists, eye doctors, chiropractors, etc..).  We’ll go for weeks on end kvetching about our aches and pains, and suffer through it, but we just won’t make the call and make an appointment.

I did this recently, myself.  My back was hurting.  BAD.

I don’t get “back aches.” This was a new one for me.  I had one in the past, and went through weeks of chiropractic therapy after a car accident, so when I got my recent back ache, I was nervous.  I stopped working out for fear of further damaging my back or something else, or worse, not being able to do the workout because it hurt too much, thus wasting my time.  I wasn’t sleeping well because of the throbbing, and I took way too many prescription ibuprofen pills (which I had left-over from my surgery). Needless to say, I was doing that thing.  That thing I just talked about at the beginning.  I suffered for two weeks without making the call or making the appointment. Talk about loss of TIME.

Then I finally went in to my chiropracter and was whipped into shape (no pun intended – get it? Whip-lash? Whipped into shape by my chiropractor? Anyway.) within a matter of about two minutes. I’m not kidding. I talk about this in my related vlog “Take Care of You – Enjoy Every Day with Lisa Jey.”

And though I may not be an expert in health and wellness, I do consider myself to be an expert pamperer of myself, indulging in far too many — “indulgences” — often, and well – you get the idea.

Basically, I like to eat bonbons, and preferably hand-fed or served to me by hot, ripped men in boxer briefs.

So here’s the deal.  We are all like this.  We all procrastinate getting help with something, even to the point of inconvenience (my back ache was inconveniencing me all over the place… making working out, sleeping and so much else muddled if existent at all), so why even let it get to that point?  Let’s just take care of US, and be BETTER all around!

Mark my words, if we actually DO these five things, we’ll find ourselves much less inconvenienced, and far happier, healthier people who feel GOOD… basically BETTER.

5 Things You Can Do for a Better You

1.  Take a bath. Often. I’m not talking about the “quick bath to get cleaned up” kind of bath.  I’m talking about the “lady of leisure-luxurious lifestyle-bath salts or bath oils” kind. The kind that takes about an hour. DO IT.

2. Read something old fashioned. Sit away from the computer, in a quiet place, once a day and read something that is written by hand or typed on this stuff we call “paper”.  Anything.  Your favorite news paper (mine is the New York Observer), a stack of your old poetry or journals from years ago, a favorite magazine (one of mine is “Esquire”), even a guilty-pleasure-Harlequin Romance.  I don’t care what it is.  Just do it.

3. Get Active. Do something active at least three times a week.  Walk, park far away at the mall (so you have to walk more), take three different trips up the stairs to the same office appointment… just for the heck of it, or gee – maybe – – GO TO THE GYM?  But get active and get the endorphins going in your bod.

4. Get Outta Here. Get outside when the weather is nice.  This means you will have to STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER once again.  But that’s a good thing.  Even if it means driving someplace with the windows open in the car, or the top down.  Let the SUN shine down on you.  The sun actually causes us to access those endorphin thingy-ma-jigs…

5. Get GOOD sleep. If you must, take some Benadryl or something holistic like melatonin to help you, but get a GOOD night’s sleep REGULARLY. Sleep deprivation is a leading cause of illness. If you don’t take care of the sleep thing, and you get sick, don’t come crying to me.  You have been warned.

There.  That wasn’t so hard.  Now you are already on your way to a BETTER you.

PFFFAWWW.  As IF you needed to get any better.

And, if you do all these things and still get sick, or injured or an ailment?  Well then, GO SEE SOMEONE, geez.  That’s takes us right back to where we started from, now doesn’t it?

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on my related vlog here.

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Go Big or – Don’t

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I planned to name this post “Don’t Be a Weekling” and talk about the incessant grind from week to week. 7 days a week..and how hard it is to get up the gumption to dive back into a new week over and over and over again with smiles, cheer and all the good intentions we need in our arsenals just to make it from day to day.  I was planning to drudge on about these things, but then I did full reversal. I realized looking at life like that is really the stuff of WEAKLINGs.

So, anyway…

I changed my mind. Why?  I’m not sure.  Maybe it’s because I’ve not been really “working” since November (and since all my medical stuff needed attention). I’ve been writing, vlogging and editing (editorial and video editing, the latter of which I kinda love, frankly, but none of which pays the bills, presently).

Now, I just want things to be easy.  I am really sort of dreading getting back to any manner of REAL schedule where I have to be somewhere or do something at a given time (translation: I don’t even want to schedule a conference call with you. No. Even if you want to “hire” me as your publicist or marketing guru to do great things for you. Capiche?).  Do you feel me?  I am just a little … ambivalent.

I suppose it’s not all that new for me.  I did make 2012 my year to solely teach SPX Fitness, while I take time to finish my book (I talked about it in my “Delve Into Twelve” video and its sister blog post).  But really, I’d be okay doing nothing!

So then I thought I would stick to my tried and true beliefs in this post – the old “Go Big or Go Home,” but even that, I just couldn’t hang my hat on, and a title that epitomized its antithesis (Go Big, or – Well – Go However You’d Like to Go) just didn’t work .  So thus,  the title we now have.

I know, I know.  I’m always rallying the troops, blowing the “You can do anything you put your mind to” horn; the positive thinking, positive actions, positive intentions round.  I’m the queen of horn blowing, and surprising as it sounds, I actually tend to put my actions,  mind and beliefs (even my money) truly where my mouth is.

Even as a Baby, I was Blowing that Horn!

It’s exhausting, though.  I must say.

And another thing.  I’ve found myself thinking an awful lot lately about how great it was when I was a kid.  I have never been one to think like that.  I love my life, and generally, the thought of going back is very unappealing.  Lately though, I’ll hear a song that reminds me of riding in the car with my mom or dad as a kid, on the way to a birthday party, or the neighborhood pool, and I just want to go back there.  I want my mommy!  I want my daddy, who once, when he was in charge and had to take me to the doctors  (and he really had little clue), he left me in the car outside of the PX at the air-force base afterward, and came back out with a brand new surprise Turntable Barbie (the kind that you put on the middle of the turntable on your record player, and she spun around while the record played)! That was AWESOME. All my siblings were so jealous. That rocked.

As much as I’ve always said, I’d never like to have a “do over” of my childhood, I guess if I could go back and be a little girl whose every need is met by her loving parents, and whose siblings are all in it together – well, hmmm.  I’m tempted.  Especially if there are no schedules or requirements.  So, I guess I would have to go back during Summer vacation.

So, as we prepare to enter another week — another MONDAY — where we will all feel compelled to be responsible and make money, or connections or whatever – well, eh – I’m a little tired.

Normal me would say “You can do it!  Get up and get going!  Don’t let anyone tell you different.  Just wake up, take a shower, dress to impress (yourself) and get out there and make some things happen! Remember you hold the keys to your happiness…Go big or go home, baby!” blah blaH BLAH, whatever, WHATEVER.

So this week – if you’d like to, and you have the energy and determination, then by all means, GO BIG!

For me – well – I am thinking it’s gonna’ be “opposite day” for a while.

So, I’ll be over here cheering you on from the sofa.  Me, in the beach palace, waving at you in all your glory. I’ll be reminiscing on riding in the car with my parents,  listening to “Rock the Boat” or something cool like that.  I think I’m just gonna’ be a (insert mocking child’s voice)  “little tiny girl” and do whatever the hell I want.

If you get tired, bored or agitated in any way, just know you can join me at any time.  Our battle cry will be “Onward couch potatoes. Pass the bon bons.”

Don’t worry. We’ll rally soon enough!

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Life is a Theatre – Invite Your Audience Carefully

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The following is posted because of the very special request of a very special member of our Ms. Cheevious Community.  It’s someone who knows me and has been to my home, to see this very clip posted on my refrigerator.  I wish I could say I wrote the wise words below, but I did not.  A wonderfully insightful and wise therapist gave this to me when I was going through my divorce and rebuilding my life.  I expressed the desire to make wise decisions, because as a “giver” I had grown up with a bad habit of filling in the gaps for many, if not all, of my relationships.  I out-gave most everyone I knew, and I realized that things were out of balance.  I wanted to rebuild in a healthy way, and this is what she gave to me. I found it to be so “spot-on” and profound, well, after my dear friend suggested I post it, I agreed.

The author is anonymous, though I’d love to meet him or her, as these words are golden to me — often — and can be a source of strength for us all, especially as we come into this wonderful time of year – The Holidays.  It’s a time when we “givers” find it very difficult not to over-give, and it’s also a very fragile and emotional time for some, as relationships can be so sticky and sensitive.  I think we all should post this on our refrigerators, put a copy in our brief cases, note books, journals, whatever.  But without further adieu, let’s dive in:

Life is a Theatre – Invite Your Audience Carefully

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least minimize, your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships and friendships.

Observe the relationships around you.  Pay attention.  Which ones lift and which ones lean?  Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on the path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?

Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the fton row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

If you cannot “change” the people around you, change the people you’re around.

Here it is as an image as well.  Enjoy.

Life is a Theatre - Invite Your Audience Carefully

Know that regardless of the lack of attention you may be receiving from those you love, you are not the first, you are not alone, and there are many, many others sharing your experience underneath the very same great big sky.  We have all been there, if we are not there now, and on behalf of all of them, us, we…  I’m sending my love, warmth and grand applause for the you that walks this earth. Someone in your world notices.  Put them in your front row.

Love you people!!!!!  Mmmmmppphhhuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious