Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

Breast Cancer

A “FORCE” on The Doctors TV Show

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This morning I attended a taping of The Doctors television show here in Los Angeles. I’ve been to The Doctors TV show before, but then, I appeared on it (you can watch part of that story below). This time, the show producers reached out to the people of FORCE (who are a force to be reckoned with, I might add) to elicit their members to be a part of the audience for a special show on the secrets of our Genes. FORCE is an organization, “Facing our Risk of Cancer Empowered,” which serves to empower people who’ve tested positive for hereditary breast and ovarian cancer, or the BRCA 1 or 2 genetic mutations.

Let’s just say, I was a PROUD member of that audience. Be on the lookout for the episode. It will be titled something like “The Secrets of Our Genes.”  They weren’t sure of the air date today when we taped it… sorry!

On that note, I’m sending up a smoke signal and a HUGE MOFO SHOUT OUT TO MY BROTHAH & SISTAH “PREVIVORS” (a previvor is someone who alleviates cancer before it can ever occur, either by mega super medical screenings, or by surgery)!

You are all beautiful, sexy, incredible specimens, and I’m so fantastically fortunate to be counted among you.

And there is this VERY IMPORTANT INFO about September (fast approaching) and Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month:

September_Ovarian_Cancer

 

Here is the very video I spoke of above, for your viewing, commenting and sharing pleasure (and NO, I was not holding the camera while driving. It was propped!)

The Boobie Chronicles: My First Mammogram, Daisy Pasties, and Ms. Nippy Fingertips

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As promised, this week, I’m thrilled to welcome Marrie Lobel in this, her sophomore installment as guest-contributor.  Her blog, Dirty in Public, is one of my personal favorites. I’ve enjoyed reading her posts over the last year or so, and I’m excited to host her once again.  Please read, enjoy, “Share” (hit the share button and post it everywhere) and Tweet about this little piece. Let’s show Marrie just how much we appreciate intelligent, articulate writing here – even if it is ever so mischievous.

And so, without further adieu, I present to you “The Boobie Chronicles: My First Mammogram, Daisy Pasties, and Ms. Nippy Fingertips.”

xoxo

Ms. Cheevious
, Editor in(Mis) Chief

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As you know October was Breast Cancer Awareness month, and this being my 40th year, I was honored {not, really} to be a part of the month long celebration by having my first mammogram. I admit that I suffered a painful pang in the pit of my stomach when I was informed that I was due for my first mammogram; the pang? How can I be due for a mammogram? I’m too young. After all, I’m not a member of any garden club and don’t own a single ornate red hat. That morning I woke up, got dressed and envisioned a large red feathered hat on my head when I did my final glance in the mirror before setting off to the doctor’s office.

Shortly after signing in, I was called and escorted into the back, where the latest in medical fashion awaited me. I undressed and slipped into the oversized, fashion faux-pas {with the opening in the front, of course} and stood there waiting for the tech to come back while being stared down by a large menacing machine from the corner of the room. After a brief wait the technician came in and greeted me warmly; which contrasted the temperature in the room. As she gave me the cliff notes on how the examination was to unfold it occurred to me that she has seen more boobies than most men ever will in their lives. The odd contemplation that danced in my head suddenly blossomed into insecurity. I began to shrug my shoulders with uneasiness at my internal awkwardness. What if my tata’s didn’t measure up? It’s one thing to be assessed by a man; it’s another to be by a certified boobie specialist…who happens to be a woman with a nice rack of her own! It was then that things got interesting.

The tata expert handed me two small daisy print band-aids and asked me to place them over my nipples. They were adorable and I decided immediately that I needed to snag a stack for my personal amusement. I had always wanted to try pasties but had never imagined that my first time would be initiated by a woman in Bettie Boop scrubs.

daisy pasties

Once the daisy adhesive body art was affixed properly, the tata aficionado placed her hand on the small of my back as she nudged me closer to the machine that had been glaring at me in a domineering manner since the moment I entered the room. Without further small talk or even a drink, I found my right breast being tenderly grasped; her nippy fingertips flipping and fondling me into position. The funny thing is I remember looking at my boob in her hand and noticing how it looked like a glob of silly goo. Between the nippy fingertips, the daisy pasties, and my goo boob it was immediately obvious that for the first time in my life my breasts were being man-handled and there was absolutely nothing sexy about it! Ms. Nippy Fingertips sweet-talked her way through the examination, attempting to ease my physical discomfort and my emotional unease. Not that any kind words can really make the sensation of your breast being pulled then flattened within a few centimeters of busting pleasant. Suddenly, without warning, Ms. Nippy Fingertips flipped the lights on bright and said I could get dressed.

What? No cuddling? No, “Was it good for you?”  Just like man…oh, wait! Nevermind.

Because Ms. Nippy Fingertips and Dr. Tata wanted to ensure my first mammogram was a memorable one-I had to immediately go through it all again; this time with the added bonus of an ultrasound. The results from my initial x-rays found something “unusual”. Now, I like being different but this is the one time when a simple; “You’re normal”, would have been just fine by me.

iStock_000019356946XSmall

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Like some twisted Groundhog Day, I repeated all the steps, daisy pasties and all. The small talk and examination narrative were reduced to simple you-know-the-drill directives. This time all the real action happened in the back room. Still  looking hot in my hospital gown, I was funneled through the back door into another room where an exam table, dimmed mood lighting, and cold lubricant jelly waited for me. An attractive, chit-chatty woman with a bright pink lab coat suggested I flop onto the table and relax awhile. Before I knew it I was dolling dating advice with my breasts glistening with lubricant while being massaged with an ultrasound wand. I know it sounds like some twisted porn set-up but that’s just how I roll. Just me, the pink lady, and my daisy pasties had good times that day. As for the examination, I was relieved to hear that I was “normal” in an abnormal way and with that the green light was given.

As I removed the lube from my boobies I realized that a new chapter in my boobie chronicles had just closed; leaving my boobies free to wave in good health and laughter. Although I’m not quite ready to join the Red Hat Society or a garden club, I do carry the memory of my first mammogram experience as a rite of passage and my stack of pasties as a spirited memento.

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Tune in next time for a post of my secret divining…

Love you people!  Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in [Mis]Chief

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Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

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MarrieLobel


ABOUT MARRIE LOBEL

Marrie is a Geekalicious NorCal Betty masquerading opinions about dating, sex & relationships as fact through dirty talk & wicked rants. You can read more on her personal blog, Dirty In Public and on Singles Warehouse where she is an #SWEXPERT contributor.

MORE WAYS TO FIND MARRIE

Website: www.DirtyInPublic.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/DirtyInPublic @DirtyInPublic

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DirtyInPublic

My Phantom Ovary

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There is something you should know before reading any further:  I had my ovaries and tubes taken out on January 6, 2012.

And I mean that literally.  You really SHOULD know this.  If you read my blogs with the stalker-like commitment I’ve come to know and love, and I’ve worked so hard to teach you, you’d KNOW I was having all these big procedures.

In any case, if you did NOT know, well, now you do. In a nutshell- I have the BRCA2 Genetic Mutation for Breast and Ovarian Cancer.  That’s some scary medical speak for “my [cancer] risk is bigger than your risk. So there.”

These “big procedures” were all proactive.  There was no stinkin’ cancer there.  But I’m not one to play against the odds.  I like to win.

Anyway – on to my story.

M.C. Nugget* and I were talking about this whole thing the day after my procedure (that would be the Saturday before last).  We discussed whether the hormone medications they prescribed seemed to be working, what were the pros and cons of medical pills vs. all natural, etc.  Then Nuggie said, “Well you seem like you’re in pretty good spirits…”  in a hopeful, sweet, timid  ‘I-hope-she-won’t-hurt-me’ tone (mwaahha ha haaaaa).

Let me back things up here a bit and remind you that I chose to split my various medical procedures up.  I opted to have a double mastectomy as well as my tubes and ovaries removed (you can read more in “I’m Too Sexy For My Genes“). I underwent the double mastectomy and reconstruction first.  The reason I did not opt to undergo both surgeries at once was because it was just before the holidays, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. What would the recovery be like, and more importantly, would I be a hormonal mess?  Would I be running around trying to get ready for the holidays, with my hair on fire? Would I suffer alternating bouts of uncontrollable laughter, to screaming… then weeping? (and we’re only talking about Nuggie here!)   So, I did myself and everyone else around me a favor by splitting them up.

Nuggie’s comment about my “good spirits” was in reference to our jokes about that.

We then had a witty little discourse that went something like this:

ME: You know, my sister Ice Tay* had a full hysterectomy, and I remember she use to still suffer the effects of PMS. I’m not sure if she still does.

NUGGIE: Really? Like mood swings and cramps and stuff?

ME: Yep.  So, you never know.  I could be all happy one minute, and then – BAM – It’s just like I never lost my ovaries. What is it that people who lose a limb suffer from?

NUGGIE: You mean Phantom Limb? (laughing)

ME:  Yeah! That’s it.  I might get Phantom Ovary, ya never know. So watch out.

We laughed of course — mostly at how funny we think we are.  But it was a good laugh, for sure.

Then, (and there is always a “then”) I woke up this morning with that familiar achy, lower back pain that would visit me now and then, pre-ovary removal.  OY.  Could it be??? Phantom Ovary!!! AHHHHHH!!!!

All I can say is, for the sake of all I know and love, I hope not — or — GOD HELP THEM.

That’s it my lovelies.  That’s all I got.  Have a lovely week!  Be sure to keep tuning in to youtube, and reading these posts, because Nuggie is preparing a video of our good times from 2012 – and with some NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE!

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

*For you newbies out there, Nuggie, aka M.C. Nugget, and Emcee Nugget, is my beau – also formerly known as Fred the Wonder Chicken or FWC.  Ice Tay is one of my sisters. I assign “aliases” to all of my friends and family, so their antics and embarrassing moments can remain anonymous.  I am the only person I know who doesn’t care if people know what I’ve been up to.

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All Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

I’m Too Sexy for My Genes

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Buckle up boys and girls.  There is a TON of information in this post, all written in true Ms. Cheevious fashion (fun)… You will miss important information if you breeze through, however.  If you value your life, take the time to read this.  And that’s no joke.  It could really make a difference for you or someone you love. Now, dive in and enjoy.

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October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so I think it only fitting to make this announcement now.  No.  I don’t have breast cancer.  It’s more involved than a simple diagnosis, but it’s important and everyone should be aware of this information, so they too can make informed, proactive decisions as they are able.

This post is in honor of my sister Mary Louise “Mimi” Sherwood Larimore, who passed away in August, 2010, losing her almost 7 year battle to Ovarian Cancer.

Why, dedicate this post to someone who suffered with Ovarian Cancer, when I’ve said clearly it is timely for Breast Cancer Awareness?  Well, mostly because I can, but there are other, much more important reasons.

Read on to learn them.

Now.

Picture this:

Me, with a lab coat and horn-rimmed glasses.

There.

Now you’re ready.

First off, let me preface the rest of my post with this: I am NOT, in any way shape or form saying that anyone can ever be TOO SEXY (for their genes or otherwise)!  No, my dearies, in the long, endless list of things to worry about or avoid, being “too sexy” is not one of them. Also, in this context, I am referring to being SEXY and creating sexiness by staying fit and healthy, which causes our body to become a lean, mean, streamlined, fighting machine.  This of course means that in the world of biology, if we do these things, we hope that all pieces of the puzzle communicate, find each other, and fit nicely together.  Being TOO SEXY, in my case means this: FOR GODDSAKES!  Here I am working my ASS off (pun intended), mostly for the health benefits, and in this particular case, it really didn’t make a bit of difference.

So, apparently I am WAY too sexy for my genes….  My little puzzle pieces (genes) just can’t keep up with me. Or, as I’m told, at least one of them can’t.   But can you blame ’em?  The mere pace I keep in life alone causes grown men to cry… (insert evil laugh) but that is another topic for another time.

Many of you, if you’ve followed my blogs, and my vlogs on my YouTube channel, know that my beloved, beautiful sister Mimi Sherwood Larimore lost her battle with Ovarian Cancer in August of 2010. Her ongoing battle was horrific to behold (even from a distance), but in true Sherwood Girl fashion, we all believed she would conquer the scourge that besieged her body. We all supported her belief, wholeheartedly.

Her illness prompted my gynecologist to begin a personal campaign to get me to the genetic specialists at Cedars Sinai in Los Angeles.  And when my sister passed away, without having opted for genetic screening, my doc turned up the heat. She REALLY wanted me to be screened for Ovarian / Breast Cancer (they are related) gene mutations. So I succumbed. This time, I had no excuse, because I knew I wanted to know, but in the year past, my insurance would not have covered such a test.  This was not the case this time around.  My insurance covered 90% of the screening. I also learned insurance companies are prohibited by law from discriminating based on genetic testing.

I’ll cut to the chase here.  I went in for the screening, and then went in for my results, and more to the shock of the genetics counselors than to myself, I tested positive for the BRCA2 Genetic Mutation.The shock was because even with  TEN FRIGGIN SIBLINGS, I had only one first degree relative with ovarian cancer, and none with breast cancer (although the BRCA2 gene is indicative of the risk increasing with age). None of us is absolutely certain whether our father’s cancer – which was only discovered two days prior to his death – and running rampant throughout his mid-section – was prostate, stomach or pancreatic cancer – or not – (also high-risk cancers for BRCA2 mutation carriers). Our mother did not have it (she had lymphoma). There was a second degree relative with Ovarian tumors at a young age, but that was about it!  So yes, the genetics experts at Cedars were quite surprised.

I’m not sure what to make of the image below… but it matches the lab coat thing we got goin’ on here, and gee, it sure is pretty.  If you are a true GEEK, perhaps you can post a reply below and enlighten us.  But explain it slowly and in three and four letter words if at all possible.

Who would have THUNK something with the ability to wreak such havoc, could come from either one of these gorgeous people?

Padalino & Sherwood - The Early Days

That is my mom, Nereide Frances Padalino Sherwood, holding my oldest brother, with my dad, Orville Joseph Sherwood.

Yes, my little Hottie-McHottlesteins, I am old enough to have parents who were having kids in the NINETEEN-FORTIES… but just BARELY.  My parents had me when they were late into their SEVENTIES.  I PROMISE.  🙂  It was a miracle, and was featured in the National Enquirer, and everything… SWEAR. TO. GOD.

Anyway – back to my lab coat and horn-rimmed glasses… and to the Genetics Counselors at Cedars Sinai:

They explained that our bodies read genetic code as such:

Genes are read in three “letter” sequences.  But every three letters must “make sense” or “spell” something… so a correct set of code may look like this:

But when a mutation occurs, an extra “letter” – like an “A” is inserted, which sets all the code off and causes all kinds of mayhem in your body. It may look like this:

So, why only these cancers (Ovarian, Breast and lesser known cancers) then?  Why wouldn’t this screw up our entire bodies?  Why wouldn’t there be a risk of brain tumors or whatever?

Well, they said it’s like a library.  The brain tissue or liver tissue, etc… it never has to access this code.  This code is only accessed by breast and ovary tissue most of the time, and the prostate and pancreas (and other parts of the body) some times.  So that’s why you don’t get bone cancer, or a brain tumor, etc…

Additionally they provided these nice little statistics of RISKS for me to think about (and share with any and all blood relatives):

MEN
Risk for Early onset (around 50 yrs) Prostate Cancer:
Those with mutated Gene:  20% (goes up with age, significantly)
General Population: 5% (goes up with age after 70)

Risk for Breast Cancer:
With mutated gene: 5-7%
General Population: <1%

Risk for Pancreatic Cancer:
With gene: 2-4 %
Gen population: <1%

WOMEN
Risk for Breast cancer:
With gene mutation:  avg 80% (risk increases with age up to 87% or more)
without (general population): 7%

Risk for Ovarian cancer between age 50-70:
With gene mutation: 19-27%
Without (general pop):  1.7%

Risk for Ovarian cancer from 70 and up:
With Gene mutation:  27-44%
General population: < 2%

So, in my results appointment, my Genetics counselors discussed the options available to me with this new information.  There were a few choices but I opted for the most aggressive approach to eradicating my elevated risks.  For me it was simple.  I saw what my sister and her loved ones went through.  I have had my kids, and hell, I had a breast lift to improve my appearance after nursing my kids years ago!

Sometime in the next couple of months,  I am undergoing a double prophylactic mastectomy (with breast reconstruction and implants) and at the same time, will have them remove my ovaries and tubes. There are other factors that can further complicate the surgery (for instance, if they see something questionable while in there, etc.) but we’re assuming I am extremely healthy and doing this solely for preventative measures.

So why the long, drawn out post, with all these details?  Well, because.

I share everything with you people.

And there is a lesson in all of this for you:  Don’t be too sexy for your genes.  Get screened.

Don’t think you are too good, too healthy, too anything to NOT be screened.  Don’t NOT be screened for any of the wrong reasons.  If you have relatives who’ve suffered from Breast or Ovarian cancer (maybe even Pancreatic or Prostate cancers – ask your doctor), then ask about it and don’t allow FEAR of the unknown, or KNOWN to rule your life.

If you are looking for a conservative approach to life, and want to find a blog that praises you for taking no risks while safely maneuvering through the twists and turns on life’s road – you have come to the wrong place.

Hello!  I am Ms. Cheevious!  Adventurous – Fun – Cute – Cuddly (just making sure you’re still there) – and I really do try with all of my heart to be brave and make BRAVE choices.   Being brave is a choice and bravery is something you must consciously make an effort to practice.

I love life, and I really do – on purpose – take REAL, sometimes SCARY, LIFE-CHANGING RISKS. Not always. But I certainly try not to make choices out of fear.  And yet, somehow I still ENJOY EVERY MOMENT, and I have no regrets.  I truly believe this quote, and I’ve used it before:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, ‘Wow. What a ride!’ ”

You can do that too, if you so choose.  I’m here to cheer you on.  We are ALL here to cheer you on!

Here’s a tweet you can copy and paste into twitter to encourage others too – especially in October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:

They’re MY boobs, and I’m quite attached! Get screened ladies.  It can save your life! @mscheevious #breastcancerawareness

And guess what?  Now that you’ve made it this far – here is the REAL announcement!  HA!

You’ll soon be able to SEE and HEAR more about this journey, because I’m scheduled to be on an episode of The Doctors with my reconstructive surgeon Dr. Lisa Cassileth, who has a breakthrough procedure for reconstruction after mastectomy, called the Cassileth One-Stage Breast Reconstruction (you can read more about that here). We are taping our episode soon, but check your local listings for The Doctors. COOL, EH!!???  I’m also videoing everything and hope to produce a documentary.  Fingers crossed.

OH and  HEY! Check out my new FACEBOOK APP!  If you are already a member on Facebook (have “like”d it), you can check out the new cool stuff by clicking here (http://www.facebook.com/IamMsCheevious?sk=app_208237022576310) and surf around all the little links and such.  You’ll be able to buy my book when it’s published, as well as other fun Ms. Cheevious inspirations to send to your fun, flirty, brave and daring gal-pals. If you are NOT a member of my Facebook Page, please join! You will love the interactive-ness of it all.  PLUS it’s a great example of a custom Facebook page.  I’ve worked hard on it!

That’s it for now…  Stay tuned!

Love you people!!!  Mmmmmppphhhuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious