Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

Health & Wellness

What to Do About What They Didn’t Teach You In School

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I apologize that I am starting your week off with this piece of news – especially since now that Easter and Passover is finished, we are happily diving in to Spring… but – well – You are getting older.

Yep. It’s true. No one gets out of this thing without getting older and aging.
I know. Yawwwwwn.

I’ve already heard from the peanut gallery:  “But Ms. Cheevious… we want to hear about something fun that you did in Hollywood!!!”  and “When will you be the same funny blogger we have come to know, love, worship and obey?”

I know.

I KNOW.

Indulge me while I share this important information. I realize that the “Lisa Jey Davis” side of me is not as fun ALL THE DAMN TIME as the Ms. Cheevious side of me, but you would never know just how fun life could be, if you were never faced with real-life shit some of the time. Right?

Just because I’m talking about getting older here does not mean this post is not for you, or that it’s boring, no.  I don’t care how you size it up, but I am never boring.  Slow? Maybe. Blond and ditzy at times?  Definitely.  Boring? No. Nada. Niet. Never.

The truth is, if you are a SMART young thing, you’ll pay attention to this, so that you will still manage to be HOT, GORGEOUS, HEALTHY and FUN when you DO get older… like forty years from now. So listen up.

Last week, I talked about all those things that start happening when you get older and start to go through menopause (from here on out, called Orchids). Similar to puberty (now called Daisies), you’ll start to have some erratic mood swings and acne breakouts.  You’ll suffer water retention and weight gain (particularly if you do hormone replacement therapy) and your hair and skin will change texture and consistency. BLECH!!!  I know.  And the worst of it?  You could be at risk for dementia! So here is what you can do. Watch the video below. It will answer all of your questions. Be sure to post comments below, and if you have any remaining questions, I will be sure to answer them (just make sure you request to be notified when your comments are posted or you’ll have to keep checking back).

If your browser won’t show you the above video, then watch it here.

Tune in next time for Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This youtube channel is NOT to be confused with my Ms. Cheevious channel, which has more comedic funny videos.  You will be visiting the Lisa Jey Davis vlog channel if you follow the above link to YouTube.

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Things They Didn’t Tell You in School About Your Body

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I originally covered this subject in a Video log (Vlog) post on YouTube (at *www.youtube.com/lisajeydavis). If you’ve followed along in my blog like an addict and read the post where I first introduced those Vlogs – you’ll know that I don’t like to share the Lisa Jey Davis’ stuff in here. Generally.

There are no cross-overs in Ms. Cheevious-land! She stays in her real-world, and I get to be ME, breaking all the rules, taking no prisoners and living out all my fantasies in peace. But she did “create” me. In fact, she is me.  Well, a sweeter, less racy, more “Miss Manners” sort of me. So, here I am pimping her videos instead of mine.  But I digress… The point is, this stuff is important, so the information in this video is coming to life right here on the blog.

When you get older — like, way past the 30’s and 40’s for most adults – there is this THING we all go through, and this, they DO tell us about in school.  It’s called Menopause.

It’s such an ugly word – menopause.  I’ve said it many times (though perhaps here it’s a first): Because Menopause is an ugly word, I’ve renamed it Orchids. We all know from school that everyone goes through “Orchids” when they get older.  It’s a right of passage into our senior citizen years, much like Puberty (now called Daisies because Puberty is an awful, ugly word as well) is a right of passage from pre-teen into adulthood.

Let me make something very clear, before going on:  I am too young for “Orchids.”  The only reason I know anything about this, is because I was medically required to remove most of my female parts (see that post here), which thrust me suddenly and abruptly into Orchids.  So, this is not just for senior citizens here, people.  You TWENTY-SOMETHINGS should pay attention now, so you can move through life informed of what’s coming. Perhaps then you’ll choose to enjoy every moment while you still can.  Seriously though, entering and enduring Orchids does NOT mean the end of the world or quality of life as you know it.  Quite the contrary.  I’m more comfortable in my own skin and happy with me than I’ve ever been.  I’m still LOVING life, and enjoying every single moment.  Anyone can.

Also, because I AM in Orchids, I am now an expert. Capiche?

The only real thing about Orchids they warned us about in school is that something hormonal happens which causes women to get bat-shit crazy and all “super-hormonal” up in the faces of everyone they know and love. My only experience with it before now was how my mom’s tone of voice became super shrill and freak-of-nature intense.  That’s about it. Oh, and she cut her hair short.

What they don’t tell you about Orchids is that in many ways it’s very similar to Daisies.  Here are a few of the take-aways:

1.  It’s very similar to Daisies in that your skin changes.

2. Your hair changes (get ready people).

3. You’ll retain water on a daily basis (that is, if you must supplement your body with hormones – or Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)), and no matter what, you WILL gain weight, because your body goes into survival mode if it isn’t producing hormones anymore (for women, Estrogen & Progesterone) and holds onto fat cells, which happen to be the last remaining body component that has hormones in it.  Yep.  Pull out the fat clothes (at least until you figure it out and get things back to normal).

4. If you opt to do HRT, it can cause the dreaded — drum roll —

Eh… I don’t think I’ll tell you here.  You’ll have to watch the following video to get the rest of the scoop on what they don’t tell us in school!!  And there are some DOOZIES you’ll want to know about!

Trust me. Though it’s serious subject matter here, I think you’ll enjoy this video.  You may even laugh just a little. If you don’t see the video viewer below, here is the link: http://youtu.be/J1B6IZ9f0uE

See?  That was pretty painless, wasn’t it?  And I am still here.  I am not cutting my hair.  We’re all okay here.  There’s no need to panic.

If you happened to find this video funny, informative or helpful in anyway, feel free to share this post with your friends.

Tune in next time for tips on handling this lovely new information! If you haven’t already watched it in my vlogs, I’ll showcase it here.  Soon, I’ll be talking about the Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This channel is not to be confused with the Ms. Cheevious channel.  Lisa Jey Davis’ vlogs on her channel regularly.

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Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Take Care of YOU – 5 Things You Can Do For a Better You

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Ahhh.  The way to a better YOU.  We ALL need this information, trust me. Our planet is getting so stinkin’ toxic, I’m surprised we aren’t all glowing (and I don’t mean the good kind of glow that they say about brides.  I’m talking the nuclear reactor kind of glow).

To be clear, I am a student in this matter. So, under no circumstances am I claiming to be an expert in the field of health and wellness, and if you do these things and get sick, well – I’m not GOD people!  Just sayin’. But I’m still smart. So, listen up. Here’s another component of this post:

When you don’t feel well, get help, would you?

Here are some examples (not to be taken literally) of what I’m talking about when I say “don’t feel well”:

  • You’ve been feeling a little congested, and then you wake up one morning with a scratchy throat, OR
  • Your knee hurts off and on.  Not all the time, but it regularly bothers you and inhibits your from doing some of the things you like to do, OR
  • Your other knee hurts when the first one stops hurting, OR
  • You have a back ache, OR
  • Geez.  How many examples do you need?

I don’t know what it is people, but for some reason we put off seeking medical attention, or even health attention (massages, dentists, eye doctors, chiropractors, etc..).  We’ll go for weeks on end kvetching about our aches and pains, and suffer through it, but we just won’t make the call and make an appointment.

I did this recently, myself.  My back was hurting.  BAD.

I don’t get “back aches.” This was a new one for me.  I had one in the past, and went through weeks of chiropractic therapy after a car accident, so when I got my recent back ache, I was nervous.  I stopped working out for fear of further damaging my back or something else, or worse, not being able to do the workout because it hurt too much, thus wasting my time.  I wasn’t sleeping well because of the throbbing, and I took way too many prescription ibuprofen pills (which I had left-over from my surgery). Needless to say, I was doing that thing.  That thing I just talked about at the beginning.  I suffered for two weeks without making the call or making the appointment. Talk about loss of TIME.

Then I finally went in to my chiropracter and was whipped into shape (no pun intended – get it? Whip-lash? Whipped into shape by my chiropractor? Anyway.) within a matter of about two minutes. I’m not kidding. I talk about this in my related vlog “Take Care of You – Enjoy Every Day with Lisa Jey.”

And though I may not be an expert in health and wellness, I do consider myself to be an expert pamperer of myself, indulging in far too many — “indulgences” — often, and well – you get the idea.

Basically, I like to eat bonbons, and preferably hand-fed or served to me by hot, ripped men in boxer briefs.

So here’s the deal.  We are all like this.  We all procrastinate getting help with something, even to the point of inconvenience (my back ache was inconveniencing me all over the place… making working out, sleeping and so much else muddled if existent at all), so why even let it get to that point?  Let’s just take care of US, and be BETTER all around!

Mark my words, if we actually DO these five things, we’ll find ourselves much less inconvenienced, and far happier, healthier people who feel GOOD… basically BETTER.

5 Things You Can Do for a Better You

1.  Take a bath. Often. I’m not talking about the “quick bath to get cleaned up” kind of bath.  I’m talking about the “lady of leisure-luxurious lifestyle-bath salts or bath oils” kind. The kind that takes about an hour. DO IT.

2. Read something old fashioned. Sit away from the computer, in a quiet place, once a day and read something that is written by hand or typed on this stuff we call “paper”.  Anything.  Your favorite news paper (mine is the New York Observer), a stack of your old poetry or journals from years ago, a favorite magazine (one of mine is “Esquire”), even a guilty-pleasure-Harlequin Romance.  I don’t care what it is.  Just do it.

3. Get Active. Do something active at least three times a week.  Walk, park far away at the mall (so you have to walk more), take three different trips up the stairs to the same office appointment… just for the heck of it, or gee – maybe – – GO TO THE GYM?  But get active and get the endorphins going in your bod.

4. Get Outta Here. Get outside when the weather is nice.  This means you will have to STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER once again.  But that’s a good thing.  Even if it means driving someplace with the windows open in the car, or the top down.  Let the SUN shine down on you.  The sun actually causes us to access those endorphin thingy-ma-jigs…

5. Get GOOD sleep. If you must, take some Benadryl or something holistic like melatonin to help you, but get a GOOD night’s sleep REGULARLY. Sleep deprivation is a leading cause of illness. If you don’t take care of the sleep thing, and you get sick, don’t come crying to me.  You have been warned.

There.  That wasn’t so hard.  Now you are already on your way to a BETTER you.

PFFFAWWW.  As IF you needed to get any better.

And, if you do all these things and still get sick, or injured or an ailment?  Well then, GO SEE SOMEONE, geez.  That’s takes us right back to where we started from, now doesn’t it?

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on my related vlog here.

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Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

The Ties That Bind

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Family Ties, that is. Yes. I said it.

And my family is important to me. Vitally important.

Some may argue the contrary.

But I have worked long and hard (my entire life, in fact) to grow and improve on who I am as a person. Out of that hard work was born a very strong protective nature for establishing and fiercely protecting healthy boundaries where relationships are concerned.

How does one establish healthy boundaries, and just what are boundaries?  I’m glad you asked.

Here is an illustration that should help.

Picture this:  My head, surrounded by a grassy yard, with a white picket fence as its boundary.

I know it’s just a sketch, but inside the fence is my green, grassy yard, which represents all the things in my life – all of the choices in my life.  I own those.

Outside of the white picket fence are things that everyone else in my world, including my siblings, kids, etc… have going on – their choices.

Sometimes a person’s choices infiltrate my yard, if I let them.  For instance, if someone makes a choice that positively or negatively affects me, a family member, my children or loved ones, I then make the CHOICE to either accept or deny that situation access to my “yard.”

When crotchety Uncle Leo says something horribly mean and hurtful to my nephew Wilfred, I can choose to bring it into my yard, making that situation one of my responsibilities, nurturing it all the way to its conclusion – OR – I can choose to not allow it into my yard, instead loving from a distance and offering unattached advice to my nephew; advice I am willing to let go of, and never worry another moment about.

The latter, you lovely men and women, is the healthiest choice.  And I’m not one of those people who’s afraid to get involved.  Who’s writing this post here?  I ALWAYS love me some juicy stuff to get involved in, that’s for certain.  It’s really because I LOVE allowing people to handle and deal with their “yard” with the tools they have in the moment more than anything. Most times it is pretty miraculous to behold what people can do.

You could ask “well, what if your best friend needs financial help?”   I can only answer it this way:  I have a few choices, but in terms of boundaries and healthy, smart choices, there are only two I consider:  1) I can opt to help that friend, loan them money, and then lord over them to pay it back, taking that loan and their financial situation into my yard as my own.  Or 2) I can work off of a decision I made long ago that I should never loan money, unless I can afford to let it go completely and leave it up to the person and their path to be responsible to pay it back, never worrying another moment.  Then if I lend the money, I let it go – totally. But whatever the choice, we must OWN it.  If I loan money and cannot forget about it, but instead, must have the money back regardless of situation, then I am inviting that situation into my yard, and now I own it.  If I’m okay with that then it’s fine.  Otherwise, it’s still a choice I made, which I must deal with.

Recently, some members of my family tried to throw the shackles on me, my white picket fence, and my yard too.  They asked me (and some other siblings) to OWN their choices, and help them out of an unfortunate situation.  Sorry.  Couldn’t and wouldn’t do it.  I did not have the resources to help, and I would not have helped if I did because it was a repeated situation we had already dealt with. We siblings had lovingly warned them that something like their unfortunate situation would happen down the road, should they not heed our advice. We each offered suggestions as to how the situation could be handled to avoid coming to an unwanted conclusion, but to no avail.

I found myself in that all-too-familiar situation of being “the bad guy” as this unwelcome truth was communicated to these family members.  They were not very happy to hear that we siblings wouldn’t own their situations and rescue them from themselves.

Am I wrong to not take these types of things on as my own?  Are Family Ties meant to be Binding in the true sense of the word?  And aside from boundaries, is it wrong for me to not want to cover anyone’s ass (yes, even the asses of my siblings) when they make unhealthy, underhanded, lazy, or irresponsible choices (or how about just plain friggin’ STUPID choices)?

What say you?  Let’s hear it…

Love you people!!! Mmmmmpphhhhuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Media Mogul Ms.

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**My apologies to my subscribers for the email you may have received while my crack-team (no.  not my team on crack) of site programmers work out the bugs on a new email format! Now onto today’s post!**

Okay Rupert Murdoch: hopefully you’re not in jail for phone hacking, because I may need your help.

There’s a new media upstart in town and she’s… of all things… using her REAL NAME (cue scare chord, as they say in music/film).

I confess.  She happens to be the creator of this website, the Ms. Cheevious book, the YouTube channel, Twitter, Facebook page and well — ME.  But STILL!  Will she stop at nothing?

I suppose not, because here, this is MY blog, and I’m spreading the word like a pawn in her sinister game of chess.  The goal?  World domination, no doubt.  And, I can’t — re–zist— tell–ing… (grunt) you– about — (moan) — the  —  #%!/  — new — YouTube channel!!!  Whew!!! (Exhausted).

So here it is – her first video on her (read with sarcasm) NEW Channel! Neener neener neener & La-Di-friggin-Dah:

If you can’t see the video box above, click here or copy/paste this link into a browser window: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIuADlcACk4&context=C3528ddeADOEgsToPDskLFoyPePK7v5_9f6ffoEYv3

Go there NOW, would you?  No one can predict what she’ll do to me (or any of us) if you don’t!

I’m told this is a Vlog site – so no shows or comedy.  But if you ask me she’s a real crack pot – I mean – crack up all on her own.

Lemme know what you think you gorgeous men and women!

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

My Phantom Ovary

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There is something you should know before reading any further:  I had my ovaries and tubes taken out on January 6, 2012.

And I mean that literally.  You really SHOULD know this.  If you read my blogs with the stalker-like commitment I’ve come to know and love, and I’ve worked so hard to teach you, you’d KNOW I was having all these big procedures.

In any case, if you did NOT know, well, now you do. In a nutshell- I have the BRCA2 Genetic Mutation for Breast and Ovarian Cancer.  That’s some scary medical speak for “my [cancer] risk is bigger than your risk. So there.”

These “big procedures” were all proactive.  There was no stinkin’ cancer there.  But I’m not one to play against the odds.  I like to win.

Anyway – on to my story.

M.C. Nugget* and I were talking about this whole thing the day after my procedure (that would be the Saturday before last).  We discussed whether the hormone medications they prescribed seemed to be working, what were the pros and cons of medical pills vs. all natural, etc.  Then Nuggie said, “Well you seem like you’re in pretty good spirits…”  in a hopeful, sweet, timid  ‘I-hope-she-won’t-hurt-me’ tone (mwaahha ha haaaaa).

Let me back things up here a bit and remind you that I chose to split my various medical procedures up.  I opted to have a double mastectomy as well as my tubes and ovaries removed (you can read more in “I’m Too Sexy For My Genes“). I underwent the double mastectomy and reconstruction first.  The reason I did not opt to undergo both surgeries at once was because it was just before the holidays, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. What would the recovery be like, and more importantly, would I be a hormonal mess?  Would I be running around trying to get ready for the holidays, with my hair on fire? Would I suffer alternating bouts of uncontrollable laughter, to screaming… then weeping? (and we’re only talking about Nuggie here!)   So, I did myself and everyone else around me a favor by splitting them up.

Nuggie’s comment about my “good spirits” was in reference to our jokes about that.

We then had a witty little discourse that went something like this:

ME: You know, my sister Ice Tay* had a full hysterectomy, and I remember she use to still suffer the effects of PMS. I’m not sure if she still does.

NUGGIE: Really? Like mood swings and cramps and stuff?

ME: Yep.  So, you never know.  I could be all happy one minute, and then – BAM – It’s just like I never lost my ovaries. What is it that people who lose a limb suffer from?

NUGGIE: You mean Phantom Limb? (laughing)

ME:  Yeah! That’s it.  I might get Phantom Ovary, ya never know. So watch out.

We laughed of course — mostly at how funny we think we are.  But it was a good laugh, for sure.

Then, (and there is always a “then”) I woke up this morning with that familiar achy, lower back pain that would visit me now and then, pre-ovary removal.  OY.  Could it be??? Phantom Ovary!!! AHHHHHH!!!!

All I can say is, for the sake of all I know and love, I hope not — or — GOD HELP THEM.

That’s it my lovelies.  That’s all I got.  Have a lovely week!  Be sure to keep tuning in to youtube, and reading these posts, because Nuggie is preparing a video of our good times from 2012 – and with some NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE!

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

*For you newbies out there, Nuggie, aka M.C. Nugget, and Emcee Nugget, is my beau – also formerly known as Fred the Wonder Chicken or FWC.  Ice Tay is one of my sisters. I assign “aliases” to all of my friends and family, so their antics and embarrassing moments can remain anonymous.  I am the only person I know who doesn’t care if people know what I’ve been up to.

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All Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious