Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

Lisa Jey Davis

Inner Giggle Override

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Thursday night was the opening of the play “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” the masterpiece by Tennessee Williams, in which my man M.C. Nugget* stars as the male lead, “Brick.” The play opened in Santa Barbara, which is about an hour and a half north of Los Angeles.

On Thursday afternoon at about 2:30 PM I headed up the coast. I won’t give every detail of that debacle of a road trip, but suffice it to say that the super intelligent MapQuest app for my iPhone, when coupled with the blonde hair on my head, erroneously led me through FARM country, with one-lane roads frequented by gigantic tractors. It extended my drive by about, oh an hour. Once I made it to Santa Barbara, I immediately met up with Nuggie and sat down for a cocktail before I did a single.other.thing.

Nuggie gave me advance warning about the length of the play, and was interested to see how the audience would fare for three hours (with one intermission). The verdict? It was stupendous. We (the audience) were enthralled. We laughed, we were tense, we got emotional. Watching and taking-in their production felt like living a great piece of literature.

Afterward, some of the cast, crew and I went out to a nearby restaurant. We must have been giving off that “I love abuse. Would you please treat me badly?” vibe, because we experienced some incredibly inexplicable, bad service. It didn’t matter that we were giving them more money than they (or their food/beverages) were worth. After about forty minutes of abuse (at midnight), the place closed and we headed to a little dive bar called the Wild Cat. From the outside it looked like the kind of place where patrons regularly exit through the plate-glass window. But inside was a mixed-bag of “wild.” There were go-go dancers in the back, beer stained Mardi Gras beads hanging from Jack Daniel’s mirrors from the 70’s, and a clientele that appeared to be gay, but even that became mixed within minutes of our arrival. Apparently many places in Santa Barbara close at midnight during the week.

Speaking of adult beverages (we weren’t, but we were going to),  I believe all humans have a “Stop Drinking Alert System” (SDAS). My SDAS is constantly overridden by other, more powerful forces. Said forces include a) having too little to eat, being b) hormonal, c) tired, d) dehydrated, e) over-worked, f) under-worked, g) broke, h) landing a new client, i) receiving a big windfall of cash, or j) having a friend who wants to celebrate and/or drown in their sorrows. I’m exaggerating, of course, but when you’ve lived any kind of a life, you tend to rack up situations ripe for “SDAS override.”

On Thursday it was my inner giggle that trumped the SDAS. This wasn’t all my fault. Perhaps it was the difficult drive from earlier, or the lack of sleep which has become all too common lately.  But on top of that, one of the cast members — she played “May” – kept cracking funny jokes and BUSTING ME UP! We became BFFs faster than the bar could close at 1:30 AM and shove our giggly butts through the plate glass window (no, they did not even try, and I was a little miffed).

The problem with those evenings when the laughter is “just right” (not too giddy, not too silly) and the drinks seem to be bottomless, is that no one ever wants the evening to end. Ms. May happily announced there was more wine back at the hotel. So, naturally we all gathered in one of the rooms and drank that wine (and laughed more) for three more hours.

Three more hours.

M.C. Nugget’s suggestions to put the evening (and me) to bed fell on deaf ears… or laughing lips.

Ms. May and I were like two sorority girls giggling about the frat boys across the room. It was utterly ridiculous and more pointless fun than I’ve had in a very long time.

But I’m tired now.

I had no idea my inner giggle could so easily override my Stop Drinking Alert System and keep me awake into the wee hours of the morning. This, after I’d slept a whole four hours the previous night. I’d like to know if there is such thing as an Inner Giggle Override, and if so, where can I pick one up? Amazon?

Tune in next time you gorgeous individuals, when I’ll have something extra special for ya.

Love you people!!!! Mmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in (Mis) Chief

*M.C. Nugget and the entire cast of characters on Ms. Cheevious are described here.

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Other articles you may enjoy from Ms. Cheevious:

Are You a Friend of Bill?

Where Ms. Cheevious talks about her experience with this secret guy.. or code… or whatever…

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HIT ME BEE-OTCH!

Where Ms. Cheevious’ hair stylist, Scissor Sister shares the naughty, hilair-lair details of her trip to Vegas.

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Things We Enjoyed This Week: Esquire Magazine

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We’re pleased to launch a new series for MsCheevious.com, entitled Things We Enjoyed This Week. (And by ‘we” of course, “we” mean me – Editor in (Mis) Chief, and primary writer here). This little nugget will come to you as frequent as those things we enjoy are revealed to us – and equally as seldom. Let’s try not to keep track, shall we?

Things We Enjoyed This Week – The Week of August 26, 2012

September’s Esquire Magazine

Recent issue read, cover-to-cover: September 2012, Volume 153, No. 2

Why: It’s intelligent, interesting and doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s also environmentally friendly (in this month’s note from David Granger, Editor in Chief, he cleverly wove his obsession with energy into an interesting and witty introduction of an article on the United States’ use of oil and the tar sands. Sounds dry, but he forayed that into a teaser-finish on a article still brewing about natural gas, and, he was able to “still be crazily entertaining.”).

One Thing We Especially Liked: Esquire Indulges, page 42

It’s a page devoted to requests by readers, and this little gem shows up in the Front of Book, which means there’s a boat load of good, meaty reading to follow.

Kudos to the magazine for recognizing that its writers and editors don’t hold an exclusive on good ideas.

Our favorite from this page? Recent Birth Announcements by A.J. Jacobs.

Jacobs brings little known current events as well as social mores or cultural quips to our attention in the form of witty birth announcements (Below are re-config’d samples – a cheap attempt at replicating what you will see in the magazine):

There’s bouncing baby boy “My Grudge” –

And little whipper snapper “Sin” –

To see what’s in the issue in a nutshell go to the Esquire Magazine website:

Stay tuned for more of the Things We Enjoyed This Week, and perhaps something entirely different.

Enjoy Every Moment my lovelies.

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in (Mis) Chief

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Are You Ms. Cheevious?

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The title of this article is literal. I really do want to know whether you embody all of the qualities of mischief, therefore making you a Ms. Cheevious girl or guy. But in asking the question “Are you Ms. Cheevious?” it makes me think of what would be a very clever slant to another article. That article would tell you all about how I was asked by an adoring fan whether I was the real Ms. Cheevious. Isn’t that just simply fabulous? Just the idea! But that means “Ms. Cheevious” would have to be super uber famous. So we’ll reserve that story for a day when the mysterious moniker of “Ms. Cheevious” is super uber famous. I can dream, can’t I? After all, unless people read the blog regularly, watch the videos on YouTube, follow on Facebook or actually click the pics on my Twitter profile, how would they really know what I look like? I use one of my paintings as my Avatar, for goddsakes! It could happen. The Ms. Cheevious avatar could become more famous than the me underneath and behind it all. Ahhhh, that’ll be the day people… and mark my words people, that day is coming. I’ll use this article title again. It will be the one and only time I will allow the use of a title more than once. But I digress.

As to the real question of “Are YOU Ms. Cheevious?” well, I can help you out there.  If you possess at least two of the below listed qualities of mischief, then you my dear are indeed a Ms. Cheevious guy or girl. Welcome to the fold.

But first, the definition (with Ms. Cheevious modifications, of course):

mis·chie·vous/ˈmisCHivəs/
Adjective:

  1. (of a person, animal, or their behavior) Causing or showing a fondness for causing trouble in a playful way: “two mischievous kittens”.

Noun:

  1. a person or animal who exhibits the qualities of the adjective (above), or who also exhibits any of its synonyms and the synonym’s synonyms.  “Mischievous (also pronounced MisCHEE-Vee-əs) loves company”

Synonyms:    naughty – impish – prankish – playful – wicked – rascally – puckish

THE LIST

 

1. You never get hangovers. It’s true. I’m told I have some extra enzyme in my blood that enables me to drink without getting hangovers (except on rare occasions – like this past Saturday night – hangover #2 in my entire life – when you mix Jameson’s Irish Whiskey, Coffee, Chardonnay, vodka martini, vodka tonics and “The Killer” from the Firehouse in Venice Beach (Vodka, Peach Liqueur, and Arnold Palmer – Iced Tea and Lemonade)).  The rare times you do get a hangover, it is a god-send. Otherwise, you would drink way too much, and all the time.

2. You have “blonde moments”. You do not have to be blonde to have these moments. This is true if you have ever phoned or texted someone and not recalled doing so (and not while tipsy), gone searching for your purse that was hanging on your arm all along (sunglasses sitting on your head, keys already in your hand – you get the picture), or forgotten where you parked, and were late to the next event because of it.

3. You are naughty AND nice. To you, all really IS fair in love and war.  You love breaking the rules, but not if it’s going to hurt someone else.

4. Your middle name is “Trouble”. You don’t just have a fondness for causing trouble.  It’s on your calling card.  And your reputation precedes you.  If there is fun to be had, and frivolity can possibly ensue, you are there to be sure the fun IS had by all, and frivolity commences immediately. You even have some friends who refuse to spend too much time with you, for fear this sort of “trouble” will rub off on them.

5. People feel good around you. You know how to make people feel special, and you derive much pleasure from doing so. You’ve been told that you make someone important feel good, calm, loved. This is key.

6. You have minions. Yes. If you have “people” who will make things happen for you, for others (on your behalf), for themselves (on your behalf — that’s the best one), then you have minions. Use them in good health.

7. You dress to impress. To impress yourself, your loves in life… whatever.  You care.

8. You’re sexy and you know it. You should have written the song, not LMFAO.  It should be your mantra. Party Rockin’ in the House Tonight!  Yes. You are comfortable in your own skin.  You feel sexy, therefore you are sexy. You know how to take care of yourself, and you do it.  But you also know how to cut loose and enjoy every moment.  Which leads me to the last item.

9. You Enjoy Every Moment. This means you will get the absolute most out of every single moment life has to offer.  And it’s not up for debate, like  “what about if someone dies?” Because… really?  If someone dies?  Everyone dies people. No one gets out of this thing alive. The trick is to enjoy every moment while you are still alive.  If there is a time to cry, by GOD you will cry your heart out and get the most out that too.  Enjoy.

Love you people! Mmmmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

What to Do About What They Didn’t Teach You In School

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I apologize that I am starting your week off with this piece of news – especially since now that Easter and Passover is finished, we are happily diving in to Spring… but – well – You are getting older.

Yep. It’s true. No one gets out of this thing without getting older and aging.
I know. Yawwwwwn.

I’ve already heard from the peanut gallery:  “But Ms. Cheevious… we want to hear about something fun that you did in Hollywood!!!”  and “When will you be the same funny blogger we have come to know, love, worship and obey?”

I know.

I KNOW.

Indulge me while I share this important information. I realize that the “Lisa Jey Davis” side of me is not as fun ALL THE DAMN TIME as the Ms. Cheevious side of me, but you would never know just how fun life could be, if you were never faced with real-life shit some of the time. Right?

Just because I’m talking about getting older here does not mean this post is not for you, or that it’s boring, no.  I don’t care how you size it up, but I am never boring.  Slow? Maybe. Blond and ditzy at times?  Definitely.  Boring? No. Nada. Niet. Never.

The truth is, if you are a SMART young thing, you’ll pay attention to this, so that you will still manage to be HOT, GORGEOUS, HEALTHY and FUN when you DO get older… like forty years from now. So listen up.

Last week, I talked about all those things that start happening when you get older and start to go through menopause (from here on out, called Orchids). Similar to puberty (now called Daisies), you’ll start to have some erratic mood swings and acne breakouts.  You’ll suffer water retention and weight gain (particularly if you do hormone replacement therapy) and your hair and skin will change texture and consistency. BLECH!!!  I know.  And the worst of it?  You could be at risk for dementia! So here is what you can do. Watch the video below. It will answer all of your questions. Be sure to post comments below, and if you have any remaining questions, I will be sure to answer them (just make sure you request to be notified when your comments are posted or you’ll have to keep checking back).

If your browser won’t show you the above video, then watch it here.

Tune in next time for Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This youtube channel is NOT to be confused with my Ms. Cheevious channel, which has more comedic funny videos.  You will be visiting the Lisa Jey Davis vlog channel if you follow the above link to YouTube.

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Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Take Care of YOU – 5 Things You Can Do For a Better You

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Ahhh.  The way to a better YOU.  We ALL need this information, trust me. Our planet is getting so stinkin’ toxic, I’m surprised we aren’t all glowing (and I don’t mean the good kind of glow that they say about brides.  I’m talking the nuclear reactor kind of glow).

To be clear, I am a student in this matter. So, under no circumstances am I claiming to be an expert in the field of health and wellness, and if you do these things and get sick, well – I’m not GOD people!  Just sayin’. But I’m still smart. So, listen up. Here’s another component of this post:

When you don’t feel well, get help, would you?

Here are some examples (not to be taken literally) of what I’m talking about when I say “don’t feel well”:

  • You’ve been feeling a little congested, and then you wake up one morning with a scratchy throat, OR
  • Your knee hurts off and on.  Not all the time, but it regularly bothers you and inhibits your from doing some of the things you like to do, OR
  • Your other knee hurts when the first one stops hurting, OR
  • You have a back ache, OR
  • Geez.  How many examples do you need?

I don’t know what it is people, but for some reason we put off seeking medical attention, or even health attention (massages, dentists, eye doctors, chiropractors, etc..).  We’ll go for weeks on end kvetching about our aches and pains, and suffer through it, but we just won’t make the call and make an appointment.

I did this recently, myself.  My back was hurting.  BAD.

I don’t get “back aches.” This was a new one for me.  I had one in the past, and went through weeks of chiropractic therapy after a car accident, so when I got my recent back ache, I was nervous.  I stopped working out for fear of further damaging my back or something else, or worse, not being able to do the workout because it hurt too much, thus wasting my time.  I wasn’t sleeping well because of the throbbing, and I took way too many prescription ibuprofen pills (which I had left-over from my surgery). Needless to say, I was doing that thing.  That thing I just talked about at the beginning.  I suffered for two weeks without making the call or making the appointment. Talk about loss of TIME.

Then I finally went in to my chiropracter and was whipped into shape (no pun intended – get it? Whip-lash? Whipped into shape by my chiropractor? Anyway.) within a matter of about two minutes. I’m not kidding. I talk about this in my related vlog “Take Care of You – Enjoy Every Day with Lisa Jey.”

And though I may not be an expert in health and wellness, I do consider myself to be an expert pamperer of myself, indulging in far too many — “indulgences” — often, and well – you get the idea.

Basically, I like to eat bonbons, and preferably hand-fed or served to me by hot, ripped men in boxer briefs.

So here’s the deal.  We are all like this.  We all procrastinate getting help with something, even to the point of inconvenience (my back ache was inconveniencing me all over the place… making working out, sleeping and so much else muddled if existent at all), so why even let it get to that point?  Let’s just take care of US, and be BETTER all around!

Mark my words, if we actually DO these five things, we’ll find ourselves much less inconvenienced, and far happier, healthier people who feel GOOD… basically BETTER.

5 Things You Can Do for a Better You

1.  Take a bath. Often. I’m not talking about the “quick bath to get cleaned up” kind of bath.  I’m talking about the “lady of leisure-luxurious lifestyle-bath salts or bath oils” kind. The kind that takes about an hour. DO IT.

2. Read something old fashioned. Sit away from the computer, in a quiet place, once a day and read something that is written by hand or typed on this stuff we call “paper”.  Anything.  Your favorite news paper (mine is the New York Observer), a stack of your old poetry or journals from years ago, a favorite magazine (one of mine is “Esquire”), even a guilty-pleasure-Harlequin Romance.  I don’t care what it is.  Just do it.

3. Get Active. Do something active at least three times a week.  Walk, park far away at the mall (so you have to walk more), take three different trips up the stairs to the same office appointment… just for the heck of it, or gee – maybe – – GO TO THE GYM?  But get active and get the endorphins going in your bod.

4. Get Outta Here. Get outside when the weather is nice.  This means you will have to STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER once again.  But that’s a good thing.  Even if it means driving someplace with the windows open in the car, or the top down.  Let the SUN shine down on you.  The sun actually causes us to access those endorphin thingy-ma-jigs…

5. Get GOOD sleep. If you must, take some Benadryl or something holistic like melatonin to help you, but get a GOOD night’s sleep REGULARLY. Sleep deprivation is a leading cause of illness. If you don’t take care of the sleep thing, and you get sick, don’t come crying to me.  You have been warned.

There.  That wasn’t so hard.  Now you are already on your way to a BETTER you.

PFFFAWWW.  As IF you needed to get any better.

And, if you do all these things and still get sick, or injured or an ailment?  Well then, GO SEE SOMEONE, geez.  That’s takes us right back to where we started from, now doesn’t it?

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on my related vlog here.

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Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious